Treading Water
by SpeedReader9
Summary: It isn't always easy. But the best things in life aren't expected to be. Ash and Spence know what they feel for each other, but that was the easy part.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own South of Nowhere or any of it's characters or...okay, I don't own anything except my imagination. And it saddens me.

Author's Note: This story takes after Say It Ain't So Spencer (although not directly after, it's a day or two later). The only story line that happened that I keep from What Just Happens (aka Play Me or Trade Me) is that Paula has left the house for awhile. Otherwise, the story takes a different turn. The first few chapters are angsty and mushy, and such. But it does pick up, I promise. Hmm, I guess that's it. Oh, and I have another story going right now, which I'm am continuing, I just had to get this one out first before it killed me.

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Chapter 1

Ashley had never really had the chance to watch Spencer sleep before. Those rare times when she was actually able to brave the threat of eternal damnation and enter her friend's house for the night she was forced to sleep in a different room. _Mothers._ And the one time they had spent a full night together, in a bed, Ashley had been a bit…well…out of it to put it nicely. The more she thought about it, she guessed now wasn't even so much as sleeping as napping since it was only late afternoon, but she would take what she could get. The two girls had spent the whole night talking to each other on the phone about nothing and yet, in Ashley's mind, everything. The older girl had stayed home "sick" from school so there had been some serious catching up to do. This morning, after attempting to stay awake during classes (unsuccessful on Ashley's part, successful on Spencer's), they both came back to Ash's to crash. Which brought her back to the current situation: trying to keep her eyes closed when she had the beautiful Spencer asleep in her bed, only a foot away.

Ashley wanted to soak in every detail she could of this girl in her present state. She looked so peaceful and happy. She was curled up on her side facing Ash, breathing easy and deep. Unable to help herself any longer, Ashley reached out and very lightly began to run her fingertips across the very lightly tanned arm closest to her. Ashley couldn't ignore the electricity that shot through her due to the contact with the soft skin. Beside her Spencer sighed and stirred slightly.

"Ash?" she said without opening her eyes.

"Hmmm?"

"That tickles."

"Oh, sorry." Ashleyreluctantly pulled awayand put her head back on the pillow, never looking away from Spencer's face. She was definitely under some sort of spell.

"Ash?" Spencer said again, eyes still shut.

"Hmmm?"

"Are you watching me sleep?"

"Uhh…I…umm…yes," Ashley finally admitted. There was no use denying it really, all Spencer would have to do was open her eyes. Ashley didn't plan on looking away any time soon. She would take her time soaking up the image. Remembering every detail. "Creepy?" Ashley added sheepishly.

She watched as Spencer's sweet lips turned up in a smile. "No. Sweet. Safe. It make me feel safe." She put her hand between the two of them for Ashley to grasp before adding, "But you should get some rest."

Rest. Right. After those heart swelling words that caused her breathing to catch there was no way Ashley was going to get any rest.

_No one makes Ashley Davies melt! I am the melter, not the melted. I am in too deep, _Ashley thought to herself. She kept drinking in the sight of Spencer though, before suddenly snorting at an image that popped into her head.

Sleepy blue eyes peered over at her. "What?"

"Nothing doll, go back to sleep."

"Doll?" Spencer repeated. "That one's new."

"Yeah, but that's what you reminded me of for some reason. You just looked cute, small…breakable…" the brunette couldn't help adding.

Spencer slowly sat up shaking her head. "Breakable. Breakable? You think I'm breakable? Give me a chance to digest this."

_Girls, they're always so sensitive. _Ashley sat up next to her. "Spence, I was just…ooof!"

Spencer's pillow hit Ash smack in the face, knocking her back onto the bed. "Breakable?" she asked again, jumping on the older girl and pinning her down with her body. Ashley gasped at the sensations she was feeling. She was taken by surprise but if it had been anyone else she would have been able to get control of the situation again in no time. But what she felt for Spencer was different than anything she had felt for anyone else and because of that she often found herself letting Spencer lead, not wanting to lose the younger girl.

"What now punk?"Spencer asked quietly. Ashley felt her warm breath against her cheek and shivered. She smelled of cinnamon. Ashley look up into those clear blue eyes she loved and smiled but didn't say anything.

When a strand of Spencer's hair brushed against her cheek, Ash reached up to tuck it back behind her ear and ended up keeping her hand against the younger girl's face. Spencer closed her eyes and turned her head slightly to lean into the palm and suddenly Ashley felt like she was flying. Her heart spend up as she watched Spencer's breathing get shallow. For a split second she forgot everything in her life except for the girl on top of her and nothing else past, present, or future seemed to matter anymore. But just as quickly as they had left, all the other memories rushed back. And then, being the only and only Ashley Davies, she panicked. She was afraid of the intense feelings that were invading her system at the merest touch of Spencer. She was already in too deep and if this current course was followed, she would be left floundering in the middle of the ocean alone. No one ever stayed in Ashley's life. So she did the only thing she knew how to do--ruined the moment.

"I'm shocked baby. I always thought I would be the one on top. I mean don't get me wrong, it means you might have a kinky side, but I'm a bit too surprised to find out much more today."

Spencer didn't respond or jump off as Ashley had suspected. Instead she kept staring into Ashley's eyes as if trying to read something hidden in the brown depths. Gently she leaned in and softly kissed the corner of Ash's mouth. Her lips were soft and rested there for just a moment even though it felt like eternity for them both. Then her mouth went to the other girl's ear.

"Come on," she whispered, "let's go for a drive."

As she rolled off and walked across the room to put on her shoes, Ashley desperately tried to remember how to breathe. Her whole body tingled and she hoped Spencer didn't hear the moan that slipped out when she reached up to touch the spot where she had been kissed. _God I am an idiot. _

"Spence, wait up! Where are we going?" she asked finally breaking from her spell when she saw Spencer disappear from the room.

"You'll find out when we get there," the soothing voice called back.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still own nothing.

**Authors note:** Let there be drama! But hey, a good storm always leads to a rainbow right? Hee, rainbow. Anyway, I actually have the next chapter written (it was all originally one chapter but it was long so I made it into two). So with the proper incentive I can have the next chapter up in no time.

_Thank you, thank you, thank you_ to everyone who left a review. I hope people aren't disappointed by where they were going.

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The drive was spent in silence, save the occasional "left" or "right" from Spencer. Ashley spent the time desperately trying to think up something clever, witty, sexy, or flirtatious to say. Hell, at this point she would even settle for saying something intelligible. She knew she had mess up earlier in her bedroom but she also knew that if she suddenly went back in time and got to do it all again, she would probably end up still panicking. Clearly she had a few issues to still deal with. _So years of therapists have gotten me nowhere damn it._

Every time Ashley would dare to glance over at Spencer the girl seemed deep in thought, a small frown on her face. It worried Ashley. Normally Spencer would watch her drive, even from the beginning. Ashley gripped the wheel a bit tighter.

When they finally arrived at their destination Ashley felt a little put off. "A park? Seriously? Spence, there is a park two minutes from my house. Why did we drive for twenty minutes? Are you going to mug me and then steal my car?" Ashley felt proud of herself at attempting humor even though her mind was still questioning what was actually going on.

"This park has something that one doesn't," Spencer responded, pointing to the left.

"A gazebo?"

"Yes," Spencer said simply, walking towards it.

"Well of course. A gazebo. How could I have missed it?" Ashley grumbled, following behind.

When they both arrived and took a seat Ashley started at Spencer expectantly, eyebrows raised.

"There was a park a block away from our house in Ohio," Spencer began. "A park with, you guessed it, a gazebo. But not just any gazebo. The story was that it was built by a man desperately in love with a woman who engaged to someone else. When he presented his love with the gift he explained that no matter who she ended up with, when she was in this gazebo, they would be together. It was their little world, and only theirs."

"That's kinda creepy."

"Shut up! It was romantic! Let me continue. It became a tradition then for a couple in love to go to this gazebo and write their names. Cheesy? Sure. But I thought it was beautiful. The wood was just littered with names and hearts. Surprisingly, no one ever wrote any profanity. It's like everyone just understood the importance."

"Did you ever write your name?" Ashley heard herself ask but not really wanting to hear the answer.

"No. Although I think Glen's name could be found a good many times. And the name of whatever girl of the week. He never really got the point. Anyway, that gazebo was almost like a sanctuary for me. I loved to go there and think. I would stare at the names and wonder who, if any made it. Then I would create stories around the names. Those couples that did make it gave me hope, those that didn't helped me remember that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling."

Ashley felt herself squeezing her hands together. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she could tell that something bad was coming. She knew this story, as amazing as it was to learn about Spencer, was going to somehow come back to her. Ashley watched the blonde's hand as it slowly seemed to stroke the wood as she remained lost in a memory. More than anything she wanted to go to her and hug her. But she had the feeling this wasn't the time. And besides, she didn't want to start panicking at the nearness of Spencer's body again. Not twice in one day.

Spencer continued on. "When we first moved to LA I was lost. And I don't mean geographically. It's a bit of a culture shock. I was scared, confused, alone. Then one day while my brothers and I were driving around, getting to know the area, I found this gazebo and it became my calm in the storm. My safety in all this craziness. It reminded me of home. I felt safe."

Ashley nodded in understanding. She knew those feelings of helplessness and confusion. In fact, it was a pretty accurate description of what she had been feeling a lot lately. Spencer glanced down and noticed Ashley's clasped hands. The blonde sighed and began to reach out and take them before stopping herself. She look down at the wooden floor instead.

"Spence?"

She refused to look back up but didn't continue her story. "And then I met you Ashley and you became all those things and amazingly even more to me. I brought you here because clearly something is going on with you. And it's something to do with me so I know, as much as I wish it wasn't the case, I can't help you be strong. Right now, here, it's just us. This is our little world Ash and we're safe. I won't hurt you, I promise. But I need to know. Ashley…Ash…I want to know why you keep pulling away from me. I know you care about me, but if the direction we're heading isn't what you really want then you need to tell me. I can take it. But if you don't tell me, then I can't be a part of this anymore. I know how I feel and it hurts me that all of a sudden you don't seem to want it anymore. We get close, we're buddy buddy, but you just...please Ash, it's hurting me."

Ashley's vision suddenly became blurred, but she wasn't sure if it was tears or simply the world spinning. She reached out and grabbed the railing of the gazebo suddenly sure she was the one actually spinning. It would explain the headache. Her brain was working fast, trying to come up with an adequate lie, trying to figure out what was actually happening, and trying to figure out where that sharp pain in her heart came from, all at the same time. _Run! Just run! RunRunRunRun! _her mind began to scream. But she couldn't. This was Spencer and running would mean losing her for good--exactly what Ashley was trying to hard to avoid. She couldn't run, so she did the only thing she could think of to do.

She answered honestly.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Nope, still own nothing. I even checked to be sure.

Authors note: As promised, here's the next chapter. The following won't be able to be up as quickly. I took a little more time to read over this one because I noticed a few mistakes in the last two chapters. My apologies for that. This one picks up right where the last one left off, with Ashley answering Spencer's question.

Again, thanks so much for the kind reviews. It encourages me to keep writing more. So hey, if you keep liking what you read, just let me know.

Oh, and lastly, Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

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**Chapter 3**

"More than anything I wish I could tell you that I'm pulling away out of some sort of need to protect you from this world. The world of gay bashing, of being hated because of who you love, of having your own mother treat you like shit because of who you are. But despite how full of myself I can be, I'm not so full of myself to believe that you're only attracted to guys and me. If it wasn't me, it would be some other girl." Ashley's voice cracked at the last sentence.

"Maybe. I didn't suddenly change just because I met you. This undercurrent of being attracted to girls has always been there. But you were the first person I trusted enough to help me work through it. Maybe there would be another girl, but I know, without a doubt, it would take me a long time to get you out of my system," Spencer responded, looking at the older girl with so much love in her eyes that Ashley felt she might die right there. And she would be happy. Instead she stood and began to pace.

"I know Spence. Me too. That's why I need you in my life. Because without you I'm no longer whole. I'm broken. And how someone I haven't known for that long could be someone so important to me, I'll never know. And how someone who looks like you, and who I want so much, could ever become more than just a sex object in my eyes…well at this point I wouldn't be surprised if in his next speech George Dubya introduced his new life partner Bubba."

Spencer couldn't help but chuckle at the image. But Ashley noticed she was beginning to look frustrated. "Ashley, all of this is great. Honestly. I love that I mean as much to you as you do to me, but none of this answers my question. If anything it's making it harder for me to understand your actions," Spencer said standing up herself.

"Hey! I listened to gazebo story. Now it's your turn to listen. This is hard for me. I'm doing the best I can. The being honest about my feelings thing is kinda new to me."

Spencer sat back down. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Ashley kneeled in front of the sitting girl, as close as she could possibly get without actually touching her. She stared straight into Spencer's and took a deep breath before starting again.

"If there is one thing I am sure of, it's that I can't lose you. You don't know the pre-Spencer Ashley. You've seen hints of it but you just don't know. Now that I know what it's like to have someone who cares and is willing to defend me and step in to protect me, I don't ever want to lose it. I feel like all of my life I've been simply treading water waiting for something to save me. You're my rescue boat Spence. You saved me as much as I helped you."

Ashley watched as Spencer's eyes searched her on in desperation. Trying to find out if she was telling the truth, trying to figure out where all this was going. Ashley looked back, trying to answer those questions with her own eyes. Her heart began to beat even harder due to their connection.

Ash stood back up breaking the connection and took a few steps back. "I'm afraid Spencer. I'm afraid if I give you this last bit of myself and then you leave me, that I will drown. If I lose you as a friend it will hurt desperately, but if I lose you as something more I won't survive. The more I thought about it I just figured you'd be more likely to stay around if we didn't get intimate. I'm a hard person to be with. I'm a heart breaker."

When she finished speaking she simply stood and waited. Spencer was still for a moment and then she stood as well, walking over to the brunette and looked hard into her face.

"Ash, we've been intimate since the day we met. We don't know the normal 'look at us, we're such great friends' bullshit about one another like favorite color and animal. We went straight into what was in each other's heart. We saved each other without even trying. It was practically written in the stars that we were to meet. That's rare, Ash. That's fucking rare."

The curse startled Ashley into trying to speak but Spencer barreled ahead.

"And I'm only telling you this because you need to understand this is not some run of the mill possible relationship for me. Even beyond the wanting a girl bit, this thing, this whatever we are, is intense. It's intense already despite what we have or haven't done. I can't just turn off my feelings. And I can't reassure you about our future Ashley because I can't see the future so whatever I said, it could be a lie. And I will never lie to you Ash. Do you hear me? I choose you. I want you. Everywhere I look, I see you. And I am not going anywhere."

At some point during her impassioned speech Spencer had grabbed Ashley's hands between her own and had begun to squeeze. Ashley found the pressure to be as intoxicating asthe girl'swords. Both the words and the pressure were borderline painful but in a good way. In a way that held truth and promise. Ashley stared into Spencer's eyes and realized they held unshed tears. Her mind reeled as she desperately tried to think of something to say but when she opened her mouth nothing came out. She didn't want to ruin this perfect moment. She wanted nothing, especially her own words, to shatter the hope she was feeling.

In the silence Spencer was the first to break eye contact. The pressure released from Ashley's hands as the blonde girl turned away. "I'm sorry," she whispered back over her shoulder, hand sneaking up to catch unseen tears. "I'm sorry it wasn't enough."

The shock of Spencer's interpretation of her silence finally coaxed words from Ashley's traitorous vocal chords. "God no, Spence. No. You are…you even surpass 'enough' in your sleep. The day you were born you were so much more than 'enough'." Ashley put her arms around the girl in front of her. "I just…this whole day has been a drain for me. I'm not used to someone caring so much and I was confused and scared. I just need to digest all of this. We both do. But I'm not letting you go either. Not ever. Come on, let's go back to my house. We'll pick up some food for dinner. Just you and me, okay?"

Ashley held her breath hoping Spencer would understand what she was trying to say. She didn't want to jump into bed. She just wanted to be with the girl in her arms, just be together comfortably in a room with their new understanding of each other. Ashley felt her arms shaking with the built up tension caused by the whole conversation.

Spencer leaned back into the hug. "Okay. Let's go. I'll call my dad from your car."

They began to walk shoulder to shoulder back to the car when Ashley stopped. "Wait. Wait here." She ran to the car and in a few seconds emerged and ran by Spencer back to the gazebo.

Spencer slowly followed behind and watched as Ashleygently ran her hands along the wood of the gazebo with her eyes closed. Eventually she found what she was looking for and stopped, looking over to Spencer. The blonde smiled and nodded. Yeah, they just understood each other sometimes. There was no way to deny this. Ashley uncapped the marker and wrote carefully, "Ashley and Spencer" simply. Then she stepped away and held out her hand. "Come on Spence. Let's go."

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_The next chapter is also all Ashley and Spencer. But then if I haven't lost my readers yet other characters do actually show up in later chapters...which don't exist on paper yet, but my head is pretty busy with ideas._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah...Own nothing...blah blah blah.

Author's Note: Right well, sorry about the delay. Funny how life chooses to happen when you're trying to write fanfiction. The style of the story has changed a bit. They girls had gotten to talk about things, so now there's more banter (witty, I hope) and things begin to happen. Hope everyone likes it. Thanks for the lovely reviews.

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The drive back to Ashley's, while almost as quiet as the ride out, held none of the earlier tension. Ashley drove with one hand, refusing to let go of Spencer's hand for even a second. It made it difficult getting into the vehicle but the sound of Spencer's laughter as Ashley climbed over the passenger seat in desperation had made it all worthwhile. They had decided to simply raid Ashley's house for junk food instead of getting something substantial. The sooner Ashley got home the better. 

Spencer was back to watching her drive but whenever Ashley would glance over, Spencer would look down, a blush staining her light cheeks. _I guess now that we've had that heart to heart she's back to being the shy one. Either that or she's afraid I might be able to figure out what she's thinking._ Ashley couldn't help but grin.

For her own part, Ash felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Just by getting her fears out to Spencer, and of course Spencer not running away when confronted with them, she felt almost 100 percent better about life. She gently squeezed the blonde's hand.

When they arrived at Ashley's she very reluctantly let go of Spencer's hand but then preceded to try and open every door for her.

"Wow Ash. One little talk and you're acting like you're gonna get lucky tonight," Spencer grinned.

Ashley stared at the beauty in front of her. "I am lucky."

"Oh for the love of…lay off the cheese Ashley!" Spencer groaned. "I don't melt for sweet talkers. Which is how _you _managed to land me."

Ashley grinned. "I'm so glad your dad is letting you spend the night. In fact, I think I love your father. Would it be weird for me to send him flowers?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The credits for The Princess Bride were rolling by the time Ashley realized Spencer hadn't said a word since the fire swamp. Ashley leaned back on the couch (where they had decided to watch the movie, too lazy to carry all the junk food to the bedroom) and put her arm around the younger girl's shoulders.

"If you're feeling ill, you can't say you weren't warned about those marshmallows. I told you it wasn't safe."

Spencer shifted her body so she was looking at Ashley. "So when are you going to do it?"

Ashley felt warmth flow through her body at those words. She knew exactly what Spencer was talking about but Spencer had made her open up about her feelings today. Now it was time for Ashley to have some fun.  
"Do what?" she asked, playing innocent.

"You know what! We've talked, you know how I feel, I've give you ever opening. Be like Nike Ashley, just do it!"

Ashley merely raised her eyebrow.

Spencer jumped to her feet, pulling Ashley up with her. She pressed her body against the older girl and looked deep into her eyes, her breathing getting shallow.

"Ashley, kiss me." It wasn't a plea. It wasn't a question. It was a demand.

All thoughts of teasing Spencer flew from Ashley's mind. All thoughts in general flew from Ashley's mind. She reacted completely on her desire, cupping Spencer's face and pulling her lips onto hers. She had intended the first kiss to be slow and passionate, but at least she got the passionate part right. Then again, how could being with Spencer be anything but passionate.

Spencer's arms tightened around Ashley and her hands began to rub the girl's lower back which, as usual, wasn't covered by any piece of clothing. Ashley's own hands went to Spencer's hair and she felt the girl moan softly into her mouth as she gently bit on her lip. As much as Ashley never wanted this moment to end, she also didn't want anyone to pass out, so she reluctantly pulled away.

Spencer's eyes remained closed and she had a peaceful smile on her face. Ashley stared at those lips, unable to focus on anything else. There were fireworks going off in her brain, in her whole body in fact.

"Ashley?"

_Right. Speaking. What can't those lips do? _Ashley thought as she watched Spencer's lips move around her name. _Sooo hot._

"Hmmm?"

"Am I still here? Are we still in your house? Cause I don't think it's possible that I didn't just float away in bliss a few seconds ago."

"You're still here Spencer, with me."

Spencer opened her eyes, which seemed brighter than ever before to Ashley. "Then you must have held onto me," she whispered lovingly.

Ashley couldn't keep in the laugh that was building up inside her. She threw herself back onto the couch. "So this is what a moment of perfection feels like."

Instead of answering with words, Spencer sat in Ashley's lap, straddling her legs. She pushed the brown hair off Ashley's face and leaned in to kiss her again. This time the kiss was slow. And this time Spencer's tongue found its way to Ashley. Even after the first kiss, Ashley couldn't help but be surprised by how sweet Spencer tasted. Ashley rubbed her hands up and down Spencer's thighs before again pulling away.

"Let's go to my room."

This time Spencer laughed. "Okay. But you're still not getting lucky."

The minute they got to Ashley's room, the older girl put in a CD.

"Trying to seduce me Davies?"

"No. Well…maybe. This is the CD I made for us. It's a mix of songs that make me think of you, and that make me think of us together. It's my..Ashler or Ashcer mix."

Spencer laughed again. Ashley knew she would never grow tired of that laugh. "Spashley mix."

"Spashley?"

"Yes, Ash. Trust me, Spashley."

"Mmmmm," Ashley said as she did her best sexy walk over to Spencer sitting on her bed. "Sounds perfectly wet."

Spencer's hands reached up and began to trace Ashley's face. Her fingertips ran gently across her lips, her closed eyes, her cheeks, and then she leaned in to kiss her lightly on the nose. "You're beautiful."

Ashley winked. "Yeah, I'm pretty damn hot."

"You've gotten so good at pointing out the obvious! But that's not what I said. You're beautiful. Here…" she ran her hands across Ashley's face again, "and here." She put her hands over Ashley's heart.

"Okay, now who's being cheesy?"

"Thank you for not pushing me away again Ashley."

"Thank you for not running away from my stupid fears Spencer."

"I'm surprised, that you've never been told before that you're lovely and you're perfect and that somebody wants you." Spencer suddenly sang with the music.

Ashley laughed. "Actually, I've been told that a good many times. You'd be surprised by my skills…"

"Shut up and kiss me Davies." Spencer interrupted.

"Yes ma'am!" And she did, a good many times before they laid down for the night, just content to be in each other's arms.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ashley woke up alone around three in the morning. She eventually found Spencer in the kitchen stuffing a good number of marshmallows into her mouth.

"Hey, slow down there doll, I want to kiss you, not breathe life back into you. What woke you up?"

"Sorry. The marshmallows were just calling to me."

"Oh yeah? And what were they saying?"

"Uhhh…eat me?"

Ashley eyebrows shot to the top of her head and she looked over at Spencer. "Oh yeah? You sure that wasn't me?"

Spencer almost choked and unconsciously licked her lips. "I woke up because I realized I left my computer on at my house and Glen likes to get on it and download porn. He needs a password when the computer's off." Spencer was mumbling, but Ashley caught the drift.

"Okay, so the only way I'm going to get your attention fully back on me is to take you to your house so you can turn off your computer. And clearly throw out these marshmallows."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. Why not? Mission impossible, Spashley style. And then we can come back here and work on a mission I have for you in my bed."

Spencer grinned. "Let's do it. But Ash? You're still not getting lucky."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Both girls decided to go all out for their little adventure. Ashley pulled out all the black clothes she had and after quickly dressing they drove to Spencer's, laughing with excitement the whole way.

"Shhh, okay, here we are. Man, I've never seen your house this dark."

"Everyone's asleep by now. So how do we get in? Will that credit card thing work on a front door?"

Ashley looked at Spencer incredulously. "Spence babe. This is your house. You don't have a key?"

Spencer blushed. "Right. Sorry, I just sorta got into things." She unlocked the front door and pulled Ashley into the darkness.

Together they slowly walked up the stairs, Ashley quietly humming the theme to mission impossible. And once even stopping to whisper, "You are so much hotter than Tom Cruise" into Spencer's ear.

Spencer was at her bedroom door before she realized Ashley was no longer behind her. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough to see the older girl's shape a few feet back. She backtracked.

"What? Why'd you stop?" she whispered.

"Spencer, kiss me." And even though Spencer had to wonder at the randomness of the demand, there was no way she was going to ignore the desire that was in it. She kissed her hard but short, gently sucking on Ashley's bottom lip as a promise of things to come later.

"You just kissed me in front of your parents bedroom." Ashley whispered. "There are no words to express how hot that is. It's like…I'm corrupting their daughter right in front of them and they can't even do anything about it. If only Paula was in there too."

Spencer felt Ashley grab her hand. "Spence, let's go do it in your bedroom. Now!"

Spencer started to pull Ashley away from her parents bedroom. "Ashley, keep your voice down! And no, we're here for a quick in and out."

"I can do that! Honest, I can do a quick in and out."

"Ashley," Spencer admonished, "do you really want our first time to be a quick in and out?"

"At the moment, yeah." Ashley whimpered.

"Stop being a horny teenager."

"Stop kissing me in front of your parents bedroom!"

"Hey, you told me to. And I had no idea how you would react."

"In my defense, neither did I." Ashley grumbled in defeat.

By this time Spencer had turned off her computer. And together they started back downstairs. This time though, Spencer stopped by her parents door and grabbed Ashley kissing her quick on the lips and then running her tongue down her neck gently biting where she stopped. Ashley swore she could see the grin on the blonde's face as she then turned and skipped down the stairs. "Ooooh, you tease." Ashley breathed, following.

She had just reached the bottom of the stairs, Spencer reaching for the door, when the door opened on its own. Spencer jumped back in surprise, running into Ashley who grabbed her to try and steady the girl. But Spencer quickly jumped out of Ashley's arms.

"Mom?"


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Own nothing

Authors note: Drama. And other characters. Like was promised.

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**Chapter 5**

"Mom?"

"Spencer! What are you doing…oh…you," Paula's anger immediately shifted when she noticed Ashley waving over Spencer's shoulder.

"Me. You?" Ashley asked, receiving a glare from the woman. "Sorry, just trying to get a handle on things."

Paula turned on the lights in the hall. "Spencer, why is this girl in our home this time of night. And for that matter, why are you sneaking out? This is the reckless behavior I was speaking of earlier. This is why I don't want you seeing her. Explain yourself."

Ashley looked over at Spencer when the girl didn't respond. _Come on Spencer, we can handle this. Just keep it light, just keep laughing. Sometimes it's all you can do._ The blonde looked shocked by the events, so Ashley jumped in instead.

"I don't think sneaking out really constitutes what we were doing…I mean we snuck in, so does one sneak out of where one snuck in?"

"I am spending the night at Ashley's mom!" Spencer suddenly blurted out. Ashley mentally flinched. _Good job, Spence._

"I set up a nice place on the couch for her Mrs. C, I swear," Ashley added out loud, winking.

Before Paula could explode at her words, and by the look on her face, Ashley judged something good had been about to come, there were footsteps on the stairs. A sleepy, disheveled looking Glen appeared. _Well this just got better._

"What's going on? Mom? Spencer? Why are…oh, you."

"Me. You?"

"Ashley!" Spencer moaned, poking her.

"Sorry again. I thought maybe this was some weird Carlin greeting game."

"Look, I know you chose to ignore me about staying away from my sister, but that doesn't mean you have to flaunt yourself around my home," Glen growled.

Ashley turned to look at Paula. "Permission to punch your son."

Paula looked too shocked to respond. Glen appeared too tired to get it. And poor Spencer looked like she couldn't decide between laughing or crying.

More footsteps on the stairs caused everyone to look up. Clay made his way down looking confused at the gathering by the front door. "What's going on? Why's everyone at the front door? Oh, it's you."

"For the love of…Spencer, what's my name?"

"Ashley."

"Okay, just making sure it hadn't been changed to 'you' behind my back. Continue Clay." _Clay, the kind of exposition_ Ashley added in her head.

Luckily, Arthur had been right on the heels of Clay. "Let's take this little party into the living room shall we? Hello Ashley."

"Hey Mr. C! See Spencer? I told you I loved that man." Ashley grinned, earning yet another glare from Paula.

As everyone shuffled into the next room, Ashley mentally cheered as Spencer sat down right next to her on the couch. She couldn't help but grin at the frown on Glen and Paula's respective faces. _Yeah, I'll bet that smarts a bit, eh?_ she thought to herself.

"Now, let's start at the beginning. Paula, you decided you wanted some time to figure things out. You chose to stay elsewhere, so please excuse my rudeness when I ask, what are you doing here?" Arthur began.

"I forgot some things here. I couldn't sleep, and I decided now would be the best time to pick my things up. I didn't expect anyone to be awake. I had been _hoping_ to avoid confrontation," Paula responded, shooting a look at Ashley. Ashley waved at the older woman. _Yes, yes, I see you, hello_

"Spencer?"

"Me too Dad. Ashley and I just came to turn off my computer and pick up something I forgot. We would have been in and out if mom hadn't jumped on Ashley at the door."

Ashley nodded solemnly. _Look at my halo Mr. C, you know you love me._

"Spencer! I may not live here at the moment, but that's still no way to talk to your mother. Especially not when you're clearly running around with this girl despite the fact that I told you to keep away."

_May God smite you with a million sexually tranmitted diseases woman. I'm not worried about them getting to Mr. C, I'm pretty sure he hasn't been getting any for awhile._ Ashley thought, shooting daggers at Paula.

Arthur jumped in, "Paula, I gave Spencer permission to spend the night at Ashley's, and since you weren't here, of your own wishes, it was my prerogative."

"Excuse me? Why am I the one being attacked here when our _teenaged daughter_ is sneaking around at three in the morning. Let's keep sight of what's important Arthur," Paula replied incredulously.

"I'm not sneaking around Mom. Some of us are actually welcome in this house!"

"Ooooh snap!" Ashley said. This time five people glared at her. "That was out loud huh? Sorry. I have issues with tense situations. I either lash out or crack jokes. My therapist thinks it's because…"

"Nobody cares Ashley," Glen interrupted.

"Don't talk to her that way!" Spencer yelled back.

_Ooooh snap_, Ashley thought, proud of herself for keeping that one in her head. _Spencer is fucking pissed._

"Glen, Clay please go back to bed," Arthur finally interjected between the fighting siblings. His head in his hands in defeat.

As the boys left, Glen mumbling curses the whole way, Ashley leaned over to whisper in Spencer's ear, "I'll create a distraction and you make a break for it."

Spencer sniffled and turned to look at Ashley who noticed that the blonde must have been crying silently for a few minutes now. _There's no way this is going to end well now._

"Seriously, I'll start stripping and when your mom makes a break for the holy water we'll get out of here," she added, fishing for a smile.

Spencer gave a half hearted grin and leaned her forehead against Ashley's. "It will be alright baby, I promise," Ashley whispered. Unfortunately that small gesture between the two girls seemed to break Paula's silence.

She jumped up and grabbed Spencer's arm, yanking her to her feet and away from Ashley. "This is enough young lady! That is no way to behave. I've had enough of this foolishness, this experimentation between the two of you. This is a sin," she focused on Ashley, hand still tight on Spencer's arm, "And you, have done enough damage to my family. You have torn us all apart. Both of you have torn this family apart. Ashley. Get. Out."

_Yeah. Now she would say my name._

Ashley stood up slowly, never breaking eye contact with the older woman. "Kindly let go of Spencer. And never speak to her that way again. You have a problem with me get in line. But you mess with her, and the two of us really will have a problem, Mrs. C. I'll kindly go. But I'm not leaving without her."

"Good idea Ashley. I think you girls should leave. Paula and I need to have a long overdue talk." Arthur's voice had an edge that Ashley had never heard before.

Spencer yanked her arm out of her mother's grasp, almost oblivious to everything that had just been said. Her eyes flashed with anger. "Our foreheads? We put our heads together and you flip out? Well then deal with this," she snarled, grabbing Ashley and pulling her into a hard kiss right in front of her parents.

Ashley pulled away and looked from Arthur to Paula. "Heeee, I'm sorry, but that was sooo hot." Her legs felt a little weak from getting another taste of Spencer. She licked her lips to get just a little last taste of Spencer's lips before being smacked, hard by Paula. _Woman, you are fucking nuts!_ Ashley would have launched an all out fight right there if she hadn't felt her Spencer sense going off.

It was only because she knew Spencer so well that she was able to grab the younger girl before she jumped onto her mom. "You bitch!" _Man, when Spencer turns on, she really turns on._Ashley couldn't help but think.

"Spencer, Spence baby, you gotta chill. This whole thing has gotten out of hand. It's late, no one in in their right mind. We need to leave before anything else we're going to regret happens. And you have to admit, I've kinda had that coming all night," Ashley said softly, trying to calm the girl in her arms.

Spencer relaxed and grabbed Ashley's hand. "Fine, we're leaving. We're going back to Ashley's house to have hot sex all night! Take that and stuff it!"

"Don't worry Mrs. C, we'll do it on the couch, I promise," Ashley couldn't help but add as a parting shot.

"Have fun girls," Arthur said as they passed by.

Spencer hugged her father, "I'll be back tomorrow."

Ashley gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I mean it Mr. C, I adore you. In fact, after Spencer, you're my favorite person. Don't forget to take out the trash when you're finished cleaning up in here."

Spencer pulled Ashley out of the house and into the car before breaking down completely. Ashley simply held her as she cried. No less than half an hour later Paula left the house slamming the door to her car and driving away. Ashley couldn't be sure but she thought she saw Paula give her the finger on her way out.

The sun was beginning to rise by the time Ashley and Spencer got back to her house and into bed. Ashley looked at the sleeping girl next to her, her face covered with dried tears. She pushed the hair out of her face and softly kissed her forehead. Spencer smiled but didn't wake up at the touch.

"I'll be damned if being in love isn't harder than I thought it would be." Ashley muttered.

In her sleep Spencer's hand found Ashley's. Ash looked down at the hand covering her own and then again at the owner's face. Despite the night's events she couldn't help but feel happy. "I know I am a sap, but ya know what Spence? Being with you makes it all worthwhile."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Tired of writing this line, I went out and desperately tried to purchase the rights to this show. I failed miserably. Turns out it's not really possible on a student salary. _Therefore, I still own nothing._

Authors note: This is just a quick chapter of cuteness that I had to get out before the angst that's to come. I can't help it, I love to write cute scenes between Ash and Spence. But more drama is quick to follow.

Thanks to all the amazing reviews. They really do mean a lot to me. The biggest compliment to me is when others let me know I made them laugh. Yay! Y'all are going to give me a crazy ego. Anyway, the last chapter (5) (and my favorite chapter so far) is dedicated to everyone who has reviewed. I promise more Ashley wittiness to come.

In fact, because you're all so great, if there's anything you want to see in this story, let me know. I don't mean a story line (sorry, that one is pretty much planned out) but any line you might want someone to say, any kind of shout out, even a location...a movie they should be watching, a song that you want on the Spashley mix...a little reviewers participation for a chapter if you want to (I would say the next, but the next is already written).

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**Chapter 6**

When Spencer awoke the next afternoon she immediately reached out for Ashley but found herself alone in the bed. Looking around the room she didn't see Ashley anywhere but eventually she was awake enough to realize there was music playing. In a moment of perfect timing, Ashley walked in carrying a tray of breakfast food.

"Breakfast in bed. Or, at this point, lunch in bed" she grinned.

Spencer smiled. "Spashley mix," she said, acknowledging the music.

"Well, we fell asleep listening to it and I wanted you to wake up listening to it," Ashley responded putting down the food. She groaned inwardly as she watched Spencer's face grow dark at the mention of last night.

"Please tell me that whole thing was a really bad dream," Spencer moaned into her pillow.

"I'm sorry baby. I really wish I could, especially since us being there was all my fault."

"Shut up. This whole thing was coming sooner or later. I was just kinda hoping for later." Spencer rolled over to look up at Ashley. "But you took care of me."

Ashley sat next to her on the bed, grinning like an idiot at the déjà vu, glad for once she was the one helping instead of the one being helped. "Was there an option?" she mimicked.

Spencer just groaned again. "I wish I could just forget all of last night. Forget that it ever happened."

"Hey!" Ashley cried, feigning hurt. "I'll remind you some pretty amazing stuff happened last night."

Spencer smiled up at her. "Hmmm, well I might need a refresher…"

Ashley, happy to oblige, leaned in and captured Spencer's lips with her own. Spencer's arms wrapped around her neck, pulling her even closer. Ashley's tongue gently ran over the girl's lips before feeling shivers at the touch of Spencer's own tongue. Eventually Ashley lost herself completely in the feeling of the girl beneath her.

When they finally broke apart both girls were breathing hard.

"Okay, you win. I'll take everything that happened as long as I never lose those kisses. As long as I never lose you."

Ashley leaned her head against Spencer's as the blonde's hands slowly stroked her face. "I don't get many thing right the first time, in fact, I am told that a lot," Ashley began to sing with the CD, "Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls brought me here. Where was I before the day that I first saw your lovely face. Now I see it everyday. And I know, that I am, I am, I am the luckiest." She whispered the last line staring right into those blue eyes she loved.

In response, Spencer pulled Ashley back into a kiss, laughing as the older girl kept humming into her lips.

"You're amazing and you're mine," Spencer grinned, her fingers tracing along Ashley's neck.

"It's true."

Spencer frowned. "I told my parents we were going to have hot sex."

"Yeah, I meant to point out your lack of follow through on that one," Ashley teased, her voice growing husky as Spencer's hands began to travel dangerously low down her chest. Her fingers were tracing lightly in circles, dropping lower on each pass. Ashley could barely thing straight due to the sweetness of the touch.

"It would really piss my mom off wouldn't it…" Spencer mumbled, lost in her own world.

Ashley groaned and grabbed the girl's hands. "Which is exactly why now is not the time to do it. I want you to be thinking about being pleased by me, not about one upping your mother. Not that you'll be able to do much thinking once I get my chance at you." She gently kissed the tip of each of Spencer's fingers. "And on that note, you eat and I have to take a shower. A nice cold shower."

"Wait," Spencer said, sitting up. "My mom slapped you last night!" Her eyes were wide as if she had just remembered. "I'm so sorry baby." She leaned over and rained soft kisses all over Ashley's injured cheek.

"Well, if this is the attention I get, remind me to go up against your mom more often. Now eat before I take advantage of you in your fragile emotional state."

Spencer stuck out her tongue.

"I know where that tongue has been," Ashley responded, "And I know where I want it to go next."

Spencer merely stretched on the bed and purred, skin peaking out everywhere.

"Oh, you're killing me. You know that right?"

Spencer grinned cheekily and waved. "Have fun showering darling."

Ashley practically ran out of the room. "TEASE!"

Spencer fell back onto the bed giggling. "I love you Ashley," she informed the ceiling.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer:Same aschapters 1-6

Author's Note: I'm bored. So I'm uploading another chapter. There's drama. There's family time. There's even a puzzle. Also the word asshat makes a special appearance. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 7**

After her shower Ashley had taken Spencer home with the promise to call that night. Being home caused the reality of the past few days to come crashing down on Spence. She was no longer in the sanctuary of Ashley's arms. She could no longer deny what was happening. Spencer had left her family to deconstruct on their own. Her father walked around moping, clearly depressed. Glen was giving her the cold shoulder. Clay was in serious denial, acting as if nothing at all had happened. For her own part, Spencer felt guilty, deeply guilty. Remembering how things used to be, Spencer missed Ohio for the first time since meeting Ashley.

She couldn't help but feel that the whole ordeal was some kind of penance. But she wasn't sure what it was for. She was positive that what she felt for Ashley wasn't a sin. There was no way. Ashley and sin did have a few common characteristics though. They were both fun, exotic, and impossible to refrain from partaking in. Spencer had committed "sins" before, she wasn't as innocent as everyone thought she was. The important difference was the way she felt afterwards. After "sinning" Spencer felt empty, sometimes dirty. She might not be innocent but overall she thought of herself as a good person. On the flip side, after Ashley, Spencer felt content and happy in a way she had never known.

No, her penance was not for choosing Ashley. It was because she had been selfish. As her family crumbled around her she had chosen not to help, not even to stand idly by, but rather flaunt her own happiness. To flaunt her own decision in front of those who had enough to deal with. No one had even mentioned the night before since she'd been home. No one mentioned Mom. No one mentioned Ashley. It just hung there, not like the elephant, but more like the frigging blue whale in the room.

She was being torn in two directions. On one side stood her family. On the other stood Ashley. Maybe they could just cool things off for a bit, at least until her family was on enough solid ground with their individual issues to accept Ashley as a part of Spencer's life.

But lying alone in her own bed that night, filled with the silence of the house, Spencer knew she would never be able to give up Ashley. It was only a little over 24 hours ago that they had finally figured it all out, but she already felt like a part of her was missing without Ashley in her arms. She didn't want to cool off. She didn't want to lose her family but she didn't want to lose a part of herself either.

Everything inside her hurt and she was emotionally exhausted so she did what anyone would do in that situation. She called Ashley.

"I miss you," she heard as a greeting.

Spencer felt herself smile, despite it all. She just held the phone to her ear, soaking in the brunette's husky tones.

"Are you okay?" Ashley asked the silence.

"No."

"Do you want me to come get you?"

_Yes,_ Spencer thought. "No," Spencer said. She began to feel a familiar prickling sensation behind her eyes.

"I'm glad you called," Ashley continued almost shyly. "I know we said we'd talk tonight, but I was worried that maybe you would change your mind about us by being at home."

"After this morning? You brought me food in bed. You're a keeper," Spencer said, trying to keep her voice light. But Ashley saw right though it.

"I want to help you, Spence. What can I do?"

Hearing the love in her voice Spencer was no longer able to keep in her tears. She didn't know what anyone could do. She wanted to run away with Ashley to some private island and never look back. She let out a small sob.

"I want my mom."

There was silence from Ashley, then, "Because bitching at her puts you on cloud nine?"

"No. You might not understand this because your mom was never there for you like you deserved, but my mom used to be different. She fixed things. You could talk to her about problems. Hell, she's a doctor. If you got hurt mommy really did make it all better. Right now I'm hurting, Ash. And I'm so lost. And as immature as it is, my first instinct is to want to run to my mom and have her make it all better. Of course, eventually my brain kicks in and I remember my mom is most of the problem. I just miss her."

There was more silence as Spencer cried quietly into the phone.

"I'm sorry you lost that feeling of safety with your mom," Ashley finally said.

"I'm sorry you never had it," Spencer responded. "But now we have each other."

"Always," Ashley whispered.

Spencer curled up into a ball and pulled a blanket over her legs. "Would you do something for me?" she asked.

"Always."

"Sing me to sleep Ashley. I want your voice to be the last thing I hear before I dream. Then I'm guaranteed to dream of you."

"That I can definitely do. I know the perfect song. It's my fathers…the one you missed at my show. I want you to hear it now more than ever."

"Thank you," Spencer whispered. She pulled the blanket over her head wanting to believe she was in a world with only Ashley as the girl began to sing.

"Spend your life searching, waiting in line…"

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

She did dream of Ashley. The dream had been simple and sweet, merely Ashley holding Spencer as together they floated in the waves of the ocean. But Spencer hadn't been afraid because Ashley stared into her eyes the whole time, smiling and never once letting go. Spencer was convinced that the dream was the only thing that got her up the next day.

She had opted out of going to church. It simply wasn't in her to praise God at this time. Of course, Spencer did end up thinking the big man upstairs for her decision when everyone came home in an even worse mood. Glen brushed past her, thankfully still not speaking. Her father gave her an awkward hug, mumbling something about her mother before going to pour himself a drink. Clay was actually in tears.

As they each went their own way Spencer felt her sadness dissolving into anger. None of them were even trying to comfort each other. She wouldn't let this happen to her family.

_What would Ashley do?_

Ashley laughed. Ashley cracked jokes. And Ashley had survived far more than most people realized. Spencer had to be strong like the girl she loved.

She stood in the doorway of the dining room watching her father. "Let's do a puzzle," she blurted out. _Good job, Spence,_ she thought when she realized she wasn't sure where she was going with this yet.

"Pardon?"

"Yeah, let's do a puzzle, all of us, like was used to when we were younger."

"Honey, now doesn't really seem the time does it? What made you think of it?"

Spencer shrugged. "I guess I was in a mood to put something together instead of watching everything fall apart."

Her father looked up at her for real at that. He stared into her eyes and understood what it was she wasn't saying. She watched as he slowly nodded and rose from his chair. "I'll go convince Glen."

When they all gathered at the table Clay and Spencer had already decided on a 500 piece Simpson's puzzle. Glen couldn't help but grin. _He is so easy_, Spencer laughed to herself.

Everyone fell into a rhythm, working on separate parts of the puzzle. No one really spoke to each other except for asking for pieces. But as Spencer looked around the table she couldn't help but notice the tension slipping away for at least the time being. She grinned as she watched her father search frantically for a piece. She laughed as Clay and Glen argued over the placement of a section.

"Hey lesbo, you gonna help us out or just sit there grinning like an idiot?" Glen asked, interrupting her moment of happiness.

"Glen!" her father admonished.

"It's okay Dad. Glen's just worried that it will get around school that I can please a woman better than he can," Spencer countered with a grin.

There was a collective groan of disgust from the guys as a few puzzle pieces flew in her direction. Arthur even looked a little sick.

Clay put his hands over his ears. "As your brother I am not allowed to hear these things. Ever."

"That was a low blow you brat!" Glen added.

Spencer fell into a fit of giggles. The looks on their faces were classic and despite their words, her brothers were smiling. Maybe someday they really could accept Ashley.

As if on cue her cell rang. Seeing that it was her brunette beauty Spencer left the room to answer it.

"I miss you."

Ashley laughed. "I can beat that. My lips miss your lips. I'm starting to miss you on the micro level. How'd you sleep?"

"Almost as good as I sleep in your arms. You're my hero."

"And if I had a nickel every time someone told me that. Anyway, I called because I was curious as to how we were going to handle school tomorrow…you know, as in as a couple."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't want to push you. Am I allowed to hold your hand? Kiss you in public? Try and sex you up in the hallway? I can handle keeping it between us for a bit if that's necessary, but I might have to kill anyone who hits on you now. Do I have to pee on you to mark my territory?"

"Ewww, Ashley!"

"I'm just saying…I want everyone to know you're mine. You're hot. I have bragging rights."

"I am yours Ashley. And we will let everyone know in a way that doesn't involve screaming it from rooftops or humping my legs."

"So what you're saying is leave the 'Spencer had her tongue down my throat' banner at home?"

"Only if you want my tongue down your throat again."

"Point taken. But what exactly have we decided here?"

"Go with the flow Ashley. I am yours. I don't want to hide that, okay? But let's just take it each day at a time."

"Only if you say yes to hand holding. I neeeeed to touch you when I'm around you," Ashley whined.

Spencer laughed. "Agreed."

"So, you sound better than last night. Your family doing better?"

"We're just kind of pushing it aside for now. To be together, draw strength from each other. We're having a good time. I took a page from the book of Ashley."

"The book of me, huh? This good time involved skinny dipping then?" Ashley teased.

"No! Wait…you, you go skinny dipping a lot?"

"What can I say? I like the feel of the water against my naked skin…"

"I…ummm…" Spencer began to mumble.

"You're picturing it now aren't you?"

Realizing her family was only a room away Spencer quickly changed the subject before she started to verbally explore Ashley's body. "I was able to get my family together to do a puzzle. I just asked myself 'What would Ashley do?'"

"Damn, I like that. I'm thinking t-shirts, bumper stickers, buttons. If everyone started asking themselves that the world would get a lot sexier. Which is why I had to question how you got to doing a puzzle..."

"It was the PG version of the 'What would Ashley do?' game is all. I panicked. I don't want to see my family naked."

"That I can understand. I don't want to see Glen naked either. Well, I'll let you get back to the puzzle then. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

As Spencer hung up the phone she noticed Glen standing behind her.

"You realize this doesn't change things right?" he started, "Just because we're all here together smiling. Mom is still gone. You're still with Ashley. Clay is still trying to find himself or some shit…"

"And you're still an asshat," Spencer finished. "Yeah, I know. But at least we're together," she said before pulling Glen back into the dining room. "Now, where were we?"


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with SoN or the characters.

Author's Note: I don't write for reviews, but nice reviews do keep the chapters coming faster.

Oh my...I'm a review whore!  
_**hangs head**_

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**Chapter 8**

"Are you ready for this?"

Spencer looked over at the girl who just spoke. "You know Ash, if I didn't have a test I would totally want us to just skip and spend the day together. Alone."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "You are such a sped! You just said that because you knew it would torture me all day, thinking about what we could have been doing."

"Ashley, you're always thinking about what you could be doing to my body, nothing else," Spencer moaned getting out of the vehicle.

Ashley followed her out. "Not true! I have spent a fair amount of time thinking about what you could do to my body as well."

Spencer laughed nervously and grabbed Ashley's hand. "Ash? I just…I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me over the weekend. This is probably our last moment of sanity before going into school and I just wanted you to know how much it…how much you…mean to me. I'm having a really hard time here," Spencer let out another laugh and ran her hand through her hair. "Okay, you know the song 'I Could Get Used to This' by the Veronicas?"

Ashley shook her head no.

"Well look it up sometime. That's my song for you. It says everything I'm having trouble saying," Spencer finally finished.

Ashley looked deep in thought. Finally she said, "Look After You, by the Fray. That is my song for you today," she grinned, "Since we're in the business of telling each other how we feel through song. Now come on my Sped."

Spencer held onto Ashley's hand as they walked into school. As she glanced down at their intertwined fingers she felt a little light headed. _This really is happening _she thought. Just when she was sure nothing could ruin this, she caught sight of a certain someone heading their direction.

"Holy Crack-Ho, Spencer!" she said warning the younger girl.

"Good morning Madison," Spencer greeted sweetly, letting go of Ashley's hand.

Ashley felt her heart sink, until she felt Spencer's hand relocate in the back pocket of her very tight jeans.

" I didn't realize the gay pride parade was on its way through this morning," Madison smirked.

Ashley turned to Spencer, "Madison's just angry because I scored the hotter Carlin."

"Anger is a common emotion in people Glen has dated. As well as disgust, bitterness…" Spencer agreed.

"So I guess it's true what they say about you Spencer, so desperate for a hook up, anyone who shows you a little bit of attention is fair game. Doesn't matter if they _have_ a girlfriend, or if they would have to _be_ your girlfriend. Anything for a little action."

Ashley felt Spencer's body tense up next to her. "I have to get to class.," she mumbled, trying to disengage from Ashley's pants. AsSpencer walked awayAshley felt her anger build.

"She has enough shit going on at home. Why do you have to be a bitch and add to it?" she growled.

Madison glared. "We all have problems. I'm not going to coddle her just because she's your bed mate now. It won't last anyway," she leaned in closer until she was right by Ashley's ear, "and I'll make sure of that."

Ashley didn't run across Spencer again until lunch. She spotted the beauty sitting alone at a table reading a book, unaware of all the appreciative glances she received from everyone passing by. That was one of the things Ashley loved about Spencer. She had no idea how amazing she really was. She was humble. _And I wouldn't know humble if it came up and bitch slapped me._ She was still drinking in the sight when Aiden appeared next to her.

"So you two finally got it together huh?"

Ashley smiled. "She is amazing isn't she?" she agreed. Then she noticed the shadow that crossed Aiden's face. "I'm sorry. I know how much you liked her. This is the problem with being friends with a lesbian, you might fall for the same girl."

Aiden just shrugged. "She was just knew blood. Something sweet and innocent for a change. Nothing special."

"Nothing special!" Ashley grabbed Aiden's face and turned it so he was looking at Spencer. "Just look at that."

Spencer was now talking to someone at another table. Her head was slightly tilted in the way that became synonymous with her very personality. She let out a loud laugh and grinned, shaking her head. As she went back to her book she bit her lip in concentration. Ashley glanced back at Aiden who suddenly looked a little too absorbed in what he was seeing.

"Stop. Stop looking at that. Aiden!" Ashley yelled, calling his attention back to her. "She's mine now."

He just winked and together they walked over to the blonde.

"Can I ask you two a question?" he asked as they sat down. Ashley sat as close to Spencer as she could, feeling her heart swell as the younger girl smiled sweetly at her.

"Can we stop you?" Spencer countered.

"What's so great about lesbians?"

Ashley had the sudden urge to jump across the table and throttle the boy. She tensed waiting for Spencer to jump from the table screaming off into the sun. But Spencer merely laughed and looked at Ashley. _I'm sorry_, Ashley mouthed, before turning to back Aiden.

"Says the boy who's watched Lesbian Spank Inferno how many times now?"

"Okay, I know what's good about lesbians, I'm asking what's so good about being one."

"I assume you merely mean physical perks."

Aiden just raised his eyebrows.

"Well one perk is that you're never unsure of what to do in bed. The plumbing you practice on is the plumbing you'll be working with," Ashley said after a moment of thought.

"More breasts," Spencer said from behind her book.

Ashley began to cough. Spencer looked up at her concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Breasts?" Ashley managed to get out.

"Yeah, two girls, four breasts. The more the merrier."

"Breasts? Spencer, you're a breast girl? I had no idea." Ashley felt herself redden as Spencer proceeded to blatantly check her out.

"Clearly you haven't looked in a full body mirror lately," she responded, biting her lip again.

Ashley moved even closer to Spencer, her face inches away. "Miss Carlin, are you hitting on me?"

Spencer's eyes dropped to Ashley's lips as she licked her own. "Only if it's working," she said, her voice getting lower.

"Wildest…fantasies…coming…true…" Aiden interrupted.

Spencer sighed and dropped her head onto Ashley's shoulder. Ashley slowly looked over at Aiden with murder in her eyes. "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm sorry," the boy mumbled, "but if that kept going any further, I was going to have to run to the bathroom."

"Ewww!" Spencer groaned, still pressed against Ashley's shoulder. "Mmmm, my girlfriend smells good."

Ashley began to cough again. "What?"

"What?"

"Sidebar," Ashley yelled, pulling Spencer away from the table. "You just called me you girlfriend."

"I'm sorry?" Spencer said, looking confused.

"No! I mean, we hadn't said anything…I just assumed, but to hear you say it…" Ashley began to giggle as she sat back down at the table. "Girlfriend," she informed Aiden.

"So I heard."

"Girlfriend," Ashley sighed again.

"Hey, let's get out of here," Spencer suddenly said.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, you and me. Let me go put this in my locker, but then let's blow this joint. I want to spend some time alone with my girlfriend."

Ashley couldn't wipe the grin from her face as Spencer walked away. "That's my girlfriend," she once again informed Aiden as she watched Spencer put an extra sway in her hips.

"I've never seen you like this before Ashley," Aiden said appreciatively.

"I've never felt this way before," Ashley sighed. Her happy thoughts were once again interrupted by the appearance of Madison. This time she was walking next to Spencer. The two girls appeared to be arguing. Ashley frowned as Spencer's eyes shot up and looked at her questioningly. Spencer then just shook her head and broke away from Madison.

"Let's go Ash."

- - - - - - - - - -

The ended up going to the beach. They found the most secluded place they could and Ashley laid down a blanket before plopping herself down on it.

"What happened with Madison?" she finally asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Spencer said, lying down next to the girl. She put her head on Ashley's shoulder and kissed the tip of her nose. "There are much better things to do then talk about her right now."

"Did we bring any water with us? Because suddenly I'm feeling a little dehydrated."

"You know, back in Ohio, I used to run track as well as being a cheerleader," Spencer began.

"So you're saying you have good stamina and you can a loud voice? Hot," Ashley interrupted.

Spencer went on, ignoring the older girl, "So I learned how to keep myself hydrated on hotter days. Open your mouth."

Ashley did as she was instructed and Spencer leaned into her and gave her a deep kiss, her tongue fully exploring Ashley's mouth, practically filling her up with all that was Spencer. Ashley lost herself for a moment in the feeling of Spencer's tongue. Ashley was no innocent, she'd experienced a good many tongues in her time, from both sexes, but Spencer's was the sweetest most perfect thing she had ever come across. _Oh god, come across…and that very thought just turned me on incredibly. Soon I can mean that in every way._

As Spencer left Ashley's mouth she moved down to lightly suck on her neck. Her hand danced across Ashley's stomach. Ashley's experience of touch was heightened. Every pass of the hand, every lick of her tongue (even only on her neck) sent shivers down her body.

Spencer gently bit at her ear. "I want you so badly," she whispered. Finally Ashley reacted.

She turned over pulling Spencer into another kiss, situating herself so now she was on top. She kissed down the blonde's neck and reached under her shirt to cup her breast. Spencer moaned her name and Ashley felt she had never heard anything hotter in her life.

"I love you," she whispered.

The words didn't have the affect she was hoping for though as Spencer suddenly froze.

"Stop," she mumbled, refusing to look at Ashley.

"What? Why?" Ashley felt her blood still pumping, as she got off Spencer.

"We're on the beach, we shouldn't do this here, anyone could come walking by at any moment," Spencer replied, still not looking at Ashley, but slowly moving away.

"No, don't lie to me Spencer. You promised me you never would. You stopped when I said…when I said what I said. Why?" Ashley was suddenly very afraid.

Spencer was silent for a moment then look Ashley hard in the face. "Why did you say it?"

"Because I meant it."

Spencer looked away again. "Madison said the only time you ever tell someone you love them is when you're…when you're about to get something in return." Ashley heard Spencer's voice breaking.

"Madison…Madison? What the fuck does she know about it?"

"She said Aiden told her."

"And you believed her?"  
Spencer made eye contact again, her eyes dark. "No. But you can't say that's not what just happened here."

Ashley felt her heart break. Spencer really couldn't think she didn't mean it. Not with her. "I know. But that doesn't mean I meant it any less."

Ashley watched as tears finally began to flow down Spencer's face. "I know Ash. It just hurt to have Madison be able to call exactly when you would say those words to me for the first time. This whole thing is probably irrational but, I'm trying to balance a family that's falling apart, a new relationship, a new city, new everything right now. I'm an open wound. You deserve better."

"Shut up, Carlin. Your brother has the market cornered on stupid statements. Come here," Ashley opened her arms and enveloped Spencer into a hug. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, _Ashley kept yelling at herself in her head. That sat like that, in silence until Ashley decided it was time to take Spencer home.

_Fuck you Madison. The gloves are coming off._


	9. Chapter 9

Diclaimer: I don't own these, I have nothing to gain, ask me again and I'll tell you the same.

Author's note: Are you ready for some update? Whoa, sorry, I don't know where that came from. This time of night/morning makes me weird. Anyway, to let my readers know, I have another SoN fic (a darker one) that I recently started and I'm contemplating putting it up. So show some love. (really, there's a correlation there somewhere)

* * *

**Chapter 9**

The next day Ashley went to school with three things on her mind. She had no plan but she had a list of what she needed to accomplish. Needless to say, showing up to any of her classes wasn't one of them.

1) Destroy Madison  
2) Confront Aiden  
3) Apologize to Spencer

She hoped to accomplish them in that order, working out her anger before then throwing herself at Spencer's feet. And boy, what an anger it was. All night all Ashley could think about was the look of pain that crossed Spencer's face after Ashley's declaration of love. Ashley couldn't help but wonder if it would always be like that. One moment they're fine, and the next something or someone is coming between them yet again.

_Gah, she's lucky if I'm ever able to say it again now. I mean how fucked up is that? I admit that I love her, meaning it for the first time ever, and because of Madison it ends up hurting her. _With those, and related, thoughts running through her head by the time she found Madison in the school parking lot sitting in the bed of some pick-up truck all Ashley could see was red.

"Madison," Ashley had lost all of her well practiced cool. She was seething, and unless she was sorely mistaken, her left eye had begun to slightly twitch. She could take this cheer bitch coming after her, but to drag Spencer into their little feud was crossing that line.

Madison, unfortunately, was the epitome of cool at the moment. She gracefully climbed down from the truck and raised one well manicured eyebrow. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

_Answers first, beating later. Answers first, beating later, _Ashley kept chanting in her head.

"We need to talk," she said taking in the usual crowd that surrounded the cheerleader, "Alone."

Madison shrugged. "Let's walk."

Once they were far enough away Madison spoke again, "What's your malfunction?"

Ashley turned away for a moment to try and regain her cool. "What's with this recent wicked witch impression? Why with the uber bitch?" she finally asked, her fists clenching at her sides.

"You seem angry Brokeback. Why are you so…oh, oh you didn't!" Madison began to giggle. "Oh, this is classic, I could set my watch to your impeccable timing. I'm guessing someone let three little words slip in a moment of joy."

"Why do you have this deep need to fuck up my life?"

Madison clucked her tongue, "Awww, honey, you seem to be the one fucking up your life. I didn't do anything but tell Spencer the truth. Scouts honor."

Ashley began to shake with anger. The only thing that kept her in check was the knowledge that Spencer would disapprove of her starting the fight. Self preservation would fly, but Madison refused to be riled and Ashley was quickly losing ground.

"Just stay clear of Spencer," she warned, "Because if I lose her, who knows, I'll have nothing to lose by turning to guys again. And you and I always did have the same taste in men." Ashley leaned in even closer, practically growling now, "I will systematically fuck every boyfriend you ever have. You will always be known as that chick who keeps losing her boyfriends to a lesbian who actually knows how to satisfy. You will be no one Madison, and you will have no one."

"You mean like you? Careful with your threats Ashley, your inner slut is showing. But fine, no more whispered truths behind your back. I told her everything Aiden told me anyway." They were still standing close, face to face, so Madison just turned her head to whisper in Ashley's ear, "But this is far from over." She kissed Ashley noisily on the cheek. "Toodles!"

Ashley barely had time to process everything. _There's more that she told Spencer? Why is Aiden so stupid? Ewwww, now I have straight girl cooties!_

She watch Madison begin to walk away. _Oh fuck it._

"Madison?" she called out.

As the smug girl turned back she was greeted with a right hook to the jaw. Madison went down and Ashley felt pretty damn good about herself until she noticed some movement out of the corner of her eye. Turning she saw a crowd running towards them. _Damn, her high pitched cry brought the rest of the dogs._

Her attention elsewhere she failed to notice Madison's returning shot until it was too late. Still reeling from the mar on her face Madison had aimed a bit high and caught Ashley right above her left eye. _Which really won't help with the twitching I'm sure._

"You are so violent! Who actually finds that attractive? I guess your girlfriend likes it rough," she sneered taunting Ashley.

Ashley threw her hands up in the air in disgust. "Bitch much? Do you ever know when to just shut up?" she said before tackling the girl before her. Ashley knew her only chance of getting out of this was to keep swinging at anyone who got close and hope that they were all too concerned with their faces to do much. Of course, it was a desperate hope that everyone was as vain as Madison.

And keep swinging she did until finally strong arms grabbed her around the midsection. Ashley suddenly realized she hadn't heard anything for a few seconds, she had been so focused on her anger, on the look on Spencer's face that kept flashing through her mind. All of a sudden the noises rushed back to her and the cries could be heard.

As she was being pulled away she couldn't help but note those cries weren't coming from Madison. Although looking worse for wear the cheerleader merely watched Ashley with a promise in her dark eyes. And for a split second Ashley was afraid.

"Let go!" she began to struggle with her captor. She jerked her head back making contact with someone's jaw.

"Damn it, Ashley!"

"Fuck, I'm sorry Aiden," she apologized as the boy released her. Then she remembered number two on her list. "Aiden, you ass, what didn't you tell Madison about me?"

"What?"

"You told her about the baby, you told her about my issues with love, fuck Aiden, did you give her first hand instructions on how I liked it in bed?" Ashley was yelling at this point. Frustrated with the world. Only wanting to see Spencer, tired of everyone else.

Aiden as least had the decency to look ashamed. "It was right after we broke up you know? Before we became friends again, and I should have told you, I'm sorry. But I was hurt and I just…needed to get you out of my head."

Ashley turned away sad, dejected. She understood why he did it, but to Madison of all people, it still left her with a bitter taste in her mouth. It left her angry.

_Oh fuck it._

She turned back around and kneed Aiden right in the groin as hard as she could. He fell to his knees with a loud groan.

"I'm sorry Aiden. I'm sure I'll feel really bad about that tomorrow but," she paused and reached up to touch the bruise beginning to form above her eye, "but right now, I really feel like I did the future a favor."

- - - - - - - - - - -

She ended up being suspended from school for three weeks, and she knew she was lucky. She was also lucky that her mom was back to not caring. The only bad part was that due to being in trouble all day, and a quick stint with the school councilor to discuss her "anger issues", she had missed Spencer. She had to drive to her house and do all this in front of whatever family members might happen to be home.

Ashley was pissed. She had been wrong, none of it was out of her system yet.

She stood outside Spencer's window for a few minutes, pacing, trying to collect her thoughts. She needed to forget about Madison, forget about Aiden, focus on nothing but Spencer. But she couldn't help but wonder why Spencer hadn't told her Madison had dropped a few other secrets into Spencer's ear.

"Spencer!" she finally called out. "Spencer Carlin! Spencer Pain-in-my-ass Carlin! Get to your window now."

Her blonde beauty finally appeared. "What about my ass?"

"Spencer, are you dressed?"

Spencer looked mighty confused but she answered, "Yes."

"Spencer, am I fully dressed?"  
"As far as I can tell, yes."

"Am I touching you at all?"

"No. But you I think you're undressing me with your eyes."

"I'm being serious."

"Okay, no, you're not touching me."

"Right. Then Spencer Carlin, I wish for you to know that I love you. Now get down here so I can yell at you."

Spencer pouted. "I was kinda hoping for a John Cusack _Say Anything_ boom box moment but I guess that will have to do. Except you kinda ruined the moment with that whole yelling at me thing."

Ashley went to the front door and waited. The door opened and Spencer peaked her head out. "Hello."

"Hello," Ashley responded.

Spencer frowned suddenly, getting a look at Ashley's head. "Ouch."

"Yeah, I fell."

"Right into Madison's fist I'm sure."

Ashley grinned. "Yeah, but clumsy girl fell into mine a good four or five times. So you heard huh?"

Spencer rolled her eyes. "It's not everyday the head cheerleader gets her ass kicked. It should be, but it isn't."

"You're not angry?"

"Well, I sorta am. But since apparently you've got some beef with me at the moment as well, let's just say we're even."

"I'm afraid I can't do that Spence. I need to know what else Madison told you about me. And I need you to invite me inside, cause I've had a tiring day and I want to sit down."

"Oh, right," Spencer led them both to the living room, sitting down on the couch and hugging a pillow, her blue eyes searching Ashley's. "It doesn't matter what Madison told me."

"Not according to your reaction yesterday at the beach."

"I was surprised. I thought Madison was full of shit is all. I was off guard, not only by when you said it but that you did. I'm sorry. Does it feel like we've been saying that a lot to each other lately?"

"Yeah, you took the words right out of my mouth. But I'm sorry too."

"Okay, so we're both sorry. We cool now?"

"I'm always cool."

Spencer threw her pillow at Ashley's head and stuck out her tongue. "So, you want to go upstairs and make out?" she asked.

"Yes…wait…no…yes…is this a trick, some kind of test?" Ashley asked, trying to find the loophole, she came here thinking they were in trouble already, and after being suspended and Spencer was already thinking physical.

Spencer merely raised her eyebrows and waited for an answer.

Ashley looked around the house.

"It's just us for at least an hour," Spencer informed her.

"You're just trying to get me to stop asking about Madison aren't you?"  
"Well it is killing the mood." Spencer responded standing and walking towards the stairs. She turned back around and gave a seductive smile. "Coming?"

"Almost, yeah." Ashley responded, following the girl, watching the view the whole way.

"Wait," Ashley suddenly had a question, "you know how I feel, what about you? How do you feel about me?"

Spencer shrugged, "Meh," she said with a wink. Ashley could see all the answer she needed in her eyes.

"Come on Ashley, hurry up, my body isn't going to stimulate itself…although actually…"

"Whoa there, wait for me tiger!"


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own SoN or it's characters.

Author's Note: An extra long chapter, so leave some extra love. You know, because you love me.

* * *

**

* * *

Chapter 10**

It slowly began to dawn on Ashley that despite being the violent one (as Madison had dubbed her) and the veteran lesbian, she was clearly the bitch in her relationship. She had no idea how it happened. She was used to cracking the whip but instead suddenly she was running around constantly trying to please Spencer.

_Daaaamn. Love turns you into a pussy._

Of course every time Ashley would begin to get worked up about her new role, she would think of Spencer's smile, picture the girl's typical head tilt and just melt again.

_I am so pathetic._

It was Friday, only a few days of Ashley's sentence had passed and she was already bored out of her mind. There were only so many movies she could watch, only so many daydreams she could have of Spencer, only so many fights with her mom before it all became too much. She didn't want to go anywhere far without Spencer so she always stayed close to home and waited until she got her usual call after school. This afternoon though, there was a knock on her front door. Ashley excitedly ran to the door, expecting Spencer, but instead opening it up to see Paula.

Ashley quickly slammed the door surprised. _Fuuuuuck! You idiot! _she scolded herself, quickly opening it again.

"Sorry about that Mrs. C. I thought you were a salesperson or a Jehovah's Witness, you have no idea how many we get around here. So what brings you to the bordello?"

Paula visibly flinched at her words and Ashley gave herself a point on her mental chalkboard.

"This won't take long," Paula finally said.

"Okay, but if you're going to kill me, please don't make it messy. My mother hates to have the pay the maids for overtime. Would you like to come in?"

Paula actually looked perturbed by the offer. "No. I just want you to stay away from my daughter."

_You're like a broken record woman._

"I'm afraid I can't do that Mrs. C," Ashley said seriously. "See, we go to the same school, we have the same friends…well, friend…even the same enemies. And there's something else…oh what was it? Right, just the fact that I'm head over heels in love with her."

Paula went white and looked like she was about to faint.

_Oh great, saving Spencer's homophobic mother, the last thing on my list of things I wanted to do today._

"Be cool Mrs. C!"

Paula flinched again and collected herself, pulling her purse close to her side. "I just wanted to come here and appeal to you. I see I was wrong in assuming you would want what's best for Spencer. May God save your soul, Ashley. I will do everything in my power to save my daughter's."

As Paula turned to walk away Ashley called after her, "Honestly Paula, you're the least of my worries."

Paula turned back around. "You might want to rethink that. I moved up here, and I have the power to move away."

_The bitch is back folks!_ Ashley laughed to herself. _Why do we even pretend to respect each other?_

"Paula, as far as I can tell you've been kicked out of your own home. You're power doesn't worry me in the slightest. Hell, at this point your husband likes me better than he likes you. Now please, get off my property, this is harassment."

_Hmmm, I wonder if that could work on my own mother…_

Without another word Paula walked away in a huff, again giving Ashley the middle finger.

"You're a damn sucky Christian!" the brunette yelled.

Closing the doorAshley felt her cell phone vibrate. This time is was the Carlin she was hoping for. "Hey baby, your mom was just here!"

"Oh fuck me."

"I've been trying!"

"What did she want?"

"The usual, fire and brimstone, stay away from my daughter, blah blah blah. But this time she left the cross at home. I feel honored. But enough about your mom. It's Friday, what are we doing tonight?"

"I want to go dancing, and then, maybe if things are romantic enough, we can go back to your house and have some after hours activities."

Ashley had to laugh at Spencer's naïve way of putting things. "In other words, if I play things right I'm finally going to get lucky tonight. You know Spence, we could just skip going out, all the dancing that I want to do involves being naked."

"You're such a horndog."

"You wouldn't have me any other way baby. I'll pick you up tonight."

* * *

When arriving at their usual hangout, Ashley could not take her eyes off Spencer. Ashley had ended up wearing a black halter dress, the deep neckline and open back leaving little to the imagination. She had wanted Spencer to be thinking about what little she couldn't see all night. But it was Spencer's outfit that ended up taking everyone's breath away. It was simply a light blue low back halter dress but it was the way it fit her that made Ashley want to rip it off her body. It was practically a second skin, fitting in all the right places, highlighting certain features, and causing drool to actually slip out of Ashley's mouth.

"Ashley, you're still staring," Spencer said shyly.

"Doll, everyone has been staring since you walked in. I have to be careful or someone might try to steal you from me tonight."

Spencer grinned and kissed Ashley's cheek. "Not going to happen," she whisper finding them a table.

As she sat down Ashley saw Madison out of the corner of her eyes. She was talking with two girls who looked vaguely familiar. When Madison caught Ashley watching a grin crossed her face. Ashley did not like the look of that grin.

Madison walked over, the two familiar girls in tow. As they got closer Ashley realized she did in fact know the girls. In a very biblical sense. Although their names were nowhere in her memory.

_Oh, hell in a hand basket!_

"Hey Ashley! You remember Gina and Sharon right?" Madison asked, feigning innocence.

Ashley shot a quick look at Spencer, mouthing "I'll tell you everything later." To the girls she said aloud, "Long time, no see."

One of the girls giggled. _Which are you again? _Ashley thought racking her brain for some memory. She noticed everyone watching her, waiting for her to speak.

"Obviously not long enough though. This is my girlfriend, Spencer. Let's play find the keyword in that sentence!" Ashley knew she was sounding pretty dumb, but she was desperate for some reprieve in the situation. "And uh, girlfriend Spencer, meet Gina and Sharon."

Spencer reached out to shake hands but Madison grabbed her wrist. "Oh honey, I wouldn't do that, you don't know where they've been. Oh, wait, now I guess you do."

Ashley looked around desperately for something to throw at Madison's smug face. She would have simply leapt across the table but the dress she was wearing wouldn't stand for it, and no one was getting a free show except Spencer.

Madison still had her hand on Spencer. "Spence, let's take a walk and leave Ashley to catch up with her old friends," she suggested.

Ashley scoffed. "Go fuck yourself Madison."

"No. I want to talk to Madison actually," Spencer surprised everyone by saying. Ashley felt her heart sink. She was about to protest and beg to explain but Spencer leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, her lips calming her in an instant. "I'll be back in a minute."

Ashley watched the two walk away, her wish of being a fly on the wall for that conversation quickly turning into a full blown fantasy.

_Spencer's right. I am a horndog._

Ashley was so wrapped up in her girlfriend she failed to notice Gina and Sharon helping themselves to chairs.

"No, please, sit down," Ashley said sarcastically. Now that Spencer wasn't around, she had no intention of trying to be nice.

"Ashley, you never called me back," Gina…Sharon…said with a pout.

"Yeah, way to get the hint," Ashley replied with a thumbs up.

"So you're saying I was a one night stand?"

"You don't pick up chicks in a bar and hope for a substantial relationship."

"I'll bet all girls are simply a one night stand to a tramp like you."

_Someone's getting a bit testy. I must be even better at pleasing girls than I thought._

"I got four nights actually," the second girl finally threw in.

_And I still don't remember your name! _

"Hey, I know!" Ashley began, going into problem solver mode. "You two are both here for a hookup right?"

"Threesome!"

Ashley smacked the girl upside the head, pointing in the direction Spencer had gone. "Girlfriend! Spencer!" _Did I always go for the idiots or something?_

"Foursome!"

"Look, why don't you two just go do each other?"

The quiet one spoke up again, "We could make a threesome worth your while."

Ashley just cut to the chase, "I'll double whatever Madison is paying you if you just leave me the fuck alone. Don't get me wrong, you two were great for what I needed at the time. At least I assume, since honestly neither of you were apparently that memorable. Anyway, I'm happy with Spencer. And I'm not looking for anything, or anyone, else. Ever."

The testy one jumped in, "Yeah, cute, whatever, $200 upfront and we're gone."

Ashley glared.

_Oh Madison. You are going to wish you had saved some money for the nose job you're going to need when I get through with you.

* * *

_

"Spencer, I must say I'm glad you're seeing the light. I know we've had our issues in the past, but I'm just looking out for your best interest…"

"Shove it Madison," Spencer interrupted the cheerleader. They had walked outside to get some fresh air, Spencer letting Madison talk until the door finally shut behind them. "Cut the bullshit. We both know you're just out to hurt Ashley. What I want to know is why."

"What's it feel like Spencer? To be just another notch on her bedpost?"

"Madison, there may be a long line before me, but I am the last line. Ashley and I have what some call a relationship. You might be unaware of what that actually means, what with your hopping from one basketball player to the next, but it means I'm not going to go home and tear up our pictures just because Ashley has a past."

"And quite a sordid one at that. Doesn't it bother you Spencer?"

"Always a lover, never loved. Doesn't it bother you Madison?"

"Allow me to let you in on a little secret country bumpkin. In LA everything is a show. The big lights, the noises, the constant movement, and yes even the people, they're all hiding something. It's all fake. This is not some fairytale. You have no just met your soul mate, this isn't destiny at its best. You are simply another girl."

Spencer grabbed Madison's arm in a tight grip. "Maybe this isn't about Ashley. Maybe this is about me. Do you secretly want me Madison? You did date Aiden after all, and there is a pattern among the girls he's been with."

Madison desperately tried to break free from Spencer's grasp. "Oh, wouldn't that be so convenient? Turns out I was just jealous because I wanted you all for myself. How after school special of you Spencer. Get over yourself."

With a shove and a glare Spencer released Madison. "If you don't stop messing with me and my girlfriend you're going to need even heavier makeup to cover your bruises. And that's a promise." With that she walked back inside to find Ashley.

* * *

Ashley watched as Spencer, head held high, walked back to their table.

"So, about those girls," the blonde began to ask, "exes?"

"Not exactly," Ashley sighed. "How much trouble am I in?"

Spencer faked shock. "Not exactly exes? You mean you slept with them? You aren't a virgin saving yourself for me? Well, hell. That just tears it then." Getting serious she added, "Look Ashley, everyone has a past, even little ol' me. That's what makes them interesting."

Ashley let out a laugh, relieved more than she would like to admit. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Saved me from being a cheerleader with Madison."

"Speaking of, I guess you're not going to tell me what happened between you and Madison again."

"Want to make out?" Spencer asked with a grin.

"Yes!" Ashley said excitedly. Then she slapped herself in the forehead, "Ugh, I am so your bitch."

Spencer frowned at that. "We talked about the usual. You are Satan, I should leave you to be miserable, and then I threatened her. Now kiss me Davies."

Ashley leaved over and caught those lips with her own. She poured everything into the kiss, trying to let Spencer know she wanted no one else ever again. When they pulled apart Spencer sighed contently, her lips slightly parted.

Ashley never wanted to look at anything else. "Have I told you lately how much I love your lips?"

"It might have come up, but I wouldn't mind hearing it again."

"I," Ashley gave Spencer a quick peck on the lips, "love," another kiss, "your," another kiss, but this time Spencer held Ashley's head in place, not letting her move away.

Because Ashley had been speaking she didn't have the appropriate air supply. She pretty quickly began to crave some oxygen. Eventually, and thankfully before she passed out, Spencer let go.

"Do you feel that? The trying to catch your breath, the room slightly spinning, feeling a tad lightheaded? That's how I feel every time you're even near me Ashley. You are so not my bitch. I am so crazy in love with you," Spencer told the brunette.

Ashley grinned like crazy and began to giggle, fearing she'd never be able to stop.

"But Madison showing up totally guaranteed I'm not getting lucky tonight didn't it?" she asked between laughter.

Spencer began to laugh as well, "Oh, totally."

Ashley grabbed the girl into a hug, their bodies fitting together perfectly, their warmth feeding the other. "I can live with that."


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. And I'm poor.

Author's Note: Ask and ye shall receive! Well, better late than never right? Right? Sorry!

* * *

**Chatper 11**

The next morning Spence awoke to her cell phone ringing right by her head. After a few moments of confusion she remembered falling asleep to Ashley's pleads to come back to her house and spend the rest of the next day in bed. If Spencer had had any more strength she would have, but as it was she fell asleep whispering promises of days to come.

She grinned and opened her phone with a loving sigh, "Hey baby."

There was a long pause as Spencer began to panic, then a voice definitely not belonging to Ashley answered. "Well at least this means you two didn't spend last night together."

Spencer cringed and let go a string of curses in her head. Slowly sitting up she ran her hand through her bed hair. "Yep, just keep looking for the positive side of things Mom."

Spencer was struck with the grateful realization that she had fallen asleep before the inevitable phone sex that last night's conversation with Ashley had been headed towards. There was no way she could speak to her mom on the same phone ever again.

"So what do you want Mom?"

"I would like you to come visit me this afternoon, with your brother's of course. I'm staying at my friend's apartment. Clay knows how to get here. I…I really miss you."

Spencer felt her heart clench. She missed her mom as well, and she knew she would end up going, but she couldn't help but ask, "Guy friend?"

Spencer heard her mom sigh, "Actually no, although I am welcome to have friends who are male. But I knew it would be awkward for you and your brothers so I found a room with one of the nurses. Female nurse."

"Sure mom. I'll stop by, but please promise me we won't…"

"That's great sweetie! I'll see you soon!" her mom interrupted, punctuating the end of her sentence with a dial tone.

"…argue about me and Ashley. Thanks mom, I love you too," Spencer informed said dial tone. Hanging up the phone she headed towards the shower to wake herself up.

After her shower, wrapped only in a towel, Spencer found herself desperately trying to find the appropriate clothing to impress her mother.

_If I can play this right, maybe she won't be so disappointed in me. Why do all my clothes seem excessively slutty all of a sudden?_

Her cell phone ringing interrupted her thoughts. This time she made sure to check who it was before answering. "Hey, I'm naked."

"Daaaamn, you know how to wake a girl up Spence! But are you really or is this some cruel joke?"

Spencer looked down at her towel and then with a shrug dropped it, and continued to search for clothing. "Yes, now I am."

_Great, in two seconds I go from trying to impress my mom to stripping for my girlfriend over the phone. I've been spending a little too much time with a certain brunette beauty._

"That's so hot. You're coming over here today right? No, scratch that, you stay where you are, exactly as you are, and I'll be over before you even know it. Seriously."

"I have a better idea. How about tonight I come over to you and I promise you your own personal strip tease. Or maybe I'll even let you take my clothes off. Where's the fun in me being already naked?"

Spencer laughed as Ashley's breath caught. "Oh, believe me, there's a lot of fun in it. You better not be teasing me Spencer Carlin, because I don't know if you've noticed it but you are a natural tease, even though I want you like it's no one's business," she finally managed to say, stumbling over her words.

Spencer laughed again. Yes, she knew she teased Ashley relentlessly, but this time was different. She meant what she had told Madison, she wanted to be Ashley's last. She wanted to be Ashley's everything.

"I mean it Ash," she said softly. "Tonight, you, me, and nothing else in between."

"I have to go shower," Ashley said suddenly, "or something. Anything. I need to get off…the phone! I need to get off the phone, I will see you tonight," she finished up and once again Spencer was left with a dial tone.

"Doesn't anyone end a phone conversation with 'bye' anymore?" Spencer wondered out loud pulling a button down oxford shirt and black skirt out of her drawers.

_Yes! The perfect conservative outfit to impress mom. And catholic school girl enough to impress Ashley. I am great at this multitasking thing!_

The drive to her mom's temporary (or so Spencer kept telling herself, because really, they are the Brady's and everything will work out in the end) apartment was an awkward one. Glen was his usual sullen self and Clay seemed jumpy. He kept glancing over at Spencer with an almost apologetic look on his face before looking away. Every time Spencer asked her brothers if things were okay she got the brush off.

"Oh yeah, no, things are fine. Don't even worry about it."

"I'm bypassing worried and heading straight into paranoid my friends."

If Spencer had nothing else to occupy her mind she would have put deeper thought into the odd behavior of her brothers, but as it was she allowed herself to slip deep into a fantasy involving Ashley and a hot tub.

It wasn't until they finally arrived that Spencer let her mind return to her current situation. Getting out of the car, she nervously straightened her skirt and messed with her hair. She was actually excited to see her mother and that hadn't happened since they had moved to LA. Maybe a little time apart was what everyone needed.

It was when her mom opened the door and invited them into the living room with a strange man sitting on the sofa that Spencer gave up ever trusting her mother again.

_You stupid, naïve fool! When will you learn! _she chastised herself.

"I have to say mom, your nurses are looking rather masculine these days," she said.

Paula looked surprised and then quickly jumped to defend herself, "Oh no, Spencer this isn't who I'm living with. This is Dave, he's here for you."

Finding that out made Spencer feel even worse. "Okay, I get that you don't want me to be with girls, but mom, setting me up? This guy looks to be about 50, no offense Dave, and I still have an age limit. And I'm happy with Ashley!" Spencer found her voice rising to a yell by the time she said her girlfriend's name.

Dave stood and reached out towards Spencer, "You're confused Spencer. We're all here because we love you, and you have a problem."

The world suddenly seemed to slam into Spencer as everything came to a jarring stop. She looked over at Clay who refused to meet her eyes and even Glen looked bothered by what was going on. Slowly this whole invite began to make sense.

"Are you saying we're having an intervention because of my sexual orientation?" Spencer whispered, feelings of betrayal removing all the sweetness that normally laced her voice. "Is that even possible?"

"It is rare," Dave agreed, "but your mom obviously cares about you very much, and she found my center…"

"Get out!" Spencer interrupted. She walked over to the front door, yanking it open. "Get out now! This is between me and my family. And if you don't leave, I will. You hear that mom? I will leave and Ashley will come get me, because she actually loves me, and I will never speak to you again."

After exchanging words with her mother Dave did leave, Spencer making sure the door did actually hit his ass on the way out. She was seething. She located the bathroom on her own and splashed cold water onto her face in hopes of cooling off. She actually felt her body might explode.

She opened the door to reveal Clay looking abashed. "I'm sorry Spence. She's my mom and…the Bible says it's wrong…I just didn't know what to do. But I shouldn't have done this to you."

Spencer just bit her lip feeling tears welling up in her eyes.

"And you should know that Glen doesn't really want to be here either, despite how it may seem. But you know Glen, he's self absorbed. He's worried about how other people might view him. He wanted to try his best to change your mind, but if he can't, he'll just start complaining about other ways we embarrass him. Do you know how long it took him to get over me being black? Like it's something we can control."

Spencer's head jerked up at "we" in the last sentence, desperately searching Clay's eyes for understanding.

"I really am sorry baby sister. Nobody deserves to be ambushed, least of all you," he finally whispered as she threw herself into his arms. He held her tight for a few minutes and then together they walked back into the living room.

"Spencer, that was very rude," Paula began.

"Just shut up mom. I'm tired of all this. What really is your problem with who I love? I've been trying to work it out and I just don't understand. I like to think it's not just because you don't want to see me happy."

"Don't be silly, I want all my children to be…"

Spencer just went on, ignoring her mother. "Is it because of the bible saying it's wrong? Because really, I've done a little looking into that. Did you know in that whole Lot debacle, he offers the villagers his daughter instead of the man they want? I mean what is that teaching me? Homosexuality bad but gang rape good?"

"There's actually more to the story then that, it's about…"

"And then don't even get me started on the hypocrisy! Doesn't the bible also say no to coveting thy…work's…doctor…or something? Don't covet mother!"

"I haven't coveted anything!"

"I'm not done yet, thanks. And you can't hang up on me this time," Spencer said, noticing Glen looking rather amused out of the corner of her eye. "And what is your problem?"

"I was just thinking I could really admire this take charge Spencer," her big brother said with a wink.

It threw Spencer off her tirade just long enough for Paula to finally get a word in. "I love you Spencer, you are my baby."

"Funny way of showing it."

"You just have no idea what this means Spencer, what being gay actually will do to your life. It's not a decision to just make because some girl thinks it would be fun. It's a scary and dangerous path to take, and a lot of people aren't going to like it. You're just going to be unhappy."

Spencer rubbed her eyes in frustration, _where to begin with that one._

"Look mom, first of all, it's not a decision like you're making it sound. I didn't just wake up one morning and say, 'what the hell? Today I'll be gay.' It's who I am. Ashley did nothing but be there for me when I realized it. She didn't even push me into anything, despite the crazy signals I gave her. And I know it's scary, it's me that it's actually happening to. And that's why I need my mother to be there for me. I need you to help me, not harm me."

Spencer walked over to her mom and took her hand, squeezing it. "And finally, I don't think you understand how unhappy I truly would be without Ashley in my life. I am in love with her."

Spencer could see her mother's heart break with those words. This was her mother's last day of the old Spencer. She had been trying so hard to hold onto the innocence and goodness Spencer used to represent to her. And Spencer felt sorry for her mother. If she could just overcome her homophobia they could mourn that girl together.

"I just can't condone this life Spencer," Paula finally said, her voice lifeless.

"I'm not asking you to right away. It will take time, I get that. I'm just asking you to stop actively trying to ruin my life. I am with Ashley. You don't like it, we don't have your permission, I understand that too. But I love her, and she loves me. You need to accept it or you can't be a part of my life. And I love you mom, I need you. But it's all up to you now."

She dropped her mother's hand and turned to her brothers. "That goes for you two as well. Now I would like someone to take me over to my girlfriend's house. Any takers?"

Glen and Clay looked at each other and shrugged. "I'll drive," Clay finally volunteered.

Glen frowned. "Hey, I thought we were having a moment of silent communication there. I'm in. And it's my car, I'm driving."

"Fine, but I get shotgun," Clay agreed.

Spencer followed behind her brothers as they left, still bantering. "Nothing ever phases you two does it?" she grinned. A giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Own nothing.

Author's Note: I'm sorry about changing the rating. I wanted to be safe rather than sorry. I hope everyone found the story okay. Also, I don't write "sexy" very well. So I do my best, hope I don't disappoint

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**Chapter 12**

While waiting for Spencer to arrive for the night Ashley cleaned her room. Her room honestly hadn't been that messy to begin with but she had to keep busy to keep her mind off of a soon-to-be-naked-in-her-bedroom-Spencer. Ashley went through everything in her head. She was prepared. She had brought up snacks and drinks so when Spencer arrived they wouldn't have to leave her room. She set out candles and even picked out a song. She didn't want to give Spencer any excuse to back out. Lastly Ashley put a chair in the middle of the room, _because I want Spencer to be able to reach me from all angles. _

Ashley was getting her striptease if it was the last thing she did.

That wasn't to say she wasn't freaking out about it. Just the thought of Spencer's body gliding over her own was enough to make Ashley's body tingle in excitement. And then she would slip off into her well worn Spencer fantasy and want to take care of that tingling herself. It was her goal though to wait for Spencer. She wanted to save it all for Spencer.

_Spencer is taking her damn time though. Think non-sexy thoughts…Paula…Dr. Phil…that greasy guy who's always trying to look down my shirt at the store…_

By the time Spencer burst into her room looking flushed, panting and angry Ashley had taken to watching medical shows on TV. She found nothing sexy about an open skull. But she found something very sexy about Spencer's outfit.

_Oooh, Sister Spencer, I've been a very very naughty girl._

"Are you okay?" she forced herself to ask.

"Ashley, I'm up here," Spencer informed the girl. She pulled back her hair into a ponytail and fanned herself, trying to get Ashley to look at her face.

"Mmmhmm, but I'm enjoying my view thanks," Ashley responded keeping her eyes glued to quick rise and fall of Spencer's chest.

_Striptease, striptease, striptease!_

"My mom tried to get me thrown into some Straight Camp Ashley!"

Ashley's attention snapped up to Spencer's face. "What?" she cried jumping up. "Do we have to get you out of here?"

"No, calm down. I was just trying to get your attention," Spencer calmed her, sitting down on the couch and pulling Ashley back down with her.

"Okay, color me confused. So your mom didn't try and ship you off?"

"No, she did, but took care of it. I drew a line. Because of you, because you make me stronger and feel so sure of myself. Because if you love me then I refuse to be any less than what you see," Spencer told her, reaching out to tuck a strand of Ashley's hair back.

Ashley suddenly felt shy but still proud of Spencer. She grinned and crinkled her nose, feeling there was really nothing she needed to say.

Spencer continues instead. "I just wish she could just love me enough to accept you as well. We're Spashley now, and I just wish she could be happy for me," Spencer's voice choked up at the end and Ashley took her in her arms and held her.

_Striptease, striptease, striptease! _

"I'm sorry baby," she held her tight for a few minutes, but then couldn't help but ask, "So how long do I have to comfort you before it wouldn't be too self absorbed of me to ask about my striptease?"

Spencer pulled out of her embrace laughing. "I did promise you something like that didn't I?"

Ashley put on her best puppy dog face and nodded.

"You know I've never done anything like this before right? I mean, I don't know how good I'll be at it."

"Spence, believe me, I've watched you move. You can do this."

"Also, let it be known that I dressed to see my mother today. There's no sexy underwear under this."

Ashley leaned in and gave Spencer a deep kiss, her tongue gently teasing her lips. Pulling away she said in a low voice, "Believe me, by the time you get to your underwear, I'll just want to rip off your body anyway."

Ashley jumped off the couch and started to light the candles. "You just relax Spence. I already think you're the sexiest thing on this planet. You won't disappoint me." She finished lighting the candles and dimmed the rest of the lights in the room. The last thing she did was start the music, putting Sade's "Please Send Me Someone to Love" on repeat.

"I picked a slow song so you could take your time and just be comfortable," Ashley said, but when she turned back around Spencer already had her eyes closed, swaying gently to the music. With eyes refusing to tear away from her body, Ashley found her chair and sat down with a moan.

Still with her eyes closed Spencer reached up and pulled the band out of her hair, letting the hair fall onto her shoulders. The blonde locks cascaded across her head, falling across her face only to be pushed away by a sleek hand. Ashley thought the candlelight made Spencer's hair look more beautiful than she had ever seen it.

Spencer opened her eyes and gave her a sweet smile, slowly swaying over and grabbing Ashley's hands. She put them on her hips, letting them feel the sway before closing her eyes again.

"I like this song," she whispered.

Ashley just swallowed and nodded though there was no way Spencer could have seen it. She tightened her hands on the hips in front of her and let herself feel the graceful movement. Ashley lost herself to the feeling of the material of the skirt that was the only thing between her hands and Spencer's flesh.

Eventually Spencer moved away and her hands slowly went to her shirt. Ashley caught her eyes and couldn't look away as she unbuttoned the top three buttons. Ashley felt herself grin like an idiot at the sight of Spencer's lacy bra. But then Spencer shook her head and her hands dropped down.

Ashley didn't have time to feel disappointed though as she realized those hands were now slowly pulling up her skirt and giving Ashley a very nice view of her shapely legs. When Spencer turned around and Ashley caught a quick glimpse of her ass, she thought she honestly died.

She cleared her throat. "You're losing the strip part of this striptease, Spence."

Spencer just winked at her, never once losing her flow. She shook her head and went back to unbuttoning her shirt so slowly Ashley felt she was losing her mind.

_Slow song! You had to give her a slow song? Bad idea there Ash. She will use this to her benefit._

When the shirt was finally unbuttoned, Spencer turned around again and slowly slid it down her shoulders. Ashley watched as silky smooth shoulders appeared, followed by an equally smooth and sexy back. The shirt fell to the floor and Spencer turned to face her. Ashley just soaked it all in…how her whole body just seemed to fit together, from the curves of her hips, to her stomach, to the curves of her breasts. In fact, her whole body seemed made for Ashley's hands. Or so her hormones were telling her.

As Spencer slowly walked towards Ashley her own hands traced from her still covered thighs up her body, covering her stomach sensually, slowly over her chest with a smile of satisfaction, and finally to her neck. Ashley desperately wished those were her hands. One hand then went to the same spot on Ashley's neck, her finger tips running down to the top of Ashley's breasts, and then back up as Spencer walked around behind Ashley's chair.

Ashley's dropped her head back with a moan, missing Spencer's touch just as much as the sight of her. A piece of material fell on Ashley's face and she pulled off to see it was the black skirt. With a grin of anticipation she watched as Spencer sauntered back into her view. Ashley felt her jaw drop but she had lost all ability to pick it up off the floor. Her stomach somersaulted in joy and she squeezed her legs together a bit.

As Spencer once again swayed and slowly spun in front of Ashley, Ashley just tried to memorize every bit of skin. She bit her lip as the flickering of the candles highlighted the girl's stomach. Her back and shoulders led right into the sleek neck Ashley already adored. And her legs, _oh god those legs_, led all the way up to the curve of her butt in such a way that Ashley wanted to travel them with her hands and tongue for the rest of her life. Spencer's lips were slightly parted and occasionally her tongue would dart out and moisten those lips. Ashley loved that tongue. And Spencer knew it.

_She is so cheeky! And if I could find my vocal chords I would tell her._

Spencer reached around Ashley's head and steadied her body on the chair then lifted on leg onto the chair. This left her body, and all of its assets, right in Ashley's eye line. Spencer took off her shoe and stocking, then shifted to do the same with the other foot, being sure to rub against Ashley as she did so. Ashley found herself uncomfortable in the chair all of a sudden. Her body was beyond her control and it was reacting to all that was Spencer. If she had been the one stripping there would have been no hiding her arousal, it was soaked through.

Spencer finally proceeded to sit in Ashley's lap, her lips finding Ashley's ear. "You haven't said anything in awhile."

"I think I might have swallowed my tongue."

Spencer's eyes found hers, clearly reflecting her own passion. "What?"

"Don't expect me to be coherent. You're sitting on my lap and clearly as turned on by this as I am. That makes my brain go bye bye."

Spencer threw back her head and laughed. It was the sweetest sound Ashley had ever heard.

"You know Ashley, you can touch me," she winked, taking Ashley's hands and following the path her own hands had taken earlier. Her thighs, this time up her back, then back around to her breasts. Ashley moaned with the realization that all of Spencer was as smooth as it looked.

With a gleam in her eye that Ashley had never seen before, Spencer pulled Ashley's shirt off.

"I know you're new at this, so maybe I should tell you that in a striptease you don't get to strip the other person."

"Shhhh," Spencer whispered, putting her finger tips to Ashley's lips. When Ashley opened her mouth again to say something more Spencer's lips silenced her this time.

Ashley's hands again found Spencer's back, this time without any help. She pulled her closer, feeling Spencer's skin rubbing against her own. Then her hands traveled down to her ass, squeezing and then pushing Spencer farther up onto her lap. Spencer's hands went running through Ashley's hair and then slowly down her back. Ashley felt her nails as they lightly scratched her. The kiss deepened with Spencer's tongue moistening Ashley's lips. With a moan Ashley allowed her to probe deeper.

When she pulled back Ashley almost cried out. The look in her eyes must have expressed her disappointment because Spencer just smiled again, her gorgeous eyes dilated, and said, "Shhh, just let me love you."

She then began to rub her hands over Ashley's upper body. From her shoulders to the tips of her fingers. From the base of her head to where her jeans were. They even slipped under her bra, caressing her breasts, finger running in between, but expertly only circling Ashley's nipples. Spencer's hands gently woke up all of the nerve endings in Ashley's body. Parts of Ashley's body that she had never even used for sex before felt alive and ready for Spencer's touch. Her eyes drifted shut of their own accord and her head fell back in bliss.

Spencer took that as an offer and her lips found corner of her jaw and slowly kissed down to her pulse point, sucking at it for a minute. Then those lips continued their path downward to Ashley's heart. Spencer turned her head to rest against that spot, apparently listening to Ashley's heartbeat. She brought Ashley's hand to her lips, kissing her wrist at the pulse point before taking the tip of her index finger into her mouth and gently flicking at it with her tongue.

_Am I drooling? I think I might be drooling._

"You know that's yours right?" Ashley managed to croak out. "My heart I mean."

"I know," Spencer said back, her voice thick. Ashley never would have been able to recognize that voice if she hadn't just watched the girl speak.

When Spencer stood up those nerve ending felt the loss that was almost painful. But then she reached out her hand, "Take me to bed Ashley."


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Me no own.

Author's note: Okay, beware, there is sex! Don't say you weren't warned. Also, for anyone who happens to read either of my other two SoN fics, there will be updates for both of them this weekend as well. Gasp! I know!

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**Chapter 13**

Heaven was Spencer's lips. And if there was a place beyond heaven, an even better land, Ashley was sure that would be Spencer's tongue. Ashley felt herself pass through that nameless place as Spencer kissed down her body , tongue slipping down between her breasts, kissing around her ribcage, and ending up at her hip bone, giving it a light nip with her teeth causing Ashley to gasp.

"I'm sorry," Spencer said giving Ashley a look of apology.

"Oh no, you're doing nothing wrong baby."

Being with Spencer was like nothing Ashley had ever experienced before. Spencer was nervous and unsure of herself in a way Ashley would have found adorable if she wasn't already a puddle. Spencer also moved slow, reveling in even the smallest mole on Ashley's skin. As it was they were still in their underwear, bras having been discarded only a few moments before. Damien Rice now pumped through Ashley's speakers, the disc almost having been played once through.

Yet, despite all that, Spencer knew Ashley better than anyone else who had ever been in her bed and therefore brought her more pleasure. She would catch the slightest catch in Ashley's breathing and keep doing what she was doing. She explored Ashley's body in a way that made Ashley feel untarnished, new again. Pure and innocent in a way she hadn't been in a very long time.

Spencer's lips behind her knee, a notoriously ticklish spot, brought Ashley back down to earth. She sat up and pulled the blonde up against her body. She held her tight, feeling their flesh touching, and feeling aroused by the younger girls perfect breasts pushing against her own. She rubbed their noses together before putting her cheek against Spencer's and slowly they began to breathe as one.

"Are you sure?" she whispered.

She could feel Spencer smile against her cheek. She felt goose bumps along the areas on Spencer's back where her hands trailed.

"You're like the ocean," Spencer finally said and Ashley felt her warm breath pass by her hear, causing her to shiver.

"Are you saying I cover most of the earth? Or that I'm big and blue?"

Spencer laughed and Ashley felt it reverberate through her body more than anything. Spencer wrapped her arms and legs tighter around Ashley as if trying to consume her. Ashley simply breathed in her scent.

_She smells like…good memories. She smells like the first day of spring._

"No. I mean I feel like I could get swept away by you. I could easily just drown in you. I feel your love wash over me and it's just never-ending. I know, it probably doesn't make any sense. Of course there's always the literal meanings."

Spencer licked up Ashley's neck and whispered into her ear, "You do taste salty."

She slipped one hand down in between their bodies hand dipping into Ashley's underwear. "And you are wet."

"I'm so taking that as a yes."

Ashley deftly laid Spencer back down on the bed, making sure this time she was the one on top. She couldn't help the bubble of laughter that erupted from her mouth. She was happy. She was so damn happy. The laughter was apparently contagious and Spencer began to giggle as well.

_This is how it was always meant to be. _

Ashley reached down and pulled off Spencer's underwear, the girl lifting her hips to help. Ashley felt lightheaded and she bit her lip to remain in control. It was Spencer's first time with a girl, and she needed to make it be the most amazing experience possible.

Ashley spread herself over Spencer using her whole body to feel the girl beneath her. Her knee pressed itself up in between Spencer's legs and Ashley couldn't help but close her eyes for a brief second at Spencer's obvious arousal. She felt Spencer's body tremble beneath her as she planted soft kisses on her shoulder. Normally she loved having this power over another person, but with Spencer it wasn't about the power, it was about the emotion behind every little touch.

Finally Ashley slipped down Spencer's body and her mouth found Spencer's breast. Her tongue traveled the milky skin, teasing the girl, getting her back for the striptease. But Spencer's throaty moans made her lose her playful mood. She licked her nipple and the blew across it, glancing at Spencer's face to watch her reaction.

Spencer's eyes were closed and she had the slightest grin across her face, looking at peace. She opened her eyes and caught Ashley staring at her after she repeated the lick blow maneuver on the other breast. Her eyes were brilliant as her hand pulled Ashley's head back down to her.

_Well, yes ma'am. She gets more forward by the minute._

Spencer then grabbed Ashley's hand and intertwined their fingers, bringing it up to her mouth and kissing each knuckle. Ashley began to kiss around Spencer's nipple before finally taking it into her mouth and sucking softly, while simultaneously caressing the lonely one with her hand. Spencer gently bit Ashley's other hand with a moan causing Ashley to chuckle.

"You are a biter aren't you? Should I be worried?"

Spencer just gave her a look that clearly indicated there should be less talking and began to grind on Ashley's knee still located conveniently between her legs. Ashley's mind immediately went to a very happy place.

She sat up and positioned herself where she could kiss the bottom of Spencer's foot.

"I'm in love with every inch of you Spencer."

"Yeah, that's why your eyes haven't left the place where you knee just was," Spencer responded, clearly trying to be seductive but only succeeding in making Ashley laugh at her, still unabashedly staring at her goal.

Spencer's other foot found it's way to Ashley now, rubbing her through her underwear. It caught Ashley by surprise and she almost felt herself release, her body already so ready from the rest of Spencer's ministrations. Ashley slowly felt her power slipping away.

"Wait!" Spencer suddenly stopping her movement.

_Oh no no no no!_

"Oh no no no no!" Ashley cried to the ceiling.

"No, I just wanted to point out that you're still over dressed…" Spencer said with a smirk, her eyes shooting down Ashley's otherwise naked body , stopping to lick her lips at Ashley's hard nipples, and then finally dropping to the black underwear. She bit her lip and looked back up into Ashley's dark eyes.

_She may not be able to be seductive with her words but her eyes make me melt every time. _

But still, the break had given Ashley time to collect herself. And this time Ashley wouldn't allow the power to be taken away from her. It was Spencer's time.

"You're right, but there's time for that later. I got the striptease, you get first pleasure."

She kissed down from Spencer's foot, slowly spreading her legs apart. When she got close she could smell Spencer. She could feel Spencer. She stopped only once looking back at the girl she loved. Spencer's eyes reflected want, need, desire, but also fear.

"I love you," Ashley assured her with one last kiss to her inner thigh before burying herself in Spencer.

As her tongue slowly and expertly explored, Ashley had to hold onto Spencer's trembling body. A moan and bucking of the hips encouraged Ashley to probe deeper. Her hands gripped Spencer's hips tighter to keep her from moving turning her head occasionally to kiss the insides of those smooth thighs. Finally she brought her tongue to Spencer's sensitive spot.

By this point Ashley was only still going on autopilot. She was so wrapped up in Spencer that everyone one of her senses were going into overload. The feel of Spencer's smooth skin against her hands felt like it was going to forever burn her palms. The moans of desire that left Spencer's mouth would forever be etched in Ashley's brain. The very taste of Spencer would be sure to frequent Ashley's thoughts in even the un-sexiest of moments..

Ashley let her hands leave the hips and splay across a sexy stomach. Spencer's hands once again found hers.

_Holding my hand has always been a way for her to express how much she cares about me, and even now she reassures me._

And then in a moment of absolute vulnerability Spencer gave herself to Ashley completely and lets the girl take her over the edge. Her body shook with a surprising force and she said Ashley's name in a way that was sure to be in the brunette's dreams for the rest of her life.

Ashley slowly brought herself back up Spencer's body, still taking her time, not wanting to rush any of this. When she got up to Spencer's face she stared into the stormy eyes. "Are you okay?"

Spencer's eyes seemed to take a second to focus, Ashley's words pulling her from some dream state. "Just hold me. Hold onto me and don't let me float away. I want to ride this feeling out forever."

Ashley obeyed willing, arms tight around the younger girl, putting their foreheads together. Spencer's hand began to stroke Ashley's face, still trembling slightly.

"I think I hear music playing," she said dreamily, a look of bliss on her face.

"Yeah, that would be the CD still playing, baby."

"Fine, I hear bells then. Try not to ruin my moment, Ash."

"That good huh?" Ashley asked, because teasing is what they did, it was what they had always done. And now they were even closer, but they were still Ashley and Spencer. They would still make each other laugh.

"Is it always like that with a girl?" Spencer asked, pulling her head away slightly so she could stare into Ashley's eyes.

"No. But it's always like that with me," Ashley grinned.

Spencer let out a loud laugh that seemed out of place all of a sudden, and yet it still warmed Ashley's heart. "You're so cocky."

"And yet so lacking in that piece of anatomy."

"So, am I going to get breakfast in bed again? Like the last time I spent the night…" Spencer trailed off to put on her best pouty face.

Ashley snorted. "Hell no! That was the 'I'm trying to get into your pants' breakfast in bed. It makes me look sweet and thoughtful and makes you want me all the more."

Spencer eyed her own naked body. "I didn't wear any pants. But you're welcome to get into my skirt. I think it's somewhere over there," she replied, her hand gesturing randomly around the room.

Ashley ran her hands down Spencer's back and grabbed her ass. "No thanks, I've got what I want right here," she purred.

Spencer sat up and moved so she was straddling Ashley. She stretched herself up reaching for the ceiling and giving Ashley a view of her in all her naked glory. Ashley kept her hands on Spencer's waist, not wanting to let go ever, afraid she might wake up and it will all have been a dream. A crazy, sexy, dream. Ashley felt Spencer still wet against her stomach and groaned when the stretching hands came back down to begin to play with her breasts.

"You're really good at turning me on. I mean, I knew you were good at doing it inadvertently by simply breathing, but you're good at being naked and flaunting it…" Ashley said, hating that her thoughts were no long connecting in her brain.

_You're neurons are misfiring Davies! Abort, abort mission! Stop speaking!_

"Mmmm, well then I guess you don't know everything about me," Spencer said with wink, leaning in to start sucking on the lobe of Ashley's ear.

"Well, I know you let out a high pitched whimper when I use my tongue and finger to…"

"Hey!" Spencer said with a laugh and light slap against Ashley's shoulder.

"Oh! And I know you have a mole…"

Spencer flopped off of Ashley, "Okay, I get it, you know me soooo well. But where were we?" She began to pull on Ashley's underwear. "I want to touch you," she added with a low growl.

Ashley found this forward Spencer to be exciting. Another side of this girl she loved. But she still couldn't help but tease, "Why Spencer Carlin! So forward! What has gotten into you?"

"You," the blonde said simply, her eyebrows dancing. "And I plan on returning the favor. Now get with the naked, Davies. I ain't getting any younger."

_Yes ma'am!_


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry for the delay! I have another chapter written, but I really wanted some kind of in between chapter. And I took the time to write it. I hope no one minds. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews!

I still don't own anything to do with SoN.

* * *

**Chapter 14**

The body in Ashley's arms groaned and shifted, and a hand from that body suddenly landed on Ashley's thigh causing the brunette's body to jolt awake.

_Hello there._

Spencer's hand began to make slow circles on her thigh but the blonde appeared to still be sleeping, presenting Ashley with a conundrum. Should she risk waking the girl by moving her hand or simply enjoy the moment as god appeared to intend it? She bit her bottom lip hard to hold back a moan as the milky hand move a little farther up. Her eyes shut of their own accord.

Suddenly the supposedly sleeping body giggled and Ashley opened her eyes to peer into sparkling blue ones.

"Did you really think I was about to take advantage of you in my sleep?"

"I thought maybe Santa was delivering a little early this year."

"And what makes you think you've been a good girl?"

"Well, it could have been all the screams of 'Ashley, you're so good' from last night."

"Ashley! That was a horrible impression of me. My voice is not that high."

"Last night it was," Ashley said with a smirk. "And I can't help but notice you don't deny those were your words."

The hand once again crept higher on the leg, dangerously close to the heat Ashley was sure she was now radiating. "You're right, I can't deny it. But if we're recalling things said last night, I have to admit I was a bit shocked by your dirty side…"

"If you start repeating those back to me it will be too hot for me to handle, baby. And I will seriously take you right here, right now."

Spencer laughed again and moved her hand off the thigh causing Ashley's face to drop until Spencer helped herself to the lips in front of her. "Mmmmm," Spencer moaned into the kiss. Ashley loved the feeling of her lips vibrating against Spencer's.

Spencer finally pulled away licking her lips. "I have to shower," she said matter of factly, her hand sneaking around to smack Ashley's hip.

"Perfect! Me too!" Ashley grinned. "I'll join you."

"No. Shower alone time," Spencer replied shaking her finger.

"Noooo, but baby!" Ashley cried, burying her head into Spencer's neck. She felt Spencer's breath catch at the contact and grinned. She allowed her lips to explore the exposed area. Her hand slipped up Spencer's side and cupped her breast.

Unfortunately the contact didn't have the desired effect. "Ashleeey! I need to shower, seriously. You're such a horny teenager."

"Well you weren't complaining about that last night," Ashley said with a snort.

Spencer sighed and stroked the dark hair on the head still buried in her neck. "You know I want to. I want you so bad, even now, really every second of every day. But I need to get home soon. And I don't want to start something we won't have time to finish." She slowly untangled herself from Ashley and walked in all her glorious nakedness across the room to put on one of Ashley's robes.

Ashley could understand Spencer's reasoning, but the sight of her beautiful and graceful girlfriend made her ask one more time, "So, no shower sharing?" Her voice sounded pathetically desperate even to herself.

"No," Spencer said but then paused looking over her shoulder. "But you're welcome to watch."

Ashley only paused long enough to thank god for his kinky side before jumping out of bed, throwing on sweat pants and a tank top, to follow the blonde.

* * *

Ashley couldn't keep her eyes off the running water as it cascaded down Spencer's body. Her eyes would find one drop and follow it down every curve until finally it would slip into oblivion. The latest one had slid down Spencer's sleek neck, down between her breasts, and then over her stomach before settling in her bellybutton. Ashley desperately wanted to retrieve it. This was one of the most quixotic experiences in Ashley's life.

For the second time in 24 hours Ashley wanted to be a pair of hands.

Spencer seemed almost oblivious to the older girl's obvious admiration of her body. She slowly lathered herself in soap and looked up, eyes closed, into the water letting it rinse her, humming softly the whole time. Ashley found herself admiring how well put together Spencer's body was. Last night had been about exploring it. This morning was all about admiring it.

Ashley honestly believed the younger girl had forgotten about her presence until she filled her mouth with water from the shower and squirted it in Ashley's direction with a cheeky grin.

"I'm wet enough thanks," Ashley managed to say. She had the distinct impression that any moment she would slip into unconsciousness, and most likely crack her head on the floor. If life really were like a cartoon, she hoped little naked Spencer's would dance around her head.

"I never knew you were into this voyeur kind of thing," she added.

Spencer continued to grin. "I'm into anything as long as it's with you," she said with a wink. She then started to wash her hair, her arms raised high extenuating every curve.

_Remember that Ashley. Whatever you do, remember that,_ Ashley kept telling her already on overload brain.

"Should I be careful not to drop the soap?" Spencer asked, noticing the brunette's passion filled eyes. A very undignified and high pitched sound left Ashley's mouth.

_Two can play at this game Carlin._

"No touching you, right?" she asked.

Spencer nodded.

Ashley led her hand down the sweatpants she was wearing, "So then I'm permitted to touch myself, right?"

Spencer didn't say a word, but the look on her face gave Ashley her answer. They both stared at each other, one sitting and one standing under the water, both drinking in the other's passion and desire as Ashley's hand began to move. Spencer's eyes kept jumping from Ashley's eyes, to Ashley's lips, to Ashley's hand as if she wasn't sure where she wanted to be.

Ashley couldn't help but laugh as Spencer's hand managed to turn down the hot water without ever taking her eyes from Ashley. She couldn't help but lick her lips as Spencer's hand then unconsciously fluttered to her rest on her stomach. She couldn't help but moan as Spencer began to pant right along with her, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate.

As much as Ashley never wanted to look away from those now dark eyes, she couldn't help but lean her head back and close her own brown ones as she started to reach the end. Another hand slipped down her pants and intertwined with her fingers as she finally shattered into a million pieces.

Ashley opened her eyes gasping to see Spencer staring down at her with such possessiveness and love that she almost broke into tears with the weight of it all. She wanted to say something, but her voice was gone.

Spencer kissed her temple. "I wanted to be there. I always want to be there," she whispered into Ashley's ear.

Ashley was still trying to form words, but she had yet to fully collect herself from the experience. _I love you. I love you. _

This time Spencer kissed her on the lips, her tongue licking along the older girl's bottom lip. "I know," Spencer said into her mouth, "you love me."

Spencer pulled away and offered her hand to Ashley who accepted gratefully. Spencer then pulled her, clothes and all, into the shower with her.

_I so win!_ Ashley thought happily.

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Wow, I am so sorry to everyone. I realize I kept you all waiting and I have to send out my deepest thanks to those who are still hanging around waiting to read the next chapter. And a big thanks to those who kept reviewing and letting me know how much an update was wanted. This is for you.

Disclaimer: See all previous chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 15**

Ashley sat in her car tightly grasping Spencer's hand. She felt like she was five years old and the maid was telling her it was past time for her to clean up her favorite toys.

_No! No, I don't wanna!_

"And once again I find myself not wanting to let you go," she lamented into the blonde head resting on her shoulder. Her eyes stared down at their intertwined hands, feeling the soft skin beneath her fingertips. They fit together perfectly, even in this, the smallest of ways.

She felt empty as first Spencer's head left her shoulder and then she even pulled her hand away. But then those warm fingers were under Ashley's chin, lifting her head up to look into blue eyes.

Spencer tilted her head and grinned when their eyes finally met. "Come over for dinner. It should be soon enough considering how long we stayed in the shower. We'll only be apart for a couple of hours."

Ashley felt her face light up. "Okay." She leaned in and gave Spencer a long kiss. She couldn't help but moan when Spencer finally pulled away and left the vehicle. She couldn't help but laugh as Spencer awkwardly walked backwards to her front door, refusing to break eye contact until the last moment. She couldn't help but sigh as she finally drove home, a place only in name now that Spencer was no longer there.

Luckily the time flew for Ashley. Normally time away from Spencer dragged on slowly but between the time Ashley spent reflecting, _fantasizing_, about the previous night's events and getting ready for dinner, it felt like no time until she was ringing the Carlin's front doorbell.

Unfortunately the bubble of love and wonderment that had been sustaining her since Spencer had show up at her house last night was immediately popped as the door opened to reveal the spawn of Satan herself, Paula.

_Ahhhhh!_

"Ahh…hello, hey. Whoa. Mrs. C, I didn't expect to see you around," Ashley finally managed to sputter out.

"Clearly," Paula replied giving Ashley a once over. "Your mother let you leave the house dressed like that?"

Ashley glanced down at her usual form fitting outfit and raised an eyebrow. "Make no mistake Mrs. C. My mother would push me out of the house naked as long as it meant I wouldn't be home."

Paula said nothing back but Ashley began to feel her insides melting by the anger behind the older woman's eyes.

Suddenly the door slammed in Ashley's face and she heard angry hushed voices behind it. She stood staring at the door awkwardly for moment before deciding to just leave. _Before she releases the hounds of HELL!_ Just then the door opened again and a familiar hand grabbed her wrist dragging her into the house and quickly upstairs.

Spencer slammed her door and leaned against it with a low growl. "I am so sorry, I had no idea she would be here. And when I found out I made her promise she would be nice but clearly that meant nothing." Spencer's voice dropped and she began to mumble to herself and pace around the room.

"You could have called and warned me," Ashley said, still feeling slightly blindsided.

Spencer stopped pacing and stared at her feet. "I didn't think you'd still come," she said quietly.

Ashley was shocked by the sudden return of shy Spencer. After their night together Ashley had been sure they'd broken down a good many walls together. Spencer would flirt and she definitely instigated all kinds of touching. But throw Spencer back into a house with her mother and she would begin to question her worth yet again. No matter how often Spencer stood up to her mother it was still a few steps forward and then a quick sprint back.

Fortunately Ashley was more than willing to wait out the complicated dance and to do her best to remind her blonde bombshell of her worth. "So, what you're saying is that you really wanted to see me…" she said in a husky voice.

Spencer's head shot up and she looked confused by the change of pace for a second before a small smirk graced her face. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Ashley asked sauntering closer. "I think definitely. I think you can't keep your mind off of touching me," she ran her hands across her stomach, "or off of tasting me," she added licking Spencer's earlobe.

Spencer pulled back and the passion in her eyes made Ashley's knees tremble. But the corners of mouth were still turned up in a smirk. "Maybe," she repeated.

Ashley disengaged. "Okay, I must have been wrong then," she began before being tackled onto the bed with a squeal by one suddenly frisky Spencer.

She opened her mouth to proclaim her victory over Spencer's hormones yet again but Spencer's lips found her own and the words were lost to Spencer's mouth. Then her thoughts were lost to Spencer's touch.

Spencer's hands traveled up Ashley's shirt to tickle her sides only to kiss away the laughter. All Ashley could do was try and wiggle away but Spencer had her hips in a death grip between her thighs.

_Right, wiggling to get away. That's what I'm doing._

With the kind of timing that Ashley was convinced only the Carlin's had going for them, there was a loud knock on the door causing Spencer to jump.

"Spencer! Dinner!" Glen yelled loudly before stomping away.

Spencer looked down at Ashley still underneath her and bit her lip to keep from grinning. "You have no idea how easily that just killed the mood."

Ashley pouted to no avail as Spencer got off and pulled Ashley up with her. "Don't I at least get a cigarette before you march me off to my execution?" she asked.

"No, but you did get this," Spencer replied with a quick kiss.

"Even better."

Everyone was already at the table and Ashley could feel their eyes following her as they entered. She kept going over her mental checklist.

_Pray before you eat. Elbows off the table. Don't think about Spencer's lips. Don't think about Spencer naked. In fact, all thoughts of Spencer must be kept G-rated. Oh no, I forgot which way you're supposed to pass the food!_

Taking her seat next to Spencer all G-rated thoughts flew from her head as Spencer's foot immediately began to tease her shin. Ashley shot a glare at the smug face next to her before finally looking at everyone else at the table. Mr. C. smiled warmly in her direction and Clay gave her a quick encouraging smile. Glen rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. Mrs. C. just looked like she'd eaten something sour.

_I hope your face freezes that way. Good luck getting Dr. Homewrecker to look your way again then._

"Well. This is awkward," Glen finally said, breaking the silence.

"Glen, remember when we had that talk about thoughts better left unsaid? This is one of them," Clay responded with a groan, causing everyone to laugh.

Ashley grinned at Spencer as the tension lifted and the dinner began.

Things went relatively well until Mrs. C. caught the wink Ashley sent Spencer as their hands brushed passing the mashed potatoes. Her fork fell to her plate with a crash and the low level of conversation that had existed died quickly.

"I'm sorry, I just can't sit here and pretend this is okay when it's not."

_Cause clearly, it's all about you. Cue the pity party for Paula, _Ashley thought.

"Mom, this isn't about you," Spencer responded.

_That's my girl._

"Boys, why don't you go finished eating elsewhere?" Arthur instructed Glen and Clay.

As the boys left Ashley felt the increasingly familiar tension settle back down at the table in their place. She looked back and forth between Spencer and Paula wondering who would break first. Her gaze caught Arthur's who just shrugged and sat back.

"You can't help who you love. Isn't that right mom?"

_Aaaand they're off with a low blow to the gut from Spencer._

"I'm trying to allow you to live your life, but I can't sit back and watch you choose the hard path. I only want what's best for you, and she just isn't it."

_Paula counters playing the concerned mother card. How will Spencer respond?_ Ashley turned her head to look back at Spencer's angry face.

"Well that's what you're wrong. She is what's best for me. I love Ashley and she loves me. What could possibly be better than that?"

_Awwww, I love you too baby!_

Spencer looked at Ashley as if looking for help with the argument. Ashley just mimicked Arthur's earlier behavior and shrugged.

"Your silence is not helping," Spencer whispered under her breath.

"You will never be accepted, Spencer. You need to cut off ties before this little…relationship…goes too far," Paula replied, almost choking on the word relationship.

"Too far? You mean like consummating our little relationship? You mean like sex?" Spencer asked causing Ashley to actually choke on her water.

_No way. She's not really going to go there is she? Seriously? Should I really be this turned on right now?_

There was stunned silence from everyone at the table so Spencer chose to continue, "Because we have you know. Had sex."

_Well fuck me, she did it. _

Ashley felt strangely self satisfied so she threw in, "More than once."

Paula looked as if she were about to pass out and even Arthur looked ill. Spencer elbowed Ashley hard in the ribs.

"Not helping!" she hissed.

"Well make up your mind then! You want me to talk, you don't want me to talk. You don't want me to talk about sex? Because honey, you brought it up. Next time just make me a list of things I'm allowed to talk about," Ashley replied in mock anger causing Arthur to chuckle strangely.

"What could possibly be funny about this?" Paula practically screamed. Ashley couldn't help but notice how old she looked at that moment.

"I think we broke your mom," she whispered into Spencer's ear.

"They sound like an old married couple," Arthur answered, beginning to laugh even harder. He got up and walked away from the table holding his sides in laughter.

"I think we broke my dad too," Spencer whispered back sounding worried, "I need to go make sure he's okay," she finished quickly leaving the table leaving Ashley alone with Paula.

_Greeeat. _

"You…you defiled my daughter and you have the gall to sit here in my home as if you weren't some abomination," Paula stammered.

_Wow, so we're not even going to pretend to play nice. _

"I'll have you know it was beautiful Mrs. C. There was no defiling. And she was just as into it as I was. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. And I liked it. A lot. Every. Single. Time. So please don't lecture me. It happened, you can't make it unhappen," Ashley said resolutely.

Paula's jaw looked like it was about to detach from her face. Her fists began to shake in anger and Ashley almost felt guilty. Almost. The images of Spencer in tears because of words this woman who was supposed to love her no matter what kept flashing in Ashley's mind, taking away any doubt that she had said the right thing.

"You have no idea how you're ruining everything do you? You see the holes and cracks in a person and you just poke and prod until those cracks are open just enough for you to crawl through. You're an infestation, Ashley, and you are just as unwelcome as a cockroach would be."

"That was a particularly ugly analogy Mrs. C," Ashley responded with a grimace as Spencer walked back into the room.

"Looks like we're both finding love in ways that goes against your interpretation of the Bible, aren't we mom?" Spencer said practically spitting out the last word. She sat herself down on Ashley's lap keeping her eyes on her mother. Ashley wrapped her arms tight around the girl and pulled her even closer, kissing the side of her neck.

Paula slowly stood, her whole body shaking now. "Get out of my house before I call the police."

"No Paula, I think it's time that you leave," said Arthur from the doorway. "Right now, this is more my family than yours. I will deal with it as I see fit," he added gently grabbing her arm and pulling her from the room.

Ashley held tight to Spencer feeling the girl begin to shake as warm tears began to stream down Ashley's neck. Ashley felt her heart shatter into a million pieces for the girl she loved and slowly began to rock her, murmuring comforting words into her hair.

The yelling of Spencer's parents seem to fill the entire house, piercing the comforting shell Ashley was trying to create. As a door finally slammed the body in her arms tightened and the tears stopped. As she pulled away Ashley saw a set jaw and hard eyes. She followed Spencer into the living room where her father stood, his head in his hands.

He spotted the two of them and sighed, "Oh Spencer," he said his voice laced with disappointment. Ashley wasn't sure who the disappointment was for. "I need to go for a walk," he said opening the door slowly.

"Are you okay?" Ashley asked Spencer when he was gone.

"I will be," Spencer replied taking off her shirt.

Ashley stared at the toned body for a moment before remembering where she was. "Where are your brother?" she asked.

"Gone."

"We're about to have angry-at-your-mother rough sex aren't we?"

"Yep," Spencer replied simply stepping closer.

"Spence, I really don't think we should…"

"Ashley," Spencer interrupted pushing her body into the wall, "just shut up. I need this. We can talk about emotions later. I need something to fill up my emptiness right now, I need you to fill me. NOW!" she demanded.

It took Ashley a split second to decide what to do. "Okay," she agreed hands going straight for Spencer's belt. "Okay," she said again, softer, leaning in to kiss the quivering lips before her.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't.

Author's Note: This is such a piss poor chapter that I don't want to post it at all. But I need some kind of transition, get Ashley out of the house and start getting the other characters back into story (Aiden and Madison anyone?). I apologize for this. Just go back and reread previous chapters if you need to remember why you tune in. Also, and this is important...there are TWO chapters in between the last one I posted and this chapter. But I thought about it, reread the rules on what you're allowed to post,the ratings and all, and I decided the two chapters would have more of a MA rating, which you're not allowed to post. I don't want to be warned and lose my story. Point is, anyone who wants to be sent these chapters, just let me know, email me or whatever. And I'll be happy to send them. Otherwise, they've had sex, and now we enter into the afterglow...Also, I started a DEBS fic, for anyone who might be interested, check it out. Thanks.

* * *

After the sex they stayed in bed together, wrapped in each other's arms as Ashley slowly caught her breath and returned to the physical world around her.

" I don't know if I'll ever get used to how you make me feel," she said with a sigh, her fingers playing with Spencer's soft hair.

Spencer just laughed at her. "You're still glowing a bit much for that to be anything but dirty."

"Mmmm, well the dirty I'm willing to work on until I do get used to it, but beyond that, I don't think I'll ever get used to how much you love me. You stop the world. Nothing else ever matters when I'm in your arms."

Spencer smiled and bit her lip. "You know, Ash…moving forward using all my breath, making love to you was never second best."

Ashley recognized the words but she couldn't place them until Spencer sang the next line instead of just speaking it.

"I saw the world thrashing all around your face, never really knowing it was always mesh and lace," the blonde jumped off the bed and began to dance around as she really got into it, "I'll stop the world and melt with you! You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time!"

Ashley laughed loudly at the site before her. "You're crazy."

Spencer jumped back onto the bed. "No, I'm in love."

"There's nothing you and I won't do. I'll stop the world and melt with you," Ashley finished, pulling Spencer into a kiss.

They were both beginning to get into it, hands exploring the naked bodies, when there was a loud knock on the door causing Spencer to bite down hard on Ashley's lip.

_Son of a bitch! _Ashley cursed in her head.

"Spence, it's Glen and Clay, can we talk?"

_Hey, I was right._

"Wait! I'm naked!" Spencer blurted out before slapping her hands over her mouth. Her eyes widened as her words hit her. She began to gesture wildly at Ashley while simultaneously putting her clothes back on.

"Calm down, if you fall he might realize something's up," Ashley hissed under her breath.

"You have to hide!" Spencer whispered in a panic.

_Yes, because you told them you were naked. We need to work on your lying skills._

"You already told your family we're having sex, seems counterintuitive to hide me at this point," Ashley whispered back.

Spencer eyes caught her gaze, "Please, I'm just not ready for them to find us like this. I don't want to scar my brothers. I wouldn't want to find them in this situation anymore then they would want to find me. You're far too smug and…please, Ash."

"Can't we just say I had my eyes closed?"

In response Spencer just made a high pitched groan in the back of her throat. For a second Ashley actually believe the girl was going to have a stroke. "Pleeeease!"

Ashley held up her hands and hid in the closet with her clothes. _I haven't been in a closet in a long time. Ha! I amuse myself. So much for being serenaded. _She was still pouting at the inconvenience of it all when she heard Glen and Clay enter the room.

"So…" Glen began as Ashley listened in.

"So…" Spencer repeated.

_So, I'm going to need to make myself comfortable_, Ashley realized looking around the small space. The silence just seemed to grow awkward as all Ashley could hear was breathing and an odd cough. _Someone say something, I'm cramping in here._

"We just wanted to let you know we're behind you, Spence," Clay finally said.

"I know you are," Spencer said quietly, forcing Ashley to strain to hear.

"I know we already sided with you on the whole sending you away issue, but I guess what we're trying to say is we're okay with the whole g…ummm…liking girls thing," Glen added. "We still love you."

"Thanks. It means a lot to have you two understand," Ashley heard Spencer reply in a choked up voice.

_You know you're in a dark place when a speech like that can move you to tears._

"If you guys don't mind though, I kind of want to be alone right now," Spencer continued.

In frustration Ashley heard Glen continue to talk anyway. "You know, I figured now that everything is out in the open, I could help you find a girl."

_Hmmm, threesome? No. No, closet is small enough thanks._

"I have a girlfriend," Spencer sighed.

"Spence, seriously, Ashley is no good for you. You can do so much better," Glen argued.

_For once we agree with each other, jock strap._

Clay's voice jumped back in. "Glen! Support, remember? Must we go look it up in the dictionary again?"

"Clay, don't even tell me you don't agree. Spencer deserves the best. I bet wherever Ashley is at the moment she's doing something raunchy, the girl can't help it."

Ashley looked down at her clothes still in her arms. _Touché, boy Carlin, touché. You win this round._

"You're right, Spencer deserves the best. She deserves to be loved…and I believe Ashley gives her that. Besides, your taste in women is horrible, we don't want to scar our little sister for life," Clay said.

_Spencer and Madison? God wouldn't be so cruel, _Ashley shuddered at the thought as she started to put on her clothes in the cramped space.

"Hey, she dated Aiden. If she's still sane after that I think she can survive anything," Glen retorted.

_Just whip out the ruler in the locker room blondie and get this rivalry over with. _

"Clay, thanks for standing up for Ashley. Glen, thanks for...trying? I know you're just doing what you think is right, but believe me, I'm happy. So you should be happy for me. Awww, touching sibling moment, isn't this great? I love you both. Now get out of my room."

"Spence, I'm sorry okay? Don't be upset…" Glen began.

"Nope, nothing but sisterly love for ya, bro, but I need to be alone, "Spencer interrupted, "…it's a woman thing," she finally threw out in desperation.

Ashley had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing as she heard someone's hasty retreat from the room. She was about to leave the closet when she heard Clay's voice.

"Spencer."

"Clay?"

"You can tell Ashley to come out from wherever she's hiding."

Ashley heard Spencer begin to form some sort of excuse but she was more than ready to leave her hiding space.

"Hey, Clay…if you're looking for a witty excuse for being in the closet, I've got nothing," she said opening the door and peering at the boy.

"How did you know?" Spencer asked looking red in the face.

Clay just grinned and put his hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Because this is the top Ashley wore to dinner," he pointed out.

"Hey! Were you checking me out tonight? Right in front of my girlfriend?" Ashley questioned in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Both Carlins looked at her incredulously. _Maybe now's not the time._

Clay shook his head in disbelief. "Come on Ashley, I think it's time for you to head home." With a wave back at the silent Spencer, Ashley allowed Clay to lead her out of the room.

"Are you going to beat me up?" Ashley asked as they walked down the stairs.

Clay rolled his eyes and opened the front door for the brunette. "Goodbye Ashley. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other."


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: See before.

Author's note: Thanks for all the love! You all said such wonderful things. Thus, you get the next chapter.

* * *

The heat of the day hit Spencer as soon as she stepped out of the car. As her brothers headed quickly towards the school building (one looking forward to learning and one looking forward to flirting), Spencer took a moment to lean against the car and catch her breath.

Everything just seemed to move faster in L.A. She had moved here under the assumption that she knew exactly who she was. She thought she knew her family. Yet, here she stood in love with a girl, which was new and scary for many reason, but she had no one to turn to anymore. At home there was a caring yet increasingly despondent father, an estranged mother, and two teenage boys.

_Lovely_, Spencer thought to herself.

With a deep sigh she started for the school making it only a few steps before arms wrapped around her from behind and a moist kiss planted on the back of her neck. With a startled cry she whirled around to catch the amused face of Ashley.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you still suspended?"

Ashley grinned. "Mom's newest man knew someone who knew someone. They really wanted me out of the house and so strings have been pulled. If I didn't know any better I would think my mom picked the guy for that reason only."

Spencer couldn't help but grin back. "You scared me, I didn't realize it was you," she still admonished.

"If someone else has been greeting you that enthusiastically, I must be informed immediately," Ashley replied in mock seriousness.

"I'm sorry, I need to protect my many admirers from each other," Spencer joked back. She grabbed Ashley's hand and together they began to walk inside.

"Have you spoken to Aiden since your knee met his crotch?" Spencer suddenly asked.

"No, he hasn't been answering my calls and I didn't want to put you in between it by asking you to play peacemaker."

"Well that explains why he's attempting hide behind the lunch table over there. Aiden, you're a big boy, we can still see you!" Spencer called out.

"I'm just trying my shoe," Aiden called back.

"Awwww! He's afraid of me now! That's so cute. Let me handle this one, Spence."

Ashley walked over to the lunch table and sat down, whispering something in Aiden's ear as Spencer watched on. After a moment he jumped up and gave Ashley a big hug his face lit up with a smile. When Ashley returned to where Spencer stood she simply tilted her head in question.

"I simply apologized for overreacting to his involvement in things. And I said I would find him a very special nurse to take care of any leftover swelling," Ashley said with a laugh.

"Ashley!"

"I told you, baby, it's all about who you know. And speaking of who we know, look, it's the welcoming committee," Ashley added pointing to a group of girls led by Madison heading in their direction.

"Look girls, I guess Ashley knows exactly who to sleep with to get her way back into school," Madison started out.

"Madison, your face seems to be healing nicely," Ashley took a step closer, "but it still looks puffy even from here."

"Allergies," Madison snarled.

"Oh good, I thought maybe you had gone and gotten yourself pregnant while I was gone. I would want to be the first to congratulate you on snagging a guy for longer than a night."

Madison gave a sharp laugh, "No, that would be more your style wouldn't it, Davies?"

"Whore."

"Lesbian."

"We get parades and you get street corners, I'll take it."

Despite how entertaining it was to watch, when Spencer saw Ashley's hands begin to clench at her side she decided it was time to step in. She tugged on Ashley's arm.

"Come on, let's go. You don't want to be late for class on your first day back," she whispered in Ashley's ear.

Ashley didn't respond but she followed willingly, still attempting to stare Madison down as they walked away.

"I still owe you, Ashley. Don't think I've forgotten that," Spencer heard Madison threaten.

Once the Latina was no longer in view Ashley turned to Spencer. "Yeah, I don't like her."

"Yes, but you like me and therefore I should be the focus of all your attention," Spencer corrected, giving Ashley a light kiss on the lips. "Now get to class. I'll see you at lunch," she continued with a smack to Ashley's ass.

"You're so cheeky. And I love it. Let's say we skip school and go make out in my car, just like old times," Ashley murmured in a low voice.

Spencer just rolled her eyes and walked away with a wave. She turned back to see Ashley watching her leave appreciatively.

"Okay, but you'll be thinking about me all day!" Ashley called to her.

_Yeah, _Spencer thought, _I can get used to this._

_- - - - _

Turned out Ashley was right. Every moment up until lunch was filled with thoughts of Ashley. Spencer couldn't be sure but she had a distinct feeling that she had actually called her math teacher Ashley. He couldn't have been that pleased.

She found herself running through the hallways trying to find Ashley when the time came. She found the brunette leaning back onto a table basking in the sun. Her already tan skin seemed to glimmer beneath the rays and Spencer actually had to stop as the view took her breath away. She remained there staring and blessing whatever force brought this girl into her life when she felt someone move behind her. It was Aiden.

"Hot," he noted of the weather. "Even hotter," he added catching sight of Ashley.

"Oh yeah," Spencer concurred.

They stood there in silence for a moment before Spencer spoke up again. "You're totally thinking about how we've both been with her aren't you?"

"Yep."

"Awkward," Spencer pointed out finally starting towards her girlfriend.

"Hot," she heard Aiden repeat behind her.

When she reached Ashley she sat in the girl's lap and leaned in to whisper, "You. Me. Backseat. Now."

Ashley buried her head into Spencer's neck. "Mmm, as much as blatant public displays of affection turn me on, I promised Aiden I would help him with some project he has to do."

Spencer pulled away to look Ashley in the eyes. "Pardon? Since when do you help people do work. You don't even do your own."

"He's playing the guilt card! Apparently this project has something to do with music, and I'm his go to gal now that I've promised never to go near junior again."

"I said you weren't allowed near junior again with any ill will. Everything else is fair game," Aiden corrected. "Now get off my help, Spence. I need her full attention."

Spencer moved over to the other side of the table with a pout. She sat there watching Ashley's mouth as she answered Aiden's questions. Her eyes were bright as they always were when she was talking about music or Spencer. It made her gorgeous.

Unable to help herself any longer, Spencer's foot began to rub against Ashley's shin. Ashley grinned at the touch but kept talking to Aiden. Feigning interest in Aiden's project Spencer moved closer again until she was on the other side of Ashley. Her hand found one bare knee and squeezed it, letting her fingers linger there for minute before they slowly slid up her thigh.

Eventually she reached the material of Ashley's short skirt and her allowed her hand to dance around the edge teasingly. She covertly slid her hand in between Ashley's legs.

"Yes," Ashley moaned quietly.

"What?" Aiden asked, looking up from his paper. He noticed Spencer sudden proximity to Ashley and shook his head. "You! Hand check!"

Spencer sheepishly put both hands up on the table, and shrugged innocently.

"Stop being a distraction and go eat lunch or something. Are you really about to make out with your girlfriend right in front of all these…" Aiden trailed off as it dawned on him what he was saying. "Actually, is that a possibility?"

Spencer laughed at the hopeful look on his face. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her brothers approaching a table nearby so with a sigh she leaned away from Ashley. "You win," she said in defeat.

"Which clearly means I don't win. Thanks Aiden! As usual you've ruined a beautiful moment for me," Ashley bemoaned.

Aiden gave a loud sigh to express his suffering. "Fine, we're done here. You two go do…whatever. And be sure to take pictures. Some of us aren't getting any at the moment."

"Well don't look now but someone over there hasn't been able to keep their eyes off of you," Ashley whispered conspiratorially, indicating to a table not too far off.

Aiden turned to stare into the glaring eyes of one Glen Carlin. "Oh, that's really funny. Kick a man while he's down."

"Last time I kicked you when you were standing you cried. I thought I would try something different this time around," Ashley responded, grinning.

"You're so clever. I don't know how Spencer can stand it. She deserves a medal. Now get out of here you two. Before I change my mind."

With a wave Spencer grabbed Ashley's hand and jumped up to leave. In her excitement she failed to notice Madison who she ran right into on her way down the lawn.

"Ewww," the cheerleader squealed looking at the blonde girl.

"Funny, I didn't think my clothing was reflective," Spencer responded.

"You used to be so sweet, Spence. What has gotten into you lately? Oh wait, I know…" Madison laughed.

"Beware my Lord of jealousy. It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on," Spencer quoted earning herself blank looks all around.

"Too intelligent, Spence. Small words, less syllables. Don't quote books, she hasn't learned about those," Ashley threw into the mix. "Let me break it down for you, Mads. She's trying to say you're just upset because you're not getting any of this."

"Is it some kind of rule that lesbians are always so self absorbed?" Madison questioned.

"Depends, are you admitting you're a lesbian?" Ashley questioned in return. "Really, what is your problem, Madison? Repressed sexuality? Did you forget to eat breakfast this morning? A hangnail perhaps, I know those can be a bitch."

Madison took a step back as Ashley rambled on. "What's with all these questions?"

Ashley's eyebrows raised together. "You know Madison, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise."

Madison actually did look scared. "You're nuts. Forget it, I'm sick of you anyway." With that she walked away in a huff.

Spencer stood in shock for a moment as she watched Madison leave. She took the time to go over the discussion in her head before clasping her hands together. "Honey?"

"Yes baby?"

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Staring at your ass."

Spencer whirled around. "No, I mean, what was that?"

Ashley shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not allowed to beat her up, so I was trying a different approach."

"By out crazy-ing her? Madison would be the first in line to put you into the white jacket, Ash."

"Which would so clash with my outfit," Ashley said in a fake valley voice. "Look, she left didn't she? It's all good. Let's go now. In my mind I've already made it to second base, my hands have a lot of catching up to do."


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I am poor. Therefore I couldn't possibly own anything having to do with SoN.

Note: And a voice said "Let there be an update!" And there was. I again have another probably not postable chapter after this one. But there's an important event in that chapter so I think I might try to bring it back down to a respectable rating and then post it.Thank you all you wonderful and lovely people for your amazing words.

* * *

**Chapter...something...**

Ashley paid enough attention in science class to know that time was relative. She didn't know why this was the case or even who was credited with the discovery but she knew that it had to be true. Because the time spent in her car making out with Spencer definitely seemed to move faster than the time she spent doing anything else. There never seemed to be enough time in the world for her to get acquainted with the blonde's body and the taste of her tongue.

It had become routine for the two girls to meet up after school, and even occasionally during school, and find some place secluded to park and spend time together. The most interesting part to Ashley was that they didn't always make out. Sometimes they would simply sit wrapped up in each other and talk about every topic under the sun. But no matter what they did it was their sacred time to just be themselves.

Unfortunately, this time in a fit of rating hormones, Ashley had been unable to keep off of Spencer until they reached that secluded spot. As it was they were parked ridiculously close to the Carlin house.

"This could be bad," Spencer whispered into Ashley's hair as the girl gently sucked on her neck.

"Mmmhmm," was all Ashley responded. She knew Spencer was right but then again the blonde didn't have to try and keep her hands off herself all the time.

_Although, _Ashley's mind couldn't help but wonder, _if I were her…_

Feeling the younger girl's body finally relax, Ashley pulled her close into a searing kiss. She put everything into the kiss and let her body melt into Spencer's embrace until, of course, they were interrupted by a loud knock at Ashley's window.

Both girls froze, foreheads touching, lips only a breath apart. Ashley stared at Spencer who had her eyes clenched shut.

"Oh my god," she blonde breathed, "please tell me it's not my mom. You look. I can't look."

"No no, I think it's best that you just peer around my shoulder. And I'll stay away from any and all death glares," Ashley whispered back.

"I hate to have to play this card but you're older. And braver. And…and…sexier?" Spencer replied.

"Now you're just being mean," Ashley moaned, but both girls knew Spencer had won.

Taking a deep breath Ashley steeled herself for whatever foe would most likely greet her but turning she found only the big grin of one Aiden Dennison.

_Please, let looks kill just this once_, she thought, hitting the steering wheel a few times for good measure.

Finally she rolled down her window and stared at the boy in silent question.

"So, is this a private party or can anyone join?" he asked with a cheeky smirk.

"In your dreams Dennison," Ashley replied through gritted teeth.

"And what dreams those will be," Aiden grinned, leaning up against Ashley's door.

"Aiden, I think you caused me to have a heart attack. Do I look okay to you? I think my heart really did stop there," Spencer finally spoke up, looking slightly pale.

"You're too young for a heart attack, sweetie," Ashley reassured her with a pat on her hand.

"A panic induced heart attack then!"

"We were only kissing," Ashley said innocently.

Spencer stared at her incredulously for a moment. "Ash, love, that definitely wasn't my hand up my shirt."

"What?" Ashley cried out staring at her own hand, "Well now it's just getting action without me," she moaned causing Spencer to giggle and lean in to give a light kiss on the lips.

"You're such a goofball," she whispered.

"Still standing here," Aiden pointed out, "so either let me in or stop turning me on."

"Ewww," Spencer moaned into Ashley's shoulder.

"Hey, now! It's nothing you haven't willingly done before. Both of you," Aiden reminded them.

"We were young and stupid," Ashley lamented. "And secretly pining away for each other."

"Spencer wasn't even around for you and me, Ash."

Ashley looked into her girlfriend's blue eyes and smiled. "Believe me, I was already dreaming only of her."

Spencer just laughed. "Sweet baby, sweet but oh so sappy!"

"And now that the mood has been officially ruined…" Aiden began.

"The mood was ruined the minute you showed up, Aiden," Ashley interrupted.

"I meant my mood. Sweet over sexy just kills it every time. And before anyone tries to make a joke about me not being able to get it up, I'm just going to barrel ahead and invite you two to my party tonight. It's going to be sick."

"Aiden, I'm really not in the mood for another one for your 'sick' parties. It never ends well," Ashley said.

Aiden let out a loud laugh. "You mean the cacti?"

"We swore we'd never speak of it again!" Ashley yelled with a shiver.

"But it's not going to be at my house! That's the sick part. It's my party but at a friend's house. He left me the keys for the weekend while his family is on some getaway," Aiden said excitedly.

"Still not interested, Aiden. Sorry," Ashley replied started to roll up her window until Aiden stuck his head in the way.

"I'm not leaving until you say you'll come."

"Done," Spencer responded. "Bye Aiden," she added in a sing song voice as the boy practically danced off.

"Now where were we?" Ashley asked turning back to the beauty and hand.

"We were just caught making out. Don't you ever learn your lesson?"

"You protest but all I think you really mean is that we need some mood music," Ashley mumbled as she reached down and pulled out an unlabeled CD and popped it in.

The low bass and beat of Spoon began to flow from the speakers causing Ashley to groan and watch as Spencer unsuccessfully bit back a chuckle.

"Wrong CD?" she questioned still grinning.

Ashley nodded. "Yes. But don't think I can't work with this. It just means I'll have to speed things up," she finished doing her best to jump onto a squealing Spencer.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

By the time Spencer convinced Ashley that they had to keep their word to Aiden, _"Your word, not mine"_, they were already late for the party. Pulling up to the place it was clear things were already underway. The music was loud enough to be heard almost a block away but Ashley couldn't help but notice the house was rather secluded.

_The cops only have to break up four of his parties before the boy learns. _

"Do we really have to?" she said out loud, making one last desperate attempt to get out of it. "You look far too sexy to waste it on these Neanderthals. I know! Let's go out for a nice dinner, my treat. Please? Pwease?"

Spencer sighed and looked up into Ashley's pleading puppy dog eyes. "Let's at least make an appearance. Okay?"

Ashley nodded humbly but inside her head she was doing a victory dance. _It's damn good to me._

They got out of the car and started towards the house, weaving between parked cars, as Ashley already started dancing to the music. The knowledge that soon enough she would be alone with Spencer had greatly lightened her mood.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Spencer mouthing the words to the Shakira song that had begun to play, "all the attraction, the tension, don't you see baby this is perfection."

_If only she knew_, Ashley thought as the usual warmth shot through her body. To fight her increasingly x-rated thoughts she began to play an air horn along with the song sending Spencer into a fit of giggles.

Enjoying the sound Ashley just threw in some more crazy dancing moves and then started a two person conga line before just wrapping her arms around the blonde to feel her body shake with laughter. It made her feel stronger, like a better person, just knowing she could make such a magnificent person happy.

Stepping away from each other they started to move forward again when suddenly an already drunk Aiden appeared out of nowhere and tackled Spencer.

_How the hell did we not hear him coming? He making enough noise to rival a herd of elephants…do elephants even travel in herds? _Ashley wondered looking around for any hidden trap doors. It was LA, you could never be too careful.

"Yeeer heeeere!" he sang out excited still atop of Spencer.

"You! Off the girlfriend!" Ashley finally demanded, "I know kung fu," she threatened.

Aiden stared up from the ground in confusion. "No ya don't," he slurred.

"No. No, I don't. It's true," Ashley conceded as she helped a still giggling Spencer up.

Aiden remained where he was and blinked a few times. "Huh?"

"He's very happy to see us," Spencer managed to say in between her giggles.

"Yes, so I figured. See this is why we should have just left," Ashley groaned.

"No," Spencer corrected, "I mean he's really happy to see us," she added pointing down to a certain piece of anatomy of the boy still on the ground.

Ashley looked and noticed the offender. "Oh geeze, Aiden buddy you really need to get laid," she said finally helping him to his feet.

Aiden looked drunkenly at her, "It's been a long time," he attempted to whisper in her ear. It came out louder than anything else he'd said so far causing Spencer to double over in laughter.

"Okay we need to get both of you inside and get some water into you," Ashley admonished.

Spencer hiccupped in response.

"And it's already too late to save you. He's supposed to be the drunk one. Speaking of, did you leave us anything to drink?" she asked Aiden. She had to yell the last part to be heard over the music as they stepped into the sweaty smelling house.

Aiden stood looking up with a confused expression. "I only understand half of this song," he yelled sounding worried.

Ashley just shook her head in amusement. "That's because it's Anyclub. Only half of the song is in English." With a pat to Aiden's shoulder she followed her girlfriend into the fray.

She pointed to an open couch in the corner. "You wait here," she yelled, "and I'll go find us some drinks."

Spencer gave a thumbs up and a grin in reply. Ashley turned and stared at the room full of crazy, dancing teenagers. Most of whom didn't give one shit about her existence.

_Fuuuuuck. She's gonna owe me big for this._

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

Notice: I'm sorry, I know it's been a very very long time. But beyond summer there's been a lot of family...issues...as of late. I'm sure you don't want to hear me complain about it though, you want more chapters. And I'm happy to oblige.

Oh! And about the missing chapters that people were asking for, if you didn't get them just ask again. I'm not forgetting about you, like I said, it's just been one thing after another.

Disclaimer: Second verse, same as the first.

* * *

**Party Chapter...woooo**

The house was full of bodies that seemed to flow as one. Whether the partiers were dancing, drinking, laughing at some stupid joke or just making out in the corner, Ashley could no longer tell where one person ended and another began. With a deep breath she steeled herself, grasped the cups in her hands a bit tighter, and entered back into the flow of movement.

She was immediately swept away, escape back the way she came quickly filled by another body moving in perfect rhythm with everyone else. Ashley forged ahead occasionally being bumped by a sweaty body too wrapped up in the dance to even notice. The place was a cornucopia of hormones and Ashley felt her own raging alongside everyone else's as she fought her way back to her dream girl.

Spencer was still on the couch, exactly where she had been left. Unfortunately, Ashley's spot had been taken by a couple who seemed content to make-out practically in Spencer's lap. The older girl couldn't help but chuckle as Spencer had to slap away the hand of the guy trying to cop a feel, his lips glued to his girlfriend but his eyes glued to Spencer. Ashley could understand the feeling. All she wanted to do was feel up Spencer as well.

The blonde jumped up when she spotted Ashley approaching. Ashley handed her one of the drinks and then grasped the girl's hand, pulling her over to a free spot against the wall. Her body involuntarily shivered as Spencer leaned in as close as possible, her head in the crook of Ashley's neck and her hand on the small of her back. They both remained that way for a moment, oblivious to the scene unfolding around them.

Finally, Spencer tilted her head up and Ashley could feel her warm breath brush across her neck before reaching her ear.

"This is crazy."

Ashley nodded in reply and then shrugged her shoulders. They weren't going to find much better with this crowd.

She watched as Spencer leaned back and began to chug the beer that was in her cup. She took long swallows and Ashley's eyes traveled the lines of the sleek neck as it tilted back. When she was finished, Spencer grimaced and Ashley was briefly reminded of the girl's affinity for hard liquors. With an impish grin that went unnoticed by the blonde, she made a decision and stepped forward indicating that Spencer should follow.

Once again she was swallowed up by the crowd but this time she didn't mind as much for the bumping bodies forced her to be closer to Spencer whose hand had found Ashley's back pocket. Ashley stopped for a moment to close her eyes and take another deep breath. The air smelled musty, a mixed scent of beer and sweat but, as if it were a light in the darkness, Ashley could still smell Spencer. She smelled of herbal shampoo and some intoxicating perfume. It was all Ashley could do not to throw her down and take her right as they broke free of everyone else.

Instead she led Spencer through the large house going upstairs and searching until they found an empty room which looked like a den of some kind. They could still hear the sounds of the party but it was definitely an improvement. She watched as Spencer's eyes took in the messy desk, chair and tattered couch, as well as the little knickknacks that littered the room. She looked back over at Ashley with an unasked question in her eyes.

"You're not seeing the potential. Fortunately, everyone out there is easily distracted by the rooms with pool tables or beds. But this room is the jackpot. This is L.A. It's different here, Spence. You just a see a room, and I see the getaway when there are marital difficulties." She walked over to the couch and after a moment's inspection tore off the cushions to reveal a sofa bed.

"See?" she said, proud of herself.

Spencer just shook her head laughing, "And what were you going to need a bed for?"

Ashley held up her hands in mock surrender, "I'm just all about your comfort, baby."

She went around and inspected the desk drawers, eventually revealing a half filled bottle of rum. "I am so good."

She looked up to see Spencer had made a discovery of her own. The blonde's face was unreadable as she held up a pair of handcuffs.

"Exactly who's party are we at again?"

Ashley didn't answer the question and instead looked up at the ceiling. "Thank you, God. This doesn't earn you a trip to church but I do promise next time I won't yell obscenities at those standing outside. You've delivered big."

Glancing back at Spencer she saw the girl staring at the handcuffs. She walked over to the closed door and locked it before turning back to look Ashley in the eyes. "So, do you want to be the one squirming, or the one causing the squirming?"

Ashley felt her jaw hit the desk. "What?" she managed to stutter out. Even her inner dialogue was being uncharacteristically silent.

Spencer just continued on, "I mean, it's always been my dream to be under your control in bed, but I could handle it the other way as well."

Ashley glanced up one last time, _You win, God, thank you thank you thank you, _and then stood and walked over to her girlfriend. She leaned in to let Spencer's scent fill up her senses once again. She ran her hands down Spencer's side to the hem of her shirt and then swiftly pulled it up over the blonde's head.

The moment took both girls away, lost in the touch of each other. They forgot where they were as the lips of the other took them away.

Ashley was so far gone, as a matter of fact, that it took her a few minutes to notice that Spencer had pulled away.

"Oh shit," she was mumbling. "Oh shit."

Ashley frowned, confused. "I haven't done anything else."

"No, I mean...nothing. Nevermind, I thought I saw something but you locked the door so I must be wrong."

Ashley kissed Spencer lightly. "Everything is okay. It's all good. But me thinks this phantom menace is probably your way of telling me we should take this elsewhere. Put on your shirt and let's get out of here."

With a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, Spencer agreed. But Ashley couldn't help and notice as the blonde kept glancing nervously around the room. Marking the moment in her memory Ashley led the younger girl out and together they headed back home.

* * *

_So ummm..yep. There you have it. I actually had to clean this up, in the other version Ashley and Spencer definitely have sex, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt it was against Spencer's character. And so the ending changed. Hopefully the next update was take as long looks away ashamed_


	20. Chapter 20

Note: This is a short chapter. And there are two reasons for this. 1) There was not enough cuteness in the premier, and so I will create me own (enter maniacal laughter here). Also, 2) after writing an entirely different chapter I realized, once again, that it just didn't fit. Man, you have to hate that. So, I give you a short and sweet chapter (and probably another one after this) while I try and figure out where to take this story since I had to throw out my latest idea. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 20**

_Only twelve more hours until I'm out of this house and get to see Ashley again, _Spencer thought. It was Saturday afternoon, the party only the night before and already she sat before her homework in the middle of a great daydream about Ashley. It wasn't even so much that she missed her girlfriend, although of course she did, but more that Ashley made her feel safe, she was stable. _Well, as stable as Ashley Davies can be. _Her family, on the other hand, seemed to be imploding in on itself. The ground was very shaky and Spencer found herself constantly longing to be held in the brunette's secure arms.

She curled up on her bed and hummed along to the music playing. Her hand caressed the top of the lap top that should have been on and open, but the thought didn't deter her from her current mental pursuit. Unfortunately, the blonde was interrupted from her reverie by frantic pounding on the front door.

"Door!" she yelled, before remembering that Glen was the only other person in the house. And he wasn't likely to get the door unless he was expecting someone.

The knocking seemed to grow more frantic as Spencer ran down the stairs. "Hold on! I'm coming, keep your pants on," she yelled back as she yanked open the door to reveal a disheveled Ashley. "Of course, you're always welcome to take your pants off," she amended.

"Spencer Carlin, are you undressing me with your mind?" Ashley asked in an exaggerated shocked voice.

"I would never dream of such a thing," Spencer responded, acting as completely shocked by the accusation.

"Liar," Ashley counted.

"You're right," Spencer grinned, moving aside to let the older girl in, "I dream about it all the time."

As she closed the door she could feel Ashley's presence near her and sure enough she turned only to have her back pressed to the door, Ashley's body leaning in close, dark eyes boring into her own.

"Hey you," Ashley whispered.

Feeling suddenly shy under Ashley's intense gaze Spencer had to bite down on a giggle that began to tickle the back of her throat. "Hey yourself," she finally managed to whisper back.

"I was thinking about you," Ashley murmured, her finger tracing Spencer's lips causing Spencer's breath to catch.

"Oh…" Spencer sighed as Ashley leaned in closing the already non existent distance between them.

"You! Off the sister!" a masculine voice called, ruining the moment.

Ashley pulled back just a little bit. Over her shoulder Spencer could see Glen as he pointed to his eyes and then back to the two girls. _Yes, I get it, you're watching me. _Spencer rolled her eyes back at her brother before he turned and headed toward the kitchen.

Looking back at Ashley, Spencer grinned at the merriment that seemed to dance in the older girl's eyes.

"At least he didn't jump on my back to try and pry me away," Ashley pointed out with a laugh. She bit her lip, "I would have had to hurt him," she added.

"You seem very happy," Spencer noted, taking Ashley's hand and interlacing their fingers. Even this slightest touch seemed to ground her. And that seemed a good thing since Ashley's mere presence made Spencer want to fly.

"Why wouldn't I be happy?" Ashley bantered back. "I have the most gorgeous girlfriend ever, and I just came to ask said girlfriend out on a date tonight."

"A date? Well let me mark this day down on my calendar," Spencer said with mock giddiness. "Ashley, we go on dates all the time, so while I'm glad asking me out makes you so happy, it seems a bit overdone."

Ashley grin only seemed to grow at her words. The dark eyes sparkled as she winked at Spencer, their bodies still only a few inches apart.

"I don't mean what we usually do, baby. I mean a real date. We're not going to the club, or to a party, or even to my bed. Although I can't guarantee the night won't end there. But I mean we going to go out. To dinner. Or the movies. Or, I don't know, bowling or something. What do normal couples do again? What do you want to do? That's what we'll do."

Spencer felt her heart pound at the implications of the brunette's words. "Oh," was all she managed to say yet again, giving herself a mental slap as that giggle finally escaped from her lips.

Ashley just grinned back, "So can I take that as a 'yes'?"

"That is a resounding YES! But just so you know, I expect this to be a very big deal," Spencer responded as her playful side finally kicked back in.

"Oh, of course," Ashley said, sounding completely sincere. Then she grinned and leaned towards Spencer's waiting lips again.

The throat clearing behind them was right on time.

"Well, I am just convinced that the world doesn't want to watch us making out," Ashley said with a trace of humor in her voice. With a gleam in her eye she still gave Spencer a quick peck to the corner of the girl's mouth before turning to face Glen. "What is your deal?"

"I said, off my sister. I'm pretty sure I was speaking English," Glen spat out.

"You were. I heard they were teaching apes amazing things these days. You still understand sign language too?" Ashley asked waving around her middle finger.

"Would now be the wrong time to ask you two to play nice?" Spencer broke in.

"Hey, I'm not kicking her ass out of the house. I'd say that's playing plenty nice," Glen glowered.

"Glen…" Spencer started.

"No, no," Ashley interrupted, "he has a point. Baby steps are happening here. I think we're all going to be one big happy family," she finished gleefully as she ran over to Glen and wrapped him into a giant bear hug.

"Off!" Glen ordered yet again, shaking the girl loose. He stared down at himself as if he had just come in contact with a horrible disease.

"Yes, you will start to like guys now," Ashley stated, matter-of-fact.

Glen just rolled his eyes and started back upstairs, calling back over his shoulder, "You know Ashley, there was a time when I would have loved to be hugged by a lesbian. But you have ruined this fantasy for me. Ruined I tell you!"

Ashley turned back to Spencer, "Is it wrong that I'm starting to actually tolerate him?"

Spencer chuckled. "No, because I'm only beginning to tolerate him myself. And he's my brother."

"A fact I don't hold against you, dearest."

"So…" Spencer began.

"So…" Ashley continued.

"Tonight then?"

Ashley grinned, "It's a date."

* * *

_And can I just add how much I love Spencer? Seriously. Ashley is great and all, but Spencer's character is the reason I watch the show._

_Also, I started to make a promo for my story in my head, as if it were actually a season. I'm computer illiterate so it will only exist in my head, but picking out the right song and scenes is actually pretty fun._

_Lastly, thanks again for the wonderful reviews. You're all so amazing, I don't know how to thank you enough. You make me grin like Spencer when Ashley's in the room._


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I will say it one last time, I don't anything having to do with SoN or its characters.

Author's Note: Before we get to the story, I wrote a little "promo" to my own story, complete with the chapters where you can find each "scene" so if you want to refresh your memory you can. This is the happy, Spashley one. I think I'm going to do a drama! one as well.

Opening: Ashley staring at a sleeping Spencer from Chapter 1

Spencer: Ash?  
Ashley: Hmmmm?  
Spencer: Are you watching me sleep?  
Ashley: Uhh…I…umm…yes. Creepy?  
Spencer: No. Sweet. Safe. It makes me feel safe.

After the speaking you can hear the line from the music playing in the background, "_she'll hold you captivated in her palm."_

Spencer reaches out her hand for Ashley to take. When she does the music which has been playing quietly in the background comes to forefront.

_Suddenly I see  
__This is what I want to be  
__Suddenly I see  
__Why the hell it means so much to me  
__Suddenly I see  
__This is what I want to be  
__Suddenly I see  
__Why the hell it means so much to me_

While the music is playing there are clips of the two girls:  
Ashley holding out her hand to Spencer at the gazebo (Chapter 3)  
Ashley walking in holding a tray of food (Chapter 6)  
Spencer smelling Ashley (Chapter 8)  
Spashley hug (Chapter 10)  
Spencer in her striptease outfit, striking a pose (Chapter 12)  
Spencer and Ashley leaning against the wall together at a party (Chapter 19)

The end...or maybe some words like the SoN catch phrase. So, now onto the story...

* * *

_**Chapter 20**_

_A date, a date, adateadateadate, _the thought flashed through Ashley's head, never missing a beat. She sat in her car staring up at the Carlin residence as she mentally prepared herself. This was something she desperately wanted to go right, which normally guaranteed failure. And this was an actual date with Spencer. The last time she had been on a date was long ago, and she had never gone on an actually date with a girl before. This was new.

_Never done this before, _she thought, brain reeling, _Okay! Shut up, Ashley!_

With a deep sigh she shook her head side to side a few times to try and dispel any lingering nervousness. She rotated her shoulders a few times, partly to relax and partly to make sure her dress stayed on. Finally, feeling secure, she opened the car door and began to walk up the path.

Halfway there she froze. And then ran back to the car.

When asking Spencer out she knew she had come off as calm, collected, the very meaning of cool, not to mention seductive. But before she had knocked on the door she had gone through this exact dance. She had no idea why she would be so nervous about such an everyday event when something like sex never caused her a second thought.

_Chill! Just chill out! You are awesome. You are sexy. You are Ashley. Be cool. And pray to whatever God that Paula isn't in there._

While giving herself the mental pep talk Ashley also remembered to grab the bouquet of roses off the passenger seat. She had been unable to help herself when at the store, she wanted to bring Spencer the world, but this was the best she could do at the moment.

_You're getting corny in your old age._

"Just shut up!" she growled at her inner voice. "And now I'm talking to myself, just great."

She also couldn't help but remember the surprise she had for Spencer later. And the news she had to give.

With one more deep breath Ashley started up the walk again. This time she made it all the way to the door and managed to raise her hand before the door swung open.

"I never thought you'd actually make it to the door," a whimsical Spencer said, her eyes sparkling. "I was afraid you were just going to leave."

"Never."

They were both silent for a moment as they drank in the sight of each other. They were both dressed in skirts. Spencer had a classy button down shirt, while Ashley's own showed a lot more skin. Ashley came to the conclusion that while she had seen Spencer in many different lights, the girl had never looked happier.

"Wow," they both ended up sighing at the same time.

With a light laugh, Spencer invited her in.

"You mean…to meet the parents? Because been there, done that, not so successful."

Spencer just rolled her eyes, "It's just my dad, Ash."

"Mr. C? My one true love? Lead the way!" Ashley said laughing as Spencer smacked her lightly across the arm.

"That's just creepy," the blonde noted.

Ashley just gave her a cheeky smile.

"I'm going to get my jacket upstairs, I'll meet you in the living room," Spencer called over her shoulder running up the stairs.

Ashley entered the living room and found Arthur sitting quietly in a chair reading a book. "Hey, Mr. C."

Arthur looked up and met her eyes, "Ashley, hello, please take a seat."

_This dating stuff is so easy. _

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" Arthur asked.

"Yes."

"Almost as beautiful as, Spencer."

"Indeed," Ashley replied with a smirk.

"Ashley, what are you intentions towards my daughter?"

_What? _Ashley actually smacked herself in the face as she realized her mistake. _Right, don't smirk in front of the girlfriend's father. Switch tactics. Okay. Don't panic._

Ashley gave a nervous laugh, "No intentions, sir. Intentionless, that's me."

Arthur raised his eyebrows at her.

Ashley gave another nervous laugh, "Whew, well isn't this uncomfortable. Where is Spencer? How long does it take to get a jacket? Girls. Ha."

Arthur chuckled. "Calm down, Ashley. I'm the father, it's my job to give the speech, to ask the questions. Why should you be any different than anyone else showing up to take Spencer out?"

"Because I'm not sex obsessed?" Ashley ventured.

_Liar, _Ashley mentally chided herself.

The smile on Arthur's face seemed to dim a bit as he became serious, "You make her happy. And she deserves to have that. I just don't want anyone to hurt my little girl."

"I don't want anyone to do that either," Ashley agreed while her insides played a few rounds of rugby.

"I see."

"I brought flowers!" she added excitedly, holding up the roses.

"You brought flowers. So then you do have some sort of intentions on what you want out of this date," Arthur speculated, the corners of his mouth turning up.

Ashley nodded, feeling more nervous than she had ever felt in her life. "Spencer!"

"What?" came a question from behind her.

"Look at that! It's Spencer! Time to go, nice chat, must run," Ashley said quickly as she jumped up from the couch.

Spencer looked like she was trying to bite back a laugh as they walked towards the door.

"How long were you standing there?" Ashley whispered.

Spencer shrugged with a giggle, "I guess I was just as curious as to your intentions."

"Oh, Ashley?" Arthur asked from behind her.

Ashley whirled around feeling her heartbeat speed up. _What now? _She straightened her clothes unconsciously. _I haven't said anything about what I want to do to your daughter yet. So the sooner I get out of here the better it is for everyone._

"Yes?"

"You want to leave the flowers here?" Arthur asked, gesturing towards the flowers still clasped tightly in Ashley's hand.

"Oh. Yeah." Ashley agreed handing the flowers over.

"Bye girls, have fun," Arthur called out as Ashley began to sprint for the car, dragging a laughing Spencer behind her.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I still can't believe you made me endure that!" Ashley moaned into her dinner platter.

Spencer rolled her eyes, "Oh please, you got away easy. My dad made this one guy in Ohio empty out his wallet, just to check for any hidden condoms."

Ashley snorted, "You're kidding! But all guys carry an extra around in their wallet. It's like guy law or something."

Spencer frowned, "Yeah, I never did get to go on that date. And who knows? He could have been the one."

"Hey!" Ashley retorted.

"Just getting you back for calling my dad your one true love."

"Oh and after that interrogation I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him," Ashley sighed.

"So far we've spent the majority of dinner talking about my father in some way, it's a little discouraging," Spencer pointed out.

Ashley grinned and watched as Spencer suddenly sat up straighter in her chair.

"Ash!" she whispered.

"Yes?" Ashley asked innocently.

"Is that your foot?"

"Yes."

"We're in a very public place."

"What can I say? You sounding all jealous turns me on."

"What doesn't turn you on?" Spencer asked, her eye lids beginning to flutter.

Ashley put on a big show of thinking about it, "Glen," she answered removing her foot.

Spencer glared, "Tease!"

"I felt you argued your case well. We are in a public place after all," Ashley protested with a grin. Her grin only grew as a green bean hit her in the face.

"You so did not!"

"I've never been that good at eating my vegetables," Spencer replied, throwing another green bean. This one bounced off Ashley's chin as she tried to catch it in her mouth.

"Spencer, I've never been prouder to be your girlfriend. Starting a food fight in the middle of a restaurant, I love the way I've rubbed off on you."

"I love the way you've rubbed up on me," Spencer said, her eyebrows dancing.

"Dirty," Ashley purred.

"Too bad we weren't able to sit in a booth," Spencer added.

"I think we're more than ready to get out of here," Ashley concluded.

- - - - - - - - - -

They were in the car again, and Ashley's nervousness had returned full force as it drew nearer to her surprise. Luckily, she was too busy making out with Spencer in the backseat to give it more than a passing thought.

Spencer's hands were playing with Ashley's hair, her knee firmly placed between Ashley's legs, her mouth busy drinking Ashley in. It was heaven.

_Mmmmm_, Ashley hummed in her head, feeling her body sink further into the seat.

Spencer's hands slid down to the hem of Ashley's skirt and then began to travel back up underneath it. Unfortunately at that same time, one of those passing thoughts lit up like a firework in Ashley's brain.

"Mfghfm" she mumbled into Spencer's mouth.

Spencer pulled away with an exasperated sigh. "What? Couldn't you tell I was busy trying to seduce you?"

"Yes, yes…it's just that I had another stop planned and I want to get to it before I have to get you home," Ashley said breathlessly.

"We were getting to it. But I suppose I could stop if you really wanted me to…" Spencer trailed off as Ashley realized that Spencer hand was now lightly tracing the elastic in her underwear as she spoke.

For a moment Ashley forgot what her point had been. "Yes…no…what? What's? Damn it!" she cursed. "Why must you be so irresistible!"

Spencer laughed and leaned back onto Ashley so the older girl could feel her entire stretched out body.

"Think unsexy thoughts," Ashley muttered to herself before Spencer began to nibble on her bottom lip.

"How many times must we go through this talking thing? Less words, more action," Spencer admonished.

"Okay, okay, how about a compromise? You come see what I want to show you, and then with whatever time is left…" Ashley gestured to their current position. _If you still feel like it, _she added to herself.

"Fine," Spencer conceded with a pout. "But you owe me."

"Right," Ashley agreed, pulling herself back into the front seat and pulling out a bandana.

"You trust me?" she asked.

"Of course," Spencer answered, also arranging herself back in the front.

Ashley handed her the blindfold. "It's a surprise."

"Dirty," Spencer chuckled as she put it on.

Starting up the car Ashley only had one more question, "Spencer, have you been having fun?"

"I always have fun when I'm with you."

"Okay, well if this next part doesn't go over as well as planned, just remember that."

- - - - - - - - - -

Ashley helped Spencer out of the car and leaned in close to her ear, "You can take off the blindfold," she whispered.

She watched and Spencer slipped it off and observed the younger girl's eyes widen. She looked at Ashley questioningly. Ashley just motioned her forward.

Together they walked up the candle lit path. Spencer's hand found Ashley's and gave it a gentle squeeze. When they reached their destination Spencer took in the sight of the gazebo before her. It was lit up by strings of light and flowers decorated every surface. She looked back at Ashley, her eyes shining.

"Okay, now before you say anything," Ashley began, "I know it's totally movie type cheesy, but knowing what this place meant to you…"

"I don't know what to say, Ashley," Spencer's voice was husky. "This is beyond words. I can't thank you enough."

"Well, I had a bit of help in the implementation," Ashley said shyly.

Spencer's brow furrowed for a moment. "Aiden?"

"No, but I won't tell you who it was," Ashley responded. "I know, you're thinking that there isn't anyone else who is for this relationship but you'd be surprised."

Turning she went to the CD player nestled in the corner. Pressing play a slow song began to fill the air. Ashley held out her hand, "May I?"

Spencer's soft hand found her own and as usual their bodies just fit together perfectly as they began to sway. Their foreheads rested against each other. Ashley noticed the single tear that found its way down Spencer's face even though the girl's eyes were closed.

"I love you, you know that right?" Ashley asked quietly.

Spencer just nodded.

"There's something I have to tell you," Ashley finally said, her voice breaking.

Spencer's eyes opened, in them were unshed tears. "I figured."

* * *

_Dude! So, your reviews are so amazing. Everyone, without a doubt, blows me away. Maybe next time I'll say a few personal thank yous. It would be well deserved._


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Note: Whoa! I got so many reviews for that chapter that I'm giddy! Please, keep it up. Not that I need it or anything (covers smile). I was going to give shout outs this chapter but there was just so many people that I didn't want to take up half of the page. But soon, I promise.

Chelsea is now in the story because I love her. (grins)

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Despite Ashley's admission, neither girl moved away from each other until the end of the song. Finally, Spencer pulled away and took a step back. When she looked up her face was almost Ashley's undoing. It bore no signs of accusation, but rather this look that suggested she was already resigned to being hurt by the news to come.

Ashley immediately began to backtrack, "It's not really that big of a deal. I mean, it's so small it's almost insignificant but I just thought you should know, because I don't want to keep anything from you. And it was so long ago! Really, it's silly."

"Ashley, you're babbling," Spencer broke in. "Just tell me," she added in a softer voice, almost pleading for this standoff to end.

"I guess what should understand, is I was never really with her. We never dated, we were never a couple, we never even kissed. There was just this attraction, this undercurrent of 'if anything ever changes for either of us, the other will be the first to know.' It was silly, a childish flight of fancy. Flirtation."

"Just like you and me at first," Spencer ventured.

"Yes," Ashley agreed without thinking but the look on Spencer's face quickly made her change her words, "No! I mean no. Because that was something never meant to be. Something that never really was. You and I are meant to be. We always were, even before we met."

Spencer was looking thoughtful. When her mind finally came to the appropriate conclusion she looked shocked. Ashley's heart dropped as Spencer took another step back, her body tensing.

"Madison?" Spencer asked, horrified. "God, Ashley."

Ashley panicked. "No, no, see it's not a big deal. It was nothing. And then Aiden came along and it was all getting too uncomfortable anyway so him and I hooked up. And I wouldn't have even brought it up at all if I didn't have to. That's how small it was."

"It got too intense for you, you got scared, and so you ran. Just like you tried to do with me, only I wouldn't let you. You can't deny the common thread here," Spencer almost yelled, her voice shaking in the effort to keep herself under control.

"No! No…just stop trying to analyze me! I can't think when you're putting words in my mouth like that. It was insignificant. We hate each other now. Even being in the same room together leads to the inevitable combustion," Ashley snapped.

Spencer's eyes flashed again as she caught something else Ashley had said, something Ashley had hoped she would gloss by.

"What did you mean, you wouldn't have brought it up unless you had to?"

Ashley knew deep down that the way she played this could make or break everything. Taking a deep breath to try and control her raging thoughts, she dove in.

"Do you remember the other night at the party? You thought you saw someone, and you were right. It was Madison. She got a picture of us…ummm…being intimate. She threatened to pass the picture around, in her usual way, unless I confessed everything to you."

Spencer just looked dazed by everything. "Everyone already knows we're together."

"This picture was a pretty big deal, Spence. There's a difference between everyone knowing and everyone seeing. It was a bit more than kissing."

"And since when do you fold for blackmail?"

"Since it wasn't just me who stood to get hurt," Ashley answered honestly, hoping all the love behind her words would be evident.

But Spencer didn't even seem to hear her, she was following her own mental path. She had wrapped her arms around herself as if hoping it would give some small form of protection.

"And why the hell does Madison even care?" the blonde finally blurted out. "Why would Madison want me to know this? It seems more harmful to her rep than anything."

"I've been thinking a lot about that," Ashley admitted. "I think it's because in her own twisted way she was worried about you. And after doing all that she could to break us up, she realized that the only thing she had left to use was the truth. The two of us, me and Madison, we were never really an option. She has a hard life and she's always trying to find a way to make it easier. Being with me would be the exact opposite of that. But still, she took everything personally. And I think it was easier for her to think we were just two straight friends who really got along. But then when I came out, it scared her. And now she thinks I'll hurt you too, but she's wrong."

"No, I would say she's right. This definitely hurts," Spencer said under her breath, but not low enough that Ashley didn't hear her.

Unfortunately for Ashley, her way of dealing with the bad was to lash out. She had never learned to control her emotions in any adult way, she had never had the proper roll model. She was blaming herself, and the more Spencer added to that blame, the more she wanted to lash out. It didn't matter how prepared she had been for Spencer to hate her.

"What?" she finally snapped. "Why is it suddenly a big deal that I have a past? You've known this about me, I've never hidden it from you. I have a past! I've been around the block a few times. I have experience. We dealt with this. You didn't care before but suddenly you do. Even thought nothing happened! Ever!"

Spencer looked as if she had been slapped. "And if you think that's why I'm hurt and angry, then you don't know me at all. Even though it makes my skin crawl to think about you and Madison ever even regarding each other in such a way, what really hurts is that you lied. You lied to me, Ashley, looking me straight in the eyes."

"What are you talking about?" Ashley demanded.

"You told me she lied when she said something about the two of you having an interesting history. You told me she was full of shit!"

"Well…no…I mean I…" Ashley faltered.

"You wouldn't have even told me now if you weren't forced into it. You would have kept lying about it. You would have pretended to be just as confused whenever Madison lashed out at you. 'I don't know why she does that either, Spencer!'" the younger girl mimicked.

She took another step away from Ashley, her eyes begging the older girl to fix this. Her breath began to pick up as she finally walked out of the gazebo.

"Are you alright?" Ashley asked out to her. "Are we alright?"

"I can't do this right now, I just can't," Spencer maintained. "I need to get out of here, I can't think with you so close to me. I can't breathe when you look at me."

"I'll take you home," Ashley offered, starting forward.

"No!" Spencer said sharply. "No, I'll call one of my brothers, I need some space right now," she added, softer this time.

Taking out her phone she turned away from Ashley, but the brunette could still hear the conversation.

"Clay? Hi, I need a ride home. No, I'm fine, I just need to get home. I'm…oh, you know where I am. Okay, just please hurry? Thanks."

Turning back to Ashley she gave a half hearted smile, "So…Clay?" she asked, her eyes darting towards the decorated gazebo.

Ashley gave a half hearted smile in return, "And Chelsea," she confirmed.

After that a silence stretched out between them. Ashley stared at Spencer trying to read the girl. Spencer, on the other hand, seemed unable to look back up, instead studying the ground intently. The lights from the gazebo and the path provided plenty of light even though night had settled everywhere else. Seconds ticked by turning into minutes and those minutes dragged on in Ashley's mind, feeling more like hours.

"I'm sorry," she finally said after urging herself to take the plunge.

Spencer finally made eye contact, "I just need some time," she responded, her voice betraying more of her pain then her words did.

Ashley took a step forward, hoping to somehow comfort the girl she loved, but at that moment a car pulled up and Clay and Chelsea stepped out. Spencer turned and ran towards her brother as Chelsea made her way down the path.

"This didn't go so well I take it," Chelsea remarked.

"Not quite the way I hoped. I confessed something about my past and she took it about as well as I thought she would," Ashley sighed.

Chelsea nodded, "I guessed when you asked me and Clay help you set this up that you had some news you were hoping to soften. This was sweet, but pretty extravagant."

Ashley threw up her hands in exasperation. "Who didn't figure it out?"

After helping his sister into the car, to make sure she was okay, Clay joined the two girls.

"What the hell happened? I thought this was supposed to be some romantic evening!" he questioned.

"Apparently he didn't," Chelsea offered with an apologetic smile. "Clay, this isn't our place to ask that kind of question," she added.

But Clay wasn't to be deterred. "It is my place. That's my sister, and I can tell she's hurting. I want to know what you did."

"I didn't do anything," Ashley began, feeling more annoyed by the second. "I told her something and she didn't like it."

"And that would be?" Clay asked, his hands in the air in question.

Ashley had had enough. She didn't owe him any explanation even if she did commend his desire to protect his sister. She wanted to shut her mouth and refuse to offer anymore information. But true to her nature she offered a smart ass comment instead.

"I'm pregnant with Spencer's illegitimate miracle child."

Clay just froze, his hands still in the air, his face unreadable.

"I think he just shut down," Chelsea said with worry.

Clay jolted into movement again and looked at the car with his sister and then back at Ashley, his face showing signs of life and his hands clenching into fists.

"And now he's rebooting. Maybe you should run," Chelsea suggested.

Ashley didn't run, it was Clay after all, but just to be safe she did take a step back so Chelsea was now between the two of them.

"No. No that's not possible, there's no such thing as a miracle child!" he stuttered.

"Jesus?" Ashley piped up from behind Chelsea.

"Shhhh!" the girl hissed back at her.

"Come on, Clay. Let's get your sister home. Ashley has some stuff she needs to deal with herself right now," Chelsea said, calmingly taking Clay's arm.

Clay went with her, probably still unnerved by Ashley's ridiculous outburst.

"So there's no child?" Clay asked as they were walking away.

"No, there's no child," Chelsea soothed him.

Ashley just remained rooted to where she was until the car finally drove away, the back lights glistening like stars until finally they too disappeared. Ashley was alone again. The place she always seemed to find herself.

Walking back into the gazebo she looked around for a moment before picking up the CD player and chucking it. Then, her energy gone, she sank to the wooden floor and began to cry.

* * *

_I would just like to say, I hope people don't kill me. But there has to be drama right? And believe me, it's always darkest before the dawn. Just hold on, stay with me, leave awesome reviews, and it will get better. That's a promise._


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note: This is a short chapter because at the bottom there's some responses to people who have been leaving reviews. I wrote the responses before the chapter, so when I'm speaking as if you hadn't read this chapter yet, you'll understand why. Also, I just posted two new one shots, so if you're a fan of angst, you should check them out.

Oh, and here's the thing with this chapter. I get into a topic that many people don't agree with me on. So, just...you don't have to agree and if you think Spencer's reasoning is stupid, just mark it down to silly teenagers. But I did actually try.

Disclaimer: Same old story, folks. I own nothing.

* * *

**Chapter 23**

After sleeping on it, Spencer couldn't figure out who she was really mad at. She felt she had every right to be upset with Ashley. Her girlfriend has lied about her relationship with Madison. Sure, it was in the past, but she had lied. It might not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but this caused their already small circle of friends and enemies to draw in even closer. Madison and Aiden. Aiden and Ashley. Ashley and herself. Her and Aiden. Glen and Madison. Madison…and Ashley. It was enough to make her stomach hurt. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be a part of what was beginning to seem like a vicious cycle of partner swapping. She just wanted to love Ashley. And apparently so did everyone else.

As the day wore on, the more she began to feel angry at herself. Maybe she had overreacted. Or maybe she had jumped into a relationship without really knowing the hardships it would present. Maybe she wasn't ready. And if that was the case, could she really blame Ashley for any of it? Spencer was the one who had convinced the girl to believe in what they felt for each other. And now here she was second guessing all of it.

But every time she closed her eyes she saw Madison and Ashley together. She saw them laughing, secret smiles, glances that held promise. Whenever Spencer would try and remember times before she and Ashley were a couple, Madison began to take Spencer's place in her own mind. And then Ashley had run from the feelings. Just as she had tried to do with Spencer. Madison hadn't fought, but Spencer had. It meant that Spencer loved Ashley more than Madison did, but did it mean that Ashley loved Spencer more?

Rolling over in bed she tried to think about anything but Ashley. The problem was, everything reminded her of Ashley.

"Argggg!" she screamed into her pillow.

There was a knock on her door and even though she knew the timing would be too perfect, Spencer's heart still began to speed up.

"Come in," she said, unable to squash the hope in her voice.

Chelsea walking in with an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry, I know you were hoping that it would be Ashley, but I wanted to check on you."

Spencer shrugged, "Only a part of me wanted it to be Ashley. The other part is really happy that it isn't. I still don't know what I'm going to do."

Chelsea shut the door and took a seat on the bed by Spencer's feet. "Do you want to talk about?"

"What is there to talk about? Ashley almost had a thing with Madison. In an emotional way Ashley actually did have a thing with Madison. How am I supposed to take that?"

Chelsea gave her a small smile, "Ashley has led quite a colorful life, but that doesn't make her feelings for you any less real."

Spencer sat up and hugged her knees to herself. "I don't doubt her feelings for me. I just…would you like to know my theory on love and hatred?"

"I'd be honored."

"I don't think love and hate are opposites, in fact I think they're the same emotion in a way. For both you need to have this well of passion, this ability to feel things deep. When you love someone you give them a part of yourself. You open up to a person and while it makes you feel complete and whole in a way that's wonderful, you've also opened yourself up to the possibility of being hurt more than anyone else could ever hurt you. So, I think if you hate someone, really hate someone, you had to have loved them to begin with. The love somehow became hate. The love is hate. That passion just didn't go away, it changed, it became something else because the hurt was just so much, because the passion couldn't just dissipate that easily. Does this make any sense?"

Chelsea gave her a look that clearly said she was trying to understand, "I'm not sure yet."

"There's no love lost between me and Madison, but it doesn't even reach the hatred that her and Ashley appear to hold for each other. I always just thought that Madison had done something so horrible to Ashley in the past and that Ashley had responded in turn. Neither of them were ever able to drop it from then on. But that wasn't it, not completely anyway. They cared for each other deeply. And that passion is still there."

"Only, now it's in the form of hatred?" Chelsea speculated.

"Exactly," Spencer moaned.

"I think you're thinking about things way too much," Chelsea added.

Staring at the ceiling Spencer mulled it over. "I know. I am. But I guess I don't anyone feeling that way for Ashley except me. Maybe it's part jealousy, that someone was before I was, that someone else wasn't just a bed buddy."

"What about Aiden? He'll always have a thing for Ashley," Chelsea pointed out.

"But the difference there is that while Ashley and Aiden are still good friends, Ashley is indifferent towards him in many ways. She doesn't get worked up when Aiden is around, she doesn't get flustered and talk about it all the time. It's a whole different can of beans with Madison."

Chelsea chuckled, "You've thought about this a lot, I see."

"I barely slept last night," Spencer confirmed.

"Well, I still think you shouldn't worry about it so much. But I also know you can't change the way you feel, and right now you feel betrayed," Chelsea began.

"She lied to me," Spencer interrupted quietly, "I asked her if there had ever been anything between the two of them and she flat out told me no. Madison had told me there was, she had pulled me aside and actually told me the truth. But I chose to believe my girlfriend. I chose to believe the girl I loved. And this is where it got me. My nemesis ends up being the one who is honest with me. I can't just forgive that so easily."

Chelsea looked sheepish as she opened up her arms. Spencer gave a small smile in return and let the older girl hug her. It felt good to have a friend again.

"So," Spencer began as Chelsea pulled away, "when Clay grills you on what happened in here, you're going to make up something right?"

Chelsea laughed, "Don't worry, I'm not going to spill any secrets about your love life. I'll just tell him it's a female thing."

"That really does work with my brothers!" Spencer agreed. "Thanks Chelsea," she added shyly.

Standing at the door the girl grinned back, "No problem. When your best friend becomes your girlfriend, I imagine your left with no one to talk to about it. Anytime you need to talk, I'm around." With a last wave she left.

Finally getting out of bed, Spencer finally decided where she had to start if she wanted answers. Picking up her cell phone, she made the call.

"Hey. We need to talk."

* * *

_To those who asked me to post more soon and enjoyed the update: Thanks! And here you go, new chapter, hope it's up to par._

_Annie-C: I understand the angst love. And I'm trying to throw in a bit here and there, but as I'm sure most people have noticed, this is my feel good fic for the most part. I'm always surprised when you angst lovers still comment, although it's greatly appreciated. This latest will last for a bit though. I hope._

_EmoKitten: I've gotten from a lot of people that Spencer overreacted. But I don't know, I feel like I would have reacted the same way in her position. Had it been anyone else, it wouldn't have mattered, but this goes deeper, and I hope I do a good job showing her feelings in this update. And yes, I love Chelsea, too._

_Southismyantidrug07: Ummm…it will. Eventually. _

_Carlymarie82: I've been having the same problem with the show lately. Deep down I wanted to keep the fic completely feel good. If people wanted drama they could just go tune in to the show. There's enough "non couple-ness" going on there. But I needed to spice up things a bit. I'm glad it rang true with you, I was worried about how people would take it. And welcome to my story, it's always great to have new readers to try and entertain._

_Oreos and Malk: Even though I feel more for Spencer's character, Ashley is my favorite to write. I'm glad you enjoy reading her. As for your criticism…you're right. I can't argue with the facts. But while this story did start out with the usual development, it became my way to write out my Spashley fantasies, especially now after the beginning of the second season. It's less of a story, and more of how I see their life would actually be, which I know makes it less interesting to be, but that's the price to pay. Sometimes it's going to be good, it's going to be sappy. _

_BROOKLYNDEB: Hmmmm…it's an idea._

_Meeee: Don't worry, they won't make up yet. But it is going to happen, this fic isn't all about the drama. That's the-N. But I'm glad that you are enjoying the drama when I do actually write it. And I'm glad you could feel the pain. Means I'm doing something right._

_Holz: I promise to make the inevitable reunion a sweet one. Deal? No more damning? _

_The angst lovers: Just a repeat to those who want more drama, this fic isn't totally about the drama. But feel free to read any of my other SoN fics, including two I just added. Every other story I write is about angst and pain. I hope that helps a bit as an outlet. _

_Thanks again for all the reviews._


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Let there be an update. And fireworks? I don't know. But there is indeed an update. Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

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**Chapter 24**

Spencer sat on the smooth park bench and remembered her childhood while she waited. The benches in Ohio were always made of wood, not plastic and as a child Spencer would sit and swing her legs over the side, waiting for the day her feet would finally touch the ground. She would pick at the peeling paint with glee, mostly because it disappointed her mother. Those were days when little things brought her so much happiness.

Now it seemed the little things were what brought her pain. It was like a splinter. Small, almost unnoticeable to most onlookers, but Spencer could feel it under her skin. It caused her discomfort, it caused her pain. And she just wanted to pull it out.

Sitting straight on the bench, feet planted firmly on the ground Spencer fought against the bitterness and humid afternoon air until finally a car pulled up. The girl who got out was graceful, every movement full of purpose, she was nothing if self assured. Spencer envied that, she always had. But any warm feelings towards the other female ended there.

"Madison."

"I'm not here for some dirty tryst, Spencer, so get talking or I get walking."

"Oh, you're so clever," Spencer drawled out slowly. She could hear her own sarcasm dripping from her mouth and she mentally cringed.

Madison's response was to shake her keys in the air. It gave a very clear message: She would have no problem leaving before Spencer got any answers.

Biting back her last bit of pride, Spencer just asked what she really wanted to know, the question that made her call Madison in the first place. "Why?"

Madison stared back, her eyes cold.

"I'm sorry, do I need to clarify? I guess you do ruin lives as often as you bed hop. Gotten any new and exciting STDs lately?" Spencer growled out before she could stop herself. Being nice to Madison, even if there was a good reason for needing to do so, left a nasty taste in her mouth. It didn't feel natural.

With a tight grin Madison turned on her heels and flashed Spencer the finger over her shoulder as she returned to her car.

"No, no, I'm sorry. Please Madison. I'm sorry," Spencer's voice was painfully pleading. But she still didn't get up from the bench. She wouldn't run after someone like Madison, not even for Ashley. That was letting girls like Madison win. Her hands gripped the bench almost painfully.

Madison froze at her car door. Her fingers nails tapped against the door handle for a moment before she turned back and strode confidently right up to where Spencer sat. She stared down at the blonde, a cruel smile on her lips.

"Don't you think you had the right to know?" she demanded of the blonde.

Her question struck Spencer as harshly as if she had been slapped. She wanted to deny it, she wanted to fight, she wanted to be able to lash out. But she couldn't if Madison actually made sense. She couldn't fight it if she actually agreed.

"I'll take your silence as confirmation," Madison continued.

Spencer's eyes rolled in her head, _Someone took their smart pills with breakfast_, she managed to only say to herself.

"But why do you care? Ashley should have told me, but come on Madison, what's it to you? You've been trying to break us up even before we began going out. I won't believe this is anything but another attack. So, I want to know why."

"Where is your soul mate anyway?" Madison asked instead. "Usually you two present such a united lesbianic front." As the word lesbianic, Madison gave spirit fingers.

"My relationship with Ashley is really none of your business," Spencer began again.

"And yet here I am," Madison interrupted.

"So just answer the fucking question, bitch!" Spencer finished.

The bitterness behind Spencer's language seemed to even throw Madison off for a moment. She took a step back and broke the eye contact. When she looked back her face was softer. It seemed they would continue to keep each other on their toes.

"I will deny all of this until my dying day. And if you think I've been riding you now, if you ever tell anyone I said any of this I will make your life a living hell. You will never know another moment of peace," the older girl warned.

"I get it, Madison. Consider me warned. I just want answers."

Gesturing for Spencer to move over, Madison took a seat next to her on the bench. "Ashley Davies broke my heart. It's what she does. She makes you feel things you never expected or wanted. She revels in that power. And then she uses it to break you. It's a power trip, Spencer. You, me, Aiden. All of them."

Spencer shook her head. "No. I'm sorry you got her, but Ashley and I aren't like that. We're in love. She wouldn't hurt me like that."

Madison opened her arms wide and made a show of looking around. "She's not here. I'd say that's a big sign that she did hurt you like that."

Spencer couldn't help but concede the point for a moment. It felt easy to blame Ashley for the way she was feeling. But then she remembered who she was talking to.

"No! You hurt me. You did this…you…" Spencer trailed off as she ran out of steam.

"I only made her tell you the truth. The truth she should have told you to begin with. She didn't want you to know because she didn't want you to see the connection. You and I aren't that different, Spencer." Madison's voice was soft and comforting and Spencer could feel herself being lulled in.

The Latina continued, "The best thing about Ashley is how she makes you feel safe and cared about. But in Ashley's world it's always easy to have that illusion ripped away. And then you feel even more raw than you did before her."

Spencer felt herself nodding along. That was exactly how she felt. What was wrong with her? She felt Madison's hand on her own, giving her comfort. She couldn't bring herself to brush it off. She was caught in some kind of whirlpool. The spinning made her dizzy and suddenly Madison felt like the only thing she could hold on to.

"You will be okay," the soothing voice continued, saying everything Spencer wanted to hear. "There's life after Ashley, the pain will subside. No one will be able to hurt you like that again…and we can let her know how she made you feel…" With those words Madison's hand relocated to Spencer's thigh.

It was all Spencer needed to break free of her downward spin as her mind connected the pieces together. Jumping up from the bench for the first time since Madison had arrived she shook herself to get rid of the lingering feeling of Madison's touch.

"No! God, no. I'm not going to hurt Ashley because I'm angry, and even more than that I'm not going to do anything with you. Ever. You're heartless!" the blonde raged. Her thoughts were filled with images of Madison trying to put the moves on her. What had she been thinking? How had she allowed Madison to get inside her defenses like that?

Madison didn't even flinch at the change in Spencer's demeanor. The same smirk remained on her face only now Spencer recognized it for what it was. "Payback's a bitch," she said simply.

"You're the bitch! I can't believe I thought you were trying to help me, even for a moment. All this is about is hurting Ashley," Spencer spit out.

Madison actually laughed at that. "Yes, you naïve hick. It is about Ashley. Admit it, it's always about Ashley. When's the last time you ever did anything for yourself? Once you're part of that web you never get out. And so I'm going to get out by hurting her like she hurt me and then I can break free once and for all. You'd be wise to follow me. She's hurt you too."

Spencer just kept shaking her head, her mind being flooded with realizations. "I don't want to hurt Ashley."

"You're still caught under her spell," Madison began.

"No! No, I don't want to hurt her because I love her. And even though she hurt me, that's not how someone who cares about another more than themselves will behave. I actually love her, which is something you can't say. You were just infatuated. You don't know how to love because no one has ever loved you." Spencer almost felt bad for what she was saying. But deep down she believed it and it was time she let it out.

Madison's smirk finally fell as she stood slowly. She grasped Spencer's arms hard her grip tightening steadily as she spoke. "The lines have been drawn. I'll give you one last chance to choose wisely. She will end up breaking your heart, if she hasn't already."

"And the reason she always seems to passionate is because the feelings she still has for you are guilt and sadness. She feels bad for hurting you. Nothing else. And I won't sell myself for you. I won't become you," Spencer charged on even though the grip was becoming unbearable.

Madison finally released her with a shove backwards. "It's your heart," she said as she got back in the car.

Watching her enemy speed away Spencer let go of the breath she had been holding. She watched the car until it was out of her sight and even then she stared for a few more minutes.

"Hey, thanks!" she called out. "I still don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do…" she added quietly. Putting her hand on her pants pocket where her cell phone rested, she willed it to ring and take the decision out of her hands.

---------------------------------------------

Ashley stared at her phone. She didn't know the proper procedure for this kind of fight. When she normally had these problems in a relationship she just ran. No one was worth this kind of confusion and torment. No one until Spencer.

"So am I allowed to call her or do I wait for her to call me? Do I give her space or do I show her that it's her I want more than anything?" she asked out loud to the phone.

The phone rang in response, causing Ashley to fall off her bed in surprise. She desperately grabbed for the phone but after reading her display she simple threw the phone back onto the bed and collapsed onto her floor. Aiden would leave a message.

"You really suck sometimes, Davies," she whispered to herself.

Her phone rang again from the bed and even knowing it would be Aiden Ashley couldn't help but leap from the floor and grab the phone.

Answering it this time she only had two words for the boy, "No Aiden," before she hung up.

"I'm heavily broken," she sang into her pillow as the song began to repeat yet again.

The phone began again causing Ashley to growl and then curse in its general direction.

"What?" she yelled as she flipped it open.

"Wallowing in self pity isn't going to get your girl back," Aiden said patiently.

"It's more self hatred then anything else," Ashley pouted.

"However you're feeling right now, Spencer is feeling ten times worse. And you can't leave her like that," Aiden pointed out.

"It's not my decision though, meathead. This is something she needs to work though herself," Ashley replied, fighting back tears.

"And you need to let her know you will be there for her, no matter what she decides. Either way, you can't disappear now. You need to leave your room. Come out with me, we'll try and figure out your game plan," the boy suggested.

"Promise not to take advantage of me in my fragile state?" Ashley mumbled.

"Would I do that?"

Ashley let her silence answer the question.

"Okay, I promise. I'll be there in twenty," Aiden groaned.

As Ashley hung up the phone she stared at it in the palm of her hand and willed it to ring and take away her sadness.


	25. Chapter 25

**There's really no apology that would be enough. So...here's a new chapter. There's only two or three chapters left. And the next one has ALREADY been written so there won't be this huge gap. Also, I really liked the sound of that ice cream. But no coconut. Indeed.**

_Standard disclaimers apply._

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**Chapter 25**

Glen was annoyed.

For three days now Spencer had moped around in near silence. She still did her chores, went to school, and ate dinner with the family so she didn't arouse the suspicions of their otherwise occupied father. But Glen wasn't so self absorbed that he hadn't caught on. Especially since her moping made her move slower and once again they would be late for school.

He also wasn't so self absorbed that he hadn't noticed there had been no Ashley interrupting their lives during this time of moping. He was sure many people would be surprised to learn he also wasn't that self absorbed to feel sorry for his sister. He was, however, too self absorbed to ask for Spencer to fill in any details so he could help.

"Spencer, get your ass downstairs!" he yelled up to his younger sister, tired of waiting.

He was answered with a light slap to the back of his head and his dad entering his line of vision. Mouthing, "language," Arthur disappeared out the door on his way to work.

Before Glen even finished rolling his eyes he was yelling back upstairs, "Damn it, Spencer…." He was interrupted from his rant as his sister finally appeared at the top of the stairs. He had to give the girl credit, despite the downtrodden way she carried herself she still managed to look classy.

"About fucking time," he said as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm sorry," she replied without looking him in the eyes. Without another word she started towards the door.

With a sigh Glen just followed her. He would never admit it out loud but he missed his sister dishing it out as well as she got.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aiden stared at Ashley as she sat behind the wheel of her car in the school parking lot. It had been three days since the "breakup" as it was labeled in Ashley's mind. Despite his numerous attempts to cheer her up the smile never seemed to reach her eyes and all the laughs were forced. It hurt him to see his two friends hurting knowing exactly what it would take to heal them. But not being able to actually step in and do it himself.

He hadn't spoken much to Spencer, but that was because she seemed to be avoiding everyone at this point. She would arrive with her brother, eat alone, walk the halls alone, and then leave. The only person Aiden saw her interact with was Chelsea. He was glad she had someone she could turn to. And he was determined to be Ashley's someone until all this could be worked out.

Reaching Ashley he tapped on her window and grinned as he watched her jump in surprise, her hands finally releasing their death grip on the steering wheel.

Moving out the way so she could open the door and begin her day, Aiden cocked his head and smiled softly at her. "It's gonna be okay. We'll just start on our plan today."

"Aiden, we didn't have a plan. I ended up eating ice cream and crying like a catholic school girl who just lost her virginity in the back of a pickup. And the only plan you came up with was to kidnap her."

"I still say it would work," Aiden protested sheepishly. Putting his hand on her shoulder he gave it a soft squeeze. "So, are you ready for a new day?"

"A new day of watching Spencer refuse to look at me? To have to pretend my heart isn't aching for her? Yeah, why wouldn't I be ready?" Ashley snapped back at him before turning to stride towards the school.

"That's not exactly what I meant…no," Aiden whispered quietly to himself as he started to jog after her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn't until lunch that Clay was able to catch up with his sister. In the few days since her fight with Ashley she had managed to perfect the art of keeping a low profile. With that in mind he was surprised to find her sitting at a table out in the open and seemingly staring off into space. It wasn't until he sat down next to her that he saw a certain brunette across the court.

"Let's get out of here," he suggested once he knew Spencer had sensed his presence.

"It's not her fault you know," Spencer whispered starting down at her hands fidgeting with the water bottle.

Clay was silent for a moment as he ran back over the image of his sister's tear streaked face as she ran away from Ashley. "You're never going to be able to convince me of that one," he responded with a snort.

It was Spencer's turn to be silent as she looked away to stare at Ashley again. She began to speak so quietly that Clay had to strain to hear her.

"It wasn't anyone's fault. It was…unfortunate. A series of moments, of past moments, that collided and yes, I got hurt. But Ashley did everything she could to try and soften the blow."

"And if that's all it was, then why this?" Clay asked, waving his hands vaguely towards where Ashley was sitting and then back at Spencer. "Why not just be together?"

For the first time Spencer looked up and met his eyes. He could see the unshed tears there and he felt his heart break for her all over again.

"Because it's just not that easy. Because I have things I need to finish working through. Alone," stressing the last word Spencer stood and walked away from the table.

Glancing from the retreating back of his sister back to the slumping form of Ashley, Clay cursed silently to himself. In high school as well as matters of the heart, it only took one small mistake and it would all go to hell. He had no idea how we was going to fix this one.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hi."

Ashley's head shot up, her eyes betraying the surprise she felt at Chelsea standing before her. Chelsea couldn't help but grin at the confused look splashed across Ashley's face. But her grin faded as the surprise slipped back into looking like a kicked puppy.

"May I sit?" she asked the moping girl.

Ashley waved her hand to the empty spot next to her.

"She was staring at you," Chelsea offered up, as a way to lead into the topic but also show she wasn't there to judge.

Again Ashley's head shot up and took a desperate look around the area. Chelsea could tell she was searching out that piercing blue stare.

"She's gone now. But she was watching you the whole time," Chelsea admitted.

"So what does that mean?" Ashley asked.

"That things aren't as bad as you seem to think they are," Chelsea answered softly. "She just needs time, she hasn't stopped loving you. Quite the opposite it would seem."

"And why wouldn't she just tell me that?" Ashley probed deeper.

Chelsea just raised her eyebrow and waiting for the brunette to answer her own question.

Finally, with a sigh, Ashley conceded. "She tried and I just wasn't listening. But this is so stupid. I don't understand why she's so upset. It's the past and it has nothing to do with us or my love for her. I know I shouldn't have lied to her about it, but in my head it was nothing. Not even worth the mention."

Listening carefully Chelsea nodded slowly. "I can understand that."

"But…" Ashley questioned.

"But, obviously it means something to Spencer. You might not be able to understand where she's coming from but you have to respect her feelings."

Noticing Ashley about to open her mouth, Chelsea held up her hand. "Which you are obviously doing, I know. But instead of stressing about why she's upset, just accept that she is wait for her to work through her issues on her own. She will come back to you. If she had no intention of doing so, she wouldn't be as hurt as she is right now. She would just brush you off and move on. She's not moving on, she's dealing with what she needs to."

Ashley narrowed her eyes, "So, how much do I owe you?"

Chelsea just laughed and patted the other girl on the shoulder. "Consider this a free consultation. Sometimes you just need another girl to talk to about things. He might be sweet and fun to look at but Aiden can't be too good at emotional advice."

"He wanted to kidnap Spencer," Ashley agreed with a chuckle.

"I'm going to go old school here, but like grandma used to always say, buck up camper. Things can only get better from here," Chelsea added with a grin as she got up and walked away from the table slowly.

She had only gone a few steps when she heard Ashley repeat quietly to herself, "Things can only get better. Unless they get worse."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

At some point after lunch Spencer had decided to skip the rest of the day. There was no point in being there when she was unable to focus anyway.

Standing at her locker she heard soft footsteps approaching behind her. She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. They were footsteps she would know forever.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hi," Ashley whispered back. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

Spencer turned around and looked shyly at the older girl. "Shouldn't you be?" she asked lightly.

Ashley gave her a small grin in return, "Am I ever?" she asked, prompting polite laughter from both of them.

When an awkward silence overtook them, Spencer turned back to her locked and pretended to be searching for something hidden inside. After a moment it was Ashley who began to speak again.

"You know, our friends are probably going to start plotting ways to get us back together," she said with a forced chuckle.

Spencer rolled her eyes at her locker. "Well, it would be pointless of them," she groaned. Turning to look back at Ashley, she noticed the other girl looked as if she had been slapped.

"Oh." The word just seemed to fall out of her mouth.

"What?" Spencer began, before realizing exactly what the older girl must have thought. "No! No no no, I mean, it's pointless because…because it's nothing that can be fixed like that. It's all because of me, inside of me. And besides, I don't see us as apart. I just need time."

"Because of you?" Ashley snorted. "I'd like to hear that logic."

Spencer took a deep breath and steadied herself against her open locker. How could she possibly explain something she didn't understand fully herself? She seemed to always be in this position. Lost and yet trying to put it all into words.

"My world has been shaken lately. As you know. You know all of this. We moved, I made new friends, lost those new friends, met you. Fell in love with you. I've been judged not only by people who I've never met but my own mother. I was threatened to be sent away because I am wrong and broken in her eyes. My mother left. My father has begun drinking and he's rarely home. I've felt more lost than I've ever felt in my life. I was searching for a steady foundation and I thought that foundation was you. But then, I was wrong. Again something that I had placed all my faith in turned out to be shaken. I'm not saying I don't have faith in you, or that I don't believe in our love but in the end it still hurt me. And all of this just made me realize I need to be my own foundation. I can't place it all on another person, it has to be me. And that's what I'm working on Ashley. Placing my faith in myself. Becoming my own foundation. That's why I need space from you. Does that make any sense? Can you understand that?"

Ashley just nodded and Spencer could see the unshed tears in her eyes.

"I wish I could be that for you," she whispered, her voice breaking.

"I know," Spencer agreed, "but it can't just be you. It has to be me as well. And I need to get to that place."

Wiping at her eyes Ashley just nodded again. Spencer kept her gaze on Ashley's as she slowly closed her locker. Taking a few steps backwards she began to disengage from the confrontation, her eyes still meeting dark brown ones. She saw red lips form the words, "I love you," before turning her back to the brunette, her heart no longer sure if she was making the right decision.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ashley leaned her head against Spencer's locker and felt the cold metal seeping into her brain. What could she possibly have said to such a confession? It was honest, heartfelt, and most of all she could understand Spencer's decision. But it didn't make anything easier. It didn't chase the loneliness away. It didn't make her miss Spencer any less.

Just as she felt the first few tears slipping down her cheeks, she felt hands grasp at her shoulders and spin her around. The next thing she knew Spencer's lips were crushing her own. She gasped into the mouth on top of hers and froze for only a second before wrapper her arms around the body before her.

Spencer's palms were against the lockers behind Ashley, keeping her in place as she leaned in even closer. Ashley felt Spencer's body hard against her and the locker digging into her back. But she didn't say anything, she just held on tighter and pulled her in even closer. And as Spencer's tongue began to lick at her lower lip, she forgot everything else but that feeling.

And she realized that Chelsea was right. It could only go up from there.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Spencer was drowning. And though she splashed around helplessly in the deep waters, she didn't call out for help. Although she was tired and aching from trying to keep afloat, she knew she had to save herself. But no matter which direction she turned, all she saw was more water. She was lost. She was alone. And she was tired.

It wasn't until she finally stopped looking towards the horizon and focused on what was right in front of her that she noticed the life preserver floating in the water. And she realized it wouldn't save her, it wouldn't swim her to solid ground. But if she held on then at least something else was helping to keep her afloat. She wouldn't be holding on alone.

So, as her lips crashed into Ashley's she grabbed hold and she held tight as Ashley kissed her back just as hard, her hands grasping at Spencer just as desperately. Because, Spencer realized, she was Ashley's life preserves just as much as Ashley was hers. They were stronger together.

Finally pulling apart to breathe, Ashley's head rested for a moment against Spencer's until, exhausted by her emotional breakthrough, Spencer finally let her head fall against Ashley's chest. Resting there she listened to the older girl's ragged breathing and the heart racing beneath. Spencer wasn't sure how long she rested just listening when Ashley clearing her throat brought her back to reality.

"You know what this means right?" Ashley asked, her hands softly stroking Spencer's hair.

Spencer straightened herself and looked into the eyes she adored. "It means we're officially back together," she said quietly.

Ashley frowned slightly at the words, "Well, I was thinking about the fantastic make-up sex, but yes, I suppose that works as well."

Spencer couldn't hold back the loud laugh as it bubbled out of her, happiness finally finding a place inside her again. "You never change, do you?" she giggled, giving a light punch to Ashley's shoulder and turning to start walking away.

Over her shoulder she could hear Ashley yelling after her again. "Hey! Hey! But you wouldn't want that right, baby? Baby? You don't want me to change, do you? I mean you love me for me, right? Is it too soon to joke about this?"

Spencer's happiness and Ashley's words made the blonde laugh so hard her shoulders were shaking but she kept slowly walking away.

"Heeeeey! Baby! Where are you going?"

Finally turning back around Spencer called back just as loud, not caring who could hear her from the classrooms. "The sex isn't going to have itself, Ashley. Get your cute little butt in gear."

"YEAH!"


End file.
